Custody of an adult with autism

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I have a 19 year old daughter who has autism. She is quite bad and needs a lot of supervision and care. She lives with me right now and her father helps out. But recently I got a new job in another state and I want to take her with me. But her father wants her to live with him and his wife. Is there anything I can do legally to make sure she stays with me ?

File for sole legal and physical custody, wait a few months, and then she's all yours.

Good luck on collecting child support across state lines, though.

You prob will have to talk to a lawyer.

This is going to be a tough one because it sounds like neither of you are bad parents. It sounds like you both have a decent working relationship.

It sounds like neither of you are bad parents. If you file for sole physical and legal custody, it's going to be a battle. As a man, if I was being a good father and helping out, and suddenly my ex told me she was filing papers to remove any legal right to be involved my daughter's life, you can be assured not only would you be persona non grata in my family, I would fight you tooth and nail in court in a long, drawn out court battle that when it ended, would turn parent against parent, child against parent, family against family. Consider carefully the implications of that.

I think though, you also have to ask yourself, before anything else, what is best for your daughter?

You'll be moving to a new state, do you have any family there? Will you be alone? You said your daughter needs a lot of care. Can you provide that care living on your own and working full time? Does your daughter have any friends in the area? If she has friends in the area, you know it's not easy for AS people to make friends.

Does the father have a better support network in place for her? Is your daughter going to be able to handle such a big change?

I don't know the whole situation, so I can't say what is best for your child, but I can only encourage you to think hard about these questions and do what is best for her.

Out of the country? You said your job was in another state.

Maybe not the answer you want, but do you really need to take the job out of state? Is there anyway you can look for one which keeps you close to your ex? I think given the circumstances you outlined, with no other detail, I really think your daughter needs both of you, and that you could probably use the respite of having your ex help.

to be honest i find ti odd why anyone couldnt work such things out without resorting to the law, as soon as you take that route you will have burned every bridge.

Man, my Mom and Dad traumatized me with all of their bickering over custody as my Mom constantly fought to have me live with her (which is where I preferred to stay because I knew she needed all the help she could get with my six month old and year and a half old brother and sister) and my Dad did the same, even to the point where my Dad tricked me into signing this paper that basically said my Mom was an unfit guardian which caused ALL sorts of turmoil for me for years. It was awful and I'll never forget it. My point is, do what's best for your daughter and if that's continuing to live with the person who's been her primary guardian, then definitely look into legal action...you can consult with many lawyers at many firms free to see what needs to be done (but would, of course, have to pay for any legal services if they're deemed necessary).

Silly question - can you actually get custody of a 19yr old, in the States? Is there an age limit?

You can get guardianship if the person is found to be incompetent to take care of him/herself.