What is the difference between being friendly and flirting?

Post Reply New Topic

I have noticed that during my rare adventures in the real world I am often taken the wrong way.For me to step out of the front door my mind has to be in a positive place.So I am feeling happy and I smile alot.There have been numerous times when guys have taken my smile as a signal that I want something else.This is not the case.I rarely start a conversation but out of being polite will always respond if someone talks to me.It seems that this is also taken as a signal for something else.Why is being friendly often taken as flirting?What is the difference between the two?

... I'd like to know the answer to that one, too

I generally don't see flirting, and when I do, it turns out it wasn't actually flirting.

Any experts ?

JO! (l33t f0r yo)

I'm the expert, cause I flirt a lot, but I do it subtly. (SP?)

Usually if the person is just being friendly, they'll just talk and smile, see how you are and all that jazz.

But if they're flirting, there is going to be a noticable difference in how they talk to you, look at you, and in general their whole attitude.

Things to look for from a person flirting:
1) if they like you a lot, and they're embarrased, because they don't want you to know, they'll blush really easily
2) slightly gigglish(girls mostly in this case, men will usually just look around trying to focus on something else)
3) A slight stammering.

these three are the more noticable.

If you were flirting, then most guys would probably miss it regardless.

Furthermore, there are some guys who would construe any interest you give as being a signal for something more (and most of the time they would be correct in doing so.)

Hope this clears up your confusion.

Just remember to stay postive, smile and be friendly.

Men are always taking friendliness as flirting. It's just the way our brains are wired.

Don't worry, it's something that one of my boyfriend's exes can't seem to get to grips with either, and she's NT. She seems to think it is perfectly fine to bat her eyelids at him whilst talking about her naked body, how beautiful her breasts are and how she'd like it if his pants fell down. Bearing in mind it was the first time she met me and did this right in front of me whilst ignoring me all night pretty much. I don't know which part of her thought that that would make me like her.

The difference lies in intent.

Flirting IS a way of being friendly.
I flirt frequently as this is how i feel comfortable showing affection, it means that i am comfortable with the person i am flirting with and trust them not to believe that i am wanting more.
Though that doesn't count as you are talking specifically about people you don't know, it seems as if these people who are approaching you decided that you looked friendly and approachable (smiling) and figured you'd be less likely to dismiss them if they approached you (no-one likes rejection).

The thing is that women always suspect mens motives. I never flirt, I'm not good at it and I just don't do it. When I'm friendly to women I think they suspect I'm trying to hit on them... actually I suspect some men think that too, oddly. Although I can't be sure.


Just another aspect of society I can't cope with.

Whoa, boy have I always had problems with even looking at girls and working out what they are thinking (not to say I am any better with guys). Flirting is pretty had for me to grasp. Either they are interested in me or they are not, and any indiciation that they do like me I tend to exaggerate to gross proportions. Though I know I do it, so I tend to throw myself back into the real world every now and then. I wish they would just say what their intentions are.

It times like these I wish I picked up a huge book on body language in the book store (even though I have no money at all) and learned more than I already know. Reading my first book on body language was such an eye-opener.

Anyway, umm... yes...stuff!

As a rule of thumb, if they are touching you, or make reasonable contact more than once or by accident, then you should seek further interest, as they may very well possibly be interested in you, possibly.

Dude, I had an awful experience with this just today. It was the last day of my class, and there was a girl who I'd only briefly spoken to before but wanted to get to know better, because she seemed cool. I didn't know her well enough to be romantically interested--it was strictly platonic. But I still wanted to get to know her, and this was my last chance. So, after class I talked to her...and she didn't really talk back much, because she was busy doing various errands then. Eventually she had to leave, and I asked if she would call me, were I to give her my phone number. She replied, "Probably not, because I have a boyfriend." Now, she really hadn't said it in a bitchy way or anything, but it ticked me off that she assumed that I liked her like that, so I was like, "I was just being friendly. Are you making an assumption about me based on my gender?" I feel really bad about it, actually, because in retrospect it probably wasn't clear to her what I actually meant. Most of my friends are girls, and most of them have boyfriends (you know what they say: everyone has a boyfriend in San Francisco!), and for most of them (if not all), I don't have any romantic interest, and they all understand that. I wish I had actually expressed that rather than get on her case...she probably thought that I was pissed to find out she wasn't single, or something. I must have come across as a total creep. I feel really bad about the whole thing, and have been thinking about it all day. If there's one thing I obsess on more than the girls I actually AM romantically attracted to, then it's guilt.

I can tell the difference between flirting and being overtly friendly. When a woman starts touching me(like putting her hand on my chest or other body parts),laughing at my stupid jokes,being very close and starts adjusting their clothing(such as a blouse) its definitely flirting.

DT. that's not flirting. that's another sign right there.

I flirt way too much for having a girlfriend
I often get comments like is there something between you and this girl.
But i don't care what people have to say about it.