Sick of life.
Submission and grovelling will be treated as provocation for contempt.
Anything other than submission and grovelling will be treated as aggression and provocation for hostility.
I know what I'm supposed to do. Learn to manipulate people's emotions. It's what's worked for every woman in my life who has been treated with respect. Well, I'll be 40 in a few weeks, and it's not looking good. Never been my strong suit. Guess I'll take contempt, and rest in the knowledge that God will crown me with a thousand jewels in the next life.
Can't wait to get there.
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"