Romantically attracted to men, sexually to women...

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Shau
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05 Sep 2012, 5:55 am

Like the title says, I'm romantically attracted to men, and (mostly) sexually attracted to women. What do?!

I can find some men very attractive, and I've fooled around with men before, but that full on sexual spark only exists with women. This sucks!



Thom_Fuleri
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05 Sep 2012, 12:11 pm

Sounds like you're bisexual, with a stronger leaning towards women.



LordExiron
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05 Sep 2012, 12:49 pm

I'm sort of the same. I feel sexual passion for both men and women but on different terms, and only feel romantic aptitude towards men. For me it's more lusty and dirty with women and more soft caresses and moonlight with men, if that makes sense.

Basically, my advice would be, if you are interested in dating men, go for it, and you might be surprised and find out that the sexual attraction will develop as you bond with the person. Or maybe you will find a woman that gives you that romantic spark. If not, I guess you will have to decide what's more important or work out an unconventional relationship arrangement.



IdahoRose
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10 Sep 2012, 2:35 am

I occasionally find myself developing crushes on cute guys, whether due to their personality or appearance or both, but at the same time, I am disgusted by the thought of sex with men.

By contrast, I tend to think of other women in both a romantic and a sexual way. I could see myself in a long-term relationship with another woman.



Reptillian
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10 Sep 2012, 11:11 am

There is a term called homoromantic heterosexual and heteroromantic homosexual. Those are not the same as bisexual.



Rorberyllium
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10 Sep 2012, 10:17 pm

As the poster above said, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are separate and don't always align with one another.

Also keep in mind that there is more to the world than just "men" and "women". Perhaps you'd be interested in someone who fell somewhere in-between?

And sexual and romantic identity can also be fluid, the way you feel now could someday change. Keep your heart open and the right person will come along, they may even be someone completely unexpected or outside of your preferences.



Virginiarw
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12 Sep 2012, 12:34 am

It is completely possible to be attracted to a trait (ex: masculinity) and be attracted to a sex not accociated with that gender. (by society's terms) We just got to break down the "rules" society creates. You might be interested in the gender bread cookie.

[img][800:906]http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Genderbread-2.1.jpg[/img]



Ai_Ling
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02 Oct 2012, 2:49 am

Yeah I can kinda relate to that. I am way more sexually attracted to females but I could never imagine dating them or a lot of times there personalities turn me off. I am very emotionally attracted to men and well the emotional attraction in me can compensate in a way. I guess brainwise Im bisexual but for the most part I live my life as straight. Not that I completely rule out woman, it would have to be a very special female.



lifeofmammals
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02 Oct 2012, 4:57 am

If you want to keep your options open, it's probably best to describe yourself as bisexual, (or some variation on that). I'm somewhere in the middle in terms of my sexuality, but I never would have realised how much it would fluctuate over the years.

I know it's useless advice, but try not to over think it and just keep meeting new people.



aspi-rant
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02 Oct 2012, 5:13 am

i would suggest to find a polyamorous relationship with a woman and a man.



Iloveshoujoai
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02 Oct 2012, 10:52 am

Shau, I am exactly the opposite: sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to only women.



kinako2
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11 Oct 2012, 3:00 am

Iloveshoujoai wrote:
Shau, I am exactly the opposite: sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to only women.


+1, though the gap has closed quite a bit as I get older. Sex with women is still fun, just hasn't happened in years.

Men on the other hand... :wink:


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kittylover
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12 Oct 2012, 4:27 am

When sexual thoughts started at puberty, I always felt only attracted to women. However, my internal gender conflict made me assume that I was going to be a gay man, though I never acted on it. I eventually realized that my assumption was wrong, because I never did become attracted to boys/men.

After coming to terms with my innate desire to be female, I started taking hormones. I've been on them for a few years now.

The hormones have subtly changed my orientation. Often, I'll cry because I feel so lonely, and end up daydreaming about having a guy cuddle with me. I'd like a guy to hold me, let me lean on him, and comfort me when I'm crying. I sometimes get these feelings while I'm talking to male friends - my subconscious wants me to cuddle with him.

Despite this, I feel sexual attraction mostly only toward women. I also deeply envy them, wishing I could look like them.

Does this make me gay or straight?



Rorberyllium
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12 Oct 2012, 11:00 am

^ Heteromantic lesbian?

Don't worry so much about what it makes you and just do what makes you happy and find someone who can make you happy. It might not even be someone who falls into what you thought you were looking for.