Staring, and when to say hello

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How do you know when to say hello if someone in your vicinity is known to you, but not looking your way, or is talking to someone else?

I end up staring like a dummy just incase they look at me, then I will nod and say hi.

If they don't look at me and I just speak to them then they either look shocked or ignore me, so I don't do that unless I know them really well.

I get called stuck up, aloof, told I ignore people (I have prosopagnosia so often don't know who they are in a different place), I am the most confident shy person anyone knows too, apparantly.

Anyone got any tips?

I am a non social introverted hermit, and live in a trailer park. I don't know anyone here, but will always try to remember to smile and wave at the neighbors when I see them. If there is a reason for it, I will also engage in brief conversations with them at times. This is part of being "civil", and makes a big difference in how others perceive you. They know I have health problems, including bad knees, and that I don't go out much, including out into my yard, but they also know I don't make trouble for them, and that I will smile and wave, and occasionally talk to them, so they are quite willing to be "civil" back to me, without being pushy about it. I don't mind being taken as being a little "off" from normal, as long as I am not seen as trouble. When people think you are trouble, they can cause trouble for you.

I suggest you smile and wave at the person, if they are engaged with talking with someone else, or you aren't sure that they have noticed you, and then just go about your own business. That way you have politely "recognized" them, but have also been polite enough to not interrupted them in their own activity. This is informal, civil, and non pushy, so this works well in such situations--at least it has for me.

Thanks questor, I'll try that.

I always try to be friendly and always wave at people I know in our town as we drive past, but that is (strangely) more of a one to one situation, helped by the fact that conversation isn't possible anyway. I am good in one to one situations, and in work I am only really in a room with one other person at a time, which saves me.

When there are many people and many ways of approaching them, like when picking up the kids among other mums (or when I worked in an office OMG), I'm lost as to how to pass myself without falling into the social gaffs of doing/saying too much or too little.

I hate it when I'm walking to my house and my neighbours are out, but are doing something in their garden and so haven't seen me. I am too shy and stupid to shout out, ''hi ya!'', and due to my lack of confidence, my voice just drifts off and nobody hears me properly, then I feel like I've just spoke to no-one. But then if I walk by quietly, they might then see the tail-end of me and think, ''oh, she walked right by and didn't speak.'' If they see me as I'm coming along, I feel much better, and I say hello.

I also find it awkward when I walk into the shop where I volunteer, and the person on the till (who is normally the first person there I greet) is busy with customers. I feel bad if I just walk by, but I feel like a twat if I just stand there gawping. Again, I'm too quiet and unconfident to yell, ''hello!'' when they're doing something, in case they don't hear me, which will be even more embarrassing because the customers always do and they'll just stand there staring at me like I've just done something wrong.

Also my mum always says hello to random strangers when she passes them or joins them in the bus stop, and sometimes it makes me feel worried that I look unfriendly and that's why people don't greet me when I walk by like they do my mum. But I always feel awkward having to stare at them and smile in order to get a hello, because I've smiled at someone before and they just glared at me as if I was daft, so I stopped doing it now. And I'm always afraid to speak first, in case it might come out in an unconfident way. Admittedly, my mum has said hello to strangers before and they just glared at her or looked away and passed. I know saying hello is friendly, but I think it can make you look a bit stupid because it's the 21st century now and people aren't the same as what they were back in the war times, and sometimes saying hello to every stranger can come across as creepy.

I've tried the smile & wave thing but it just makes people look at me funny. I think they don't expect it, or I don't smile 'properly' or something. I find best thing is to forget the idea unless people actually make the effort themselves.

If I see someone I recognise and I notice that they haven't noticed me, I walk the opposite direction.

i dont know... i usually stare at the floor and cannot force myself to look up till they say something to me first. but i dont think that is how it is supposed to go.

This is my default mode, like the rabbit who didn't want to get caught in the headlights and escaped just in time