Stupid things people say (joke)

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Joined: 2 Nov 2004
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12 Mar 2005, 6:32 am

Here is a site that cracks me up.

Warning, some people might be offended.

Here are some real warning labels found on things:
http://rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

Real excuse letters written by parents.
http://rinkworks.com/said/excuses.shtml

Post your favs!

Civet
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12 Mar 2005, 7:44 am

Heh, maybe I'm just morbid, but these are my favorites:

Quote:

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

This is by far the best one, in my opinion:

Quote:

"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

ElfMan
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12 Mar 2005, 8:06 am

Thats funny Hale Bopp. I got cruising around the same site and found these kids quotes on science am laughing so much!

http://rinkworks.com/said/kidscience.shtml

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TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 9:53 am

Its not on the site, but my recurring favourite is tranquilisers having the warning "may cause drowsiness"..... Well, duh!! !! Always cracks me up that one.

Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:

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Mockingbird
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12 Mar 2005, 9:56 am

TAFKASH wrote:

Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:

I think "Caution-May Contain Nuts" is funnier on a package of nuts :lol:

TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 10:04 am

Mockingbird wrote:

TAFKASH wrote:

Oh, and bags of nuts that contain "caution: contains nuts" warnings - can't forget them either.... :roll:

I think "Caution-May Contain Nuts" is funnier on a package of nuts :lol:

Oh yeah - that one was on the site after all... Sorry, hadn't read that far... :roll:

As was the tranquilizer one...... Should have the read the site before posting really..... :oops:

Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......

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duncvis
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12 Mar 2005, 10:16 am

TAFKASH wrote:

Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......

Shouldn't that be 'pedantry'?

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TAFKASH
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12 Mar 2005, 10:22 am

duncvis wrote:

TAFKASH wrote:

Which leads us smoothly into this weeks installment of "Pedanticism 101" - namely that peanuts aren't actually nuts at all, but legumes.......

Shouldn't that be 'pedantry'?

That's a dangerous road you're taking us down there old boy..... :evil:

I feel a wild off-topic swerve coming on......

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KtMcS
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12 Mar 2005, 11:16 am

As a vegetarian I I have to pay attention to food labelling. What I love is when they put them on obvious foods- I have found 'suitable for vegetarians' on ready-packaged vegetables and 'not suitable for vegetarians' on the packaging of chicken slices.... :roll:

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Mockingbird
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12 Mar 2005, 11:41 am

KtMcS wrote:

Hehe, I am vegetarian, too, and I found "may be processed on equipment that processes meat" on a bag of frozen burgers :roll:

BTW I love your avatar :wink:

KtMcS
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12 Mar 2005, 1:13 pm

George.W.Bush- the missing link between apes and man :lol: The best evidence for evolution yet!

http://www.signhumor.com/
- lists of actual signs from around the world some are intention and others are signs made with the best of intentions ( one of my favourites being 'no children allowed' on the door of a maternity ward!)

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coyote
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12 Mar 2005, 3:30 pm

What's funniest about odd warning labels is knowing that they probably put it there after having been sued by an idiot who actually did the thing and got injured :roll:

Bec
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12 Mar 2005, 3:48 pm

Quote:

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

Classic!

Quote:

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

Where were they using it internally?!

Quote:

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

Lovely.

Quote:

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

Sadly, I'm sure there are people out there that would do it.

Quote:

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

I really have nothing to say about this one.

Bec
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12 Mar 2005, 4:00 pm

Quote:

"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

About the last line: Too much information!! :lol:

Quote:

"Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

That is a very interesting and creative medical treatment.

Quote:

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

So...that's how it is in their family. (Yes, that line is from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)

hale_bopp
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12 Mar 2005, 6:40 pm

Civet wrote:

This is by far the best one, in my opinion:

Quote:

"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

That's my fav, too. By far the best.

thechadmaster
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21 Mar 2005, 5:31 pm

Found on a bottle of hand soap: "use as you would any other liquid hand soap"

hmmm, what other use is there?

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