I have high standards.

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I have a problem.
I'm 21 years old and have AS (no thats not my problem, I'm just going to delve into myself more). I wasn't diagnosed until I was 19 so I spent all of Junior high being an academic high achiever and anti-social, and so when I decided that I was going to go to a different high school I also decided to completely make myself over to be a social butterfly, which didn't work out so well, but I did get boys attention and I dated a few (and they all ended badly)and because I started to feel as if I was insignificant in boys lives, but I still craved their attention so I became somewhat sexually promiscuous in between going through a series of disastrous relationships.
Anyways, recently I've dealt with that, as its a dangerous way to live your life and it doesn't get you any positive attention anyways, and I've tried dating the "normal way", but the problem is that I get so bored with the guys that I see after a while, because although they are what my friends and family describe as "nice guys" none of them match my standards. I'm starting to think that its impossible to find someone who matches up to me.
Anyways, the boy that I'm seeing right now is pretty cute, and he dresses well, but he still hasn't graduated high school (yes, he's over 18...) and he's no where near as intelligent as me. He's pretty wonderful and he would stop the world for me, it seems like, but lately I'm just not as attracted to him as i was in the beginning. My question is, do I continue this, in hopes that it's just a temporary loss of interest (which may be possible due to the winter coming and my moods drastically changing due to a medication change and the weather), or should I just stop wasting my time and end things now?

So you went from bookworm to teenage heartthrob and now you've ended up somewhere in the middle and you secretly want to go back to what you were before this whole shebang because you fear it's compromised your personal integrity?

Relax.

Are you sure the "high standards" aren't just you being uneasy about the whole thing?

If you want to get really tricky then tell him you "want to spend one last christmas together and then you need to go your seperate ways" or something:

-A) You wont be miserable through the holidays
-B) Moods drop this time of year as is
-C) It will encourage him to regain your interest

Or, dump him if you just don't feel it. I'm not privy to how girls see these things and i'm a horrible therapist.

Btw... Not that I judge based on education alone but how do you not pass HS/

I'd say give it some time.

Don't be too hasty about this, as your date seems really "Nice guy",
But since you probably enjoy more intelligent human beings, so you shouldn't suffer over it just because he's nice and kind.
You might just get bored having him around and it will hurt you more in the future.

But bear in mind that this doesn't mean that you should start hunting
for "bad guys" again for whatever addiction you girls have for it
Just be vigilant or whatever and try to find guys like minded as you,
instead of dating for the sake of dating and take your time!

lolol I dunno see what others say

Even in late teens it's pretty common to "get bored" of your dating partner even if you have the best of the bunch. Don't put it down to anything he's not doing as he sounds great, or necessarily anything you're doing. Could be moods, tastes and such adjusting right now.

Doesn't everyone have high standards?

I didn't, and look where it got me. (sarcasm) High standards are a good thing. I wish I'd had higher standards when I was your age.

Live your life, OP. Attraction does tend to fade with time, but real love is a choice you make and it requires a certain level of sacrifice and compromise. Please don't worry about ending a relationship with somebody if you're not willing to do those. (I mean, do show concern for the guy's feelings, especially if he's crazy about you). I'd give it a little time and try to see if you still enjoy being with him even without the crazy chemistry of a new relationship. If you start to feel stifled or like you're lowering yourself to his level and miss the intellectual stimulation, and you don't have other people to be around or enough time for yourself, you should be honest.

I've had somewhat similar experiences(even though I'm a guy). The most important thing is to step back and ask yourself as objectively as you can how compatible the two of you are together. If he's simply not as intelligent as you and doesn't have prospects for improvement in that regard, it's only going to get worse as time goes by. Having high standards is important because if your partner doesn't match them, you're never going to think highly of them or really respect them.

If you can objectively say "yeah, this guy does seem like he should be pretty compatible with me", then it might have to do more with your mindset, whether that's the medication or a pessimistic outlook on the future or what have you. If he's compatible with you then I would give it time, the problems may just be in your head.

Hypergamy doesn't care....


Oh- whatever.

He dropped out and then went back. He has a lot of issues with school and it stresses him out immensely and so he avoids his work.

Hmmm. *plays the broken record* Don't be afraid of what the future holds. Just take your time. It almost sounds like you may need some space to think about things as well.

Hehehe... advices...advices..

They're all USELESS.

Is it obvious already?

OP, the fact that you did this thread means it's the end of the story.

You're wasting your time and this guy's time too.

Being true to your feelings isn't having high standards. It's just being honest.

As a person who has went the course of a relationship or two where it really wasn't enough, I'd say to just get it overwith and move on.

In terms of what you're attracted to, I think you need some guys who are a bit more out there - I'm not saying socially awkward "out there". I'm saying guys who are a bit wilder - musicians, artists, people really going to the beat of their own drum. You need someone who will take you on adventures, not out to dinner and a movie. That's your needs as a woman. So, look in other places and you'll find better options.

P.S. Most "popular" people tend to be fairly boring, in the end. Sure, they do have great social skills, but that's generally all they've got, and that's all they're into. And, for most people like you I've met, that simply isn't enough. Good luck!

If you are a thinker it might simple be that no pretty face or social skills partner will do in the longer run unless you make the decision he's just for company and comfort etc.. If that's the case you better find one that's intelligent enough for you.

And every partner is a compromise somehow, you just has to choose which ones

Sounds like it's not so much high standards but more your explorer personality. You will get bored with most eventually.

What are your standards, by the way?

I dont see high standards here. I see someone that doesnt know what they want, so they go around looking for something thats better in any way.