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Civ001
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 161

15 Sep 2012, 8:06 pm

Im 18 and I find it very hard to get in a relationship. One a year I may get a girl to like me but I never find any interest in them due to various reasons. I've never had a girlfriend before or had a first kiss at all. I am a nice person and have a good personality but I don't know why women won't go out with me. I have the following things that may interest girls:
1. I am nice, I have a nice kind personality and I never really get mad
2. I have good hygiene, I brush my teeth morning and evening and I take showers as well and use deodorant
3. I am smart and can help people in difficult situations
4. I am also doing some exercise I walk the dogs twice a day and that usually helps
5. I can be independent and do my own things
What can be wrong about me:
1. I have terrible sense of fashion. Not that I suck at fashion but I just don't know what is in style now a days. I am very plain and basic and I hate the shops and stores that are out today
2. I have some light acne but at least I have acne products for that
3. I don't have that much money for a job or anything like that but I am going to college in a bit so that might help.
4. I don't have many friends. I never really get out and it is hard for me to find things to do.
5. I can be kind of boring when I go out to places. I don't know where to go out on a date at all.
6. I am not that attractive to other people but then again I see plenty of couples go out with other people that arn't as attractive.



Blammo
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 217
Location: Chico, California

15 Sep 2012, 8:48 pm

I find mutual interests can help start, grow, and maintain a relationship :)

Everyone has a common thread, you just have to find it and pull it.


_________________
Since everyone else has this on their signatures.. might as well conform:

Your Aspie score: 121 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200 You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


zemanski
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 271
Location: UK

16 Sep 2012, 7:34 am

The focus has to be on building friendships - with both genders - once you can do that successfully you will have a much better chance of meeting and building friendships with girls in particular which hopefully will lead to a relationship.

So many AS men make the mistake of focusing on the girlfriend relationship before they have built the basics of friendship - it comes across as desperation and puts girls off big time even though you may feel you aren't showing it.

You cannot make girls like you, you can only build on your confidence and social skills to make you more attractive to everyone. Being a good person is a great start but you need to be able to actually meet and relate to people in general for others to be able to find that out about you.

A good place to start is by doing some people watching - look at how friends behave together - in the pub, in a cafe, around college, etc, and start to figure out the levels of closeness physically, the way they observe each other, the way they flirt (friends often flirt together even when they have no intention of entering a relationship)......... There are an awful lot of things you can learn by observing how others interact and you can even role play those interactions in private to practice skills.

Remember that you need to be discrete about how you observe others because you don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and observation can become stalking if you get too carried away.