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rachel_519
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16 Oct 2012, 4:44 pm

Does anyone else suffer from or have a history of doxophobia?

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/doxophobia wrote:
Noun
doxophobia (uncountable)
A fear of expressing one's opinion.
A fear of being praised.

When I was a child, I would avoid doing anything that might allow my family to know what I was thinking. I guess it comes down to wanting to avoid attention, or maybe wanting to avoid inconveniencing people by liking something different from what they like. I would not join in any activities unless there was a precedent set for it (e.g. my older brother did it before me or parents or teachers directly encouraged me do it) because if I did something unexpected, it might expose my inner thoughts and opinions, which I was trying to keep hidden.

I guess you could say, I didn't want anyone to realize that I wasn't a robot, doing and thinking exactly what everyone else thinks. It is strange because people often encouraged me to speak up and express my own opinions. What is ironic about this is that, even while I was trying to keep people from noticing that I was an individual, my parent were constantly commenting about how independent I was :? probably because I was so introverted.

In my late teenage years, I finally gave up on hiding my opinions desires because I realized that:
1. Even after I reached adulthood, I would never be able to do escape people's observation
2. Therefore, I would never be able to do anything that I wanted to do if I would only do it when no one was watching.
After realizing that, I now do pretty much whatever I want to do and let people think whatever they want to about it.

I still dislike being complemented or praised, although not to the unusual extent that I used to dislike expressing opinions. I grin and bare it and try to get away from the person's attention as quickly as a I can without being rude. But I guess lots of people do that to some extent.


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Self-DX: Extreme Introvert, possibly with ADHD-Primarily Inattentive; Official DX: Generalized Anxiety Disorder


AnotherKind
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16 Oct 2012, 11:21 pm

I can instantly feel how a panic attack is coming each time someone start a sentence with "OMG, you're so...". But in my case i'm afraid to express my opinion or if I do express it - because sometimes my mouth talks ahead of thinking - I have a strange feeling of guilt, shame or intense fear that the other person one would perceive me as a weird or crazy person. It is a very nasty phobia. I was thinking it might be because of my anxiety as well. I've always been praised/rejected too much for all my life and I think this created a "dissonance cognitive" in my head. Too much criticism/appraisal could lead to narcissism too.


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Last edited by AnotherKind on 16 Oct 2012, 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

emimeni
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16 Oct 2012, 11:31 pm

I find it odd, sometimes, when I realize I'm good at something. I feel the need to "start over" so I can be "new" and "not-good" again. It's strange, like I want to be nurtured in a way that "newbies" often are.


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