Are the problems people have with Aspergers luxury problems?

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Multiplex
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18 Sep 2012, 1:53 am

Hi,

in my opinion, many problems people have with Aspergers, are that they don't feel entertained enough. My impression is based on two experiences: First I have been working four years as Head of Controlling in an old-fashioned public service company, I was working solely with men and never heard a complaint about me. We were simply doing what we had to do. Ok, I was not included in their social lifes but among the managers there was no private contact anyway.

The second experience is that during my work with many people from ex Eastern Germany, I noticed that they are very different. They don't bother if a boss doen't show feelings, they don't want to be entertained all the time, they simply do for what they are paid. The problems I sense, only occur with individually grown-up people like in Western Germany. Actually, it should be the opposite: People with individual socialization should be more tolerant to Aspergers than people with a socialistic education. But it isn't the case. Those who were grown up in socialism, are in fact much more tolerant and don't need that "social ape behaviour" we are so proud about. Also I had a boss from Eastern Germany during six years and he never wanted me to appear as a showman. He was lucky for me to be correct and even he told me not showing too much emotions in discussions! He was an example for me and I have orientated myself on him.

Can it be that NT are in fact those who want us to get back in evolution? Aren't the most successful scientists Aspergers? And can't it be that NT are only envious of the above-average performance of an Asperger? Who is not able to differ between pure words/facts, feelings and charisma of a person? People who first need to learn to manipulate people, I cannot take serious and often they really don't perform much. I trust even more in acts, in feats than in a good show. I don't like this game. I have, like many Aspergers, more problems with "easy to manipulate people" than with well educated people. But why do I have to adjust myself to people who like to see a great show? In this case either I look for another work as manager or I prefer working as a specialist without having too much issues with this social, luxury and in the end, decadence issues.

Multiplex



SavageMessiah
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18 Sep 2012, 2:26 am

I agree, western culture does exacerbate Aspie issues. Although I believe we can easily keep ourselves entertained with interests, it's more frustrating on the outside as more is expected of us. If your main issue is with your employment, I would only put on your "showmanship" in necessary situations. Now this being a core part of the job might create more problems than it solves, in which case you might seek different employment...


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Multiplex
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18 Sep 2012, 3:14 am

Some years ago, I thought that I only have a mentality problem with my own nation, because when I was going to the U.S. to do project work for several weeks, I felt totally different. All the people were talking with me as if I was another person. But I'm sure that was only a case of "foreigner bonus" I got during my stay. I was interesting because I was a stranger and after a while they were only friendly but not too curious. Also, during the dinners, I was excluded most of the time as I am used to. When I would be working in the US for a longer time, in the long run I would have the same problems as here. Also other Aspergers told me about the same experience. After a while, when people know how you are, they don't refer your different behaviour on the other mentality, but on your personality.

Also I have another evidence for cultural difference: A male colleague of my age around 40, origin Ex-GDR, came to my company and was wondering why it is so difficult to get in touch with people. Not at work, but in private. In bars, he was only ignored, even he is 100% NT! From his past he did never experience this kind of separation. People here in the Western Part of Germany don't like to get to know new people, even more if they are from another region. In this context, I appreciate much more the US mentality where other people don't feel offended when you come close to them and start a conversation.

For me it's a new impression that many US people suffer the same Asperger issues like offending people and causing emotional irritations. I thought you guys are "easier to handle" and not so sensitive. :wink:



megahertz
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18 Sep 2012, 4:28 am

Multiplex wrote:
They don't bother if a boss doen't show feelings, they don't want to be entertained all the time, they simply do for what they are paid.


Yes, I guess many so called aspie problems are problems of mentality. If you happen to work in a place where you are allowd to have "a job and a private life" you're fine. But if your colleagues expect that "your job is (part of) your private life", you run into all those luxury problems.
If you work in a place where showing too much feelings is known to be unprofessional, you're fine, too. But if you work in a place where people expect irrational show-offs, you've got a problem.

I work mostly with men and I get along quite well. They see my work and accept the person who does that work.
Only for a few months I had a job in an office full of women - a catastrophy! I noticed that the ladies did not judge me by what I did, but by what I (didn't) chat about. They spent every free minute slagging other people off. When I had a different opinion or refused to join another nonesense, they started to chat about me.



DRzero
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10 Jan 2015, 4:54 pm

I didn't read the original post extremely carefully, but my answer to the question is "no". I had a lot of trouble finding a good job, and I almost lost that job for bullshit reasons. I wouldn't call those "luxury problems".


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xenocity
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10 Jan 2015, 5:11 pm

In the American and British business cultures put a big emphasis on socializing in the work place to maintain a job and for advancement.

If you don't bother to socialize in the right fashion at work, then you are as good as gone regardless of your job performance.

You also won't see much advancement or raises either if you solely focus on your job.

The say goes "It's who you know, not what you know!"


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Norny
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10 Jan 2015, 8:42 pm

Yes, NTs are holding back the next step in evolution.

No, AS problems are not luxury. You're allowed to feel sad despite starving Africans also feeling sad.


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QuantumChemist
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11 Jan 2015, 12:31 am

Multiplex -

Yes, some of the most successful scientists are Aspies. It all has to do with their specialization interests in science, abilities of concentration for long periods on mentally challenging tasks and to constantly think creatively. However, there still is a portion of socialization even in science. Unless you just want to work under someone else in a lab the rest of your life, you have to build contacts to move up the ladder. Usually you gain some contacts with other scientists via your grad school research adviser so you can get internships, post docs, jobs, etc. after you graduate. If you do not have a good relationship with your research adviser, that route can get cut off and make your transition to the workplace much harder to do. Also, you have to make relationships with fellow grad students so that you can have them as possible collaborators on research projects later on. If you cannot do that level of socialization, there is another way to success in science. In that case, you have to be able to modify your research projects in such a way to make them much more important to the world. For example, say your research is on designing a slightly more efficient solar cell for household use. Well, if you changed the materials to make them out of cheap, reusable throw-away plastics with many times better conversion efficiency than any others reported, that is a high impact research project. You have found a way to take wasteful trash and make it valuable to others. Companies will come looking for you if it is done well enough, regardless of your mental condition(s).



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11 Jan 2015, 12:44 am

No.


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