Bad Time With Friendship

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Apologies for the capitilisation! (Would put a smiley face there but unfortunatley have some kind of horror for such things.)

Am glad to hear you have been duelling - I have long held that it's illegality in the UK is irrational. (Again - imagine smiley face.)

I meant "its", not "it's". Sorry, couldn't help it.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't edited anything in this thread. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't edited multiple times. It irritates me if I make spelling and grammar mistakes, and if I read something over and it sounds incoherent, I feel like I need to fix it. Not a horrible compulsion, but, meh...

edit: hah, and I don't always remember to type everything on my mind. Hope the two smileys (well, one and an arrow) aren't too painful.

OH GOD ANOTHER ONE!

Am glad to hear that you are concerned about both duelling and grammar. These things are important. (Imagine whatever kind of face comes to mind.)

I don't understand why this person can't have more than one friend at a time.

Her behavior is peculiar, and more importantly it is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL. It indicates that she is not interested in being your friend. I suggest you forget about her. If she comes crawling back again this time you will have the satisfaction of giving HER the boot to the door.

Well hello everyone again I'm back, computer not completely fixed but working all the same. Looks like I have a bit of catching up to do and strange how the subject changed to duelling (:Quote: Homer :Unquote: I challenge you too a duel) and grammar LOL... (just had to put the the 3 smileys in .

Leila, I am 22, don't worry about me I won't do anything stupid, I'm not at that stage yet. I will get advice from someone if I get any worse, we have a helpline over hear with people you can talk to if you need support, I may phone them. I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents, as they can be quite judgemental and the make me feel worse without knowing it.

I am thinking alot tonight about this and it's already 1.20 am here. I don't sleep extremely well, and am up till 3 am most nights. I spent some really great times with her, I think she has a big issue with trusting people herself and that's why she tested me in the first place, she told me she could trust me, therefore we became friends. I keep thinking ... did I do something wrong for her not to trust me anymore? I will never know, maybe I said the wrong thing. She obviously does not want me as her friend anymore, anytime we do get to talk, it is always about this other friend of hers, and how great she is.

Thanks for all your help, support and even making me smile.

*IrishEyes*

Well, I'm glad to hear that you won't do anything stupid.

Take care of yourself, really.

I've seldom seen two pages full of such sound advice for anybody. I was all set to give my suggestions but all of you beat me to it, and said it better than I would have. It's great!

I only want to add that I agree that it's kindness and compassion to let people, especially troubled people, into your life; but you have to have compassion for yourself first and foremost, or else you can't effectively help other people. So there's a balance. This would-be friend seems to be doing all she can to prove herself anything but a friend, and it's upsetting IrishEyes. So I think it's time for self-compassion for a while.

IrishEyes, I hope you're listening to this, And I hope you know that you have many people to talk to no matter how bad you are feeling.

Thanks jonrkc, you may have come in late to the discussion but you still had something worth while to say. Maybe I do need to spend some time getting my life back up to scratch, do things I enjoy doing and relaxing. Only after I'm 100% can I start to help anyone else. I find my emotions a bit confusing, I don't know how or what way to feel.

I am probably just feeling bad today, as I thought she would ring back and my mother gave me a lecture about how much time me and her used to spend together. My mother thinks she is horrible the way she built up all my hopes, and me finally thinking I had a great friend to talk too and then 'puff' left me and went to someone else.

Thanks everyone for all you help and positive support.

*IrishEyes*

Thought I would open it back up to say... I talked to her today for a brief period of time, which I suggested we spend some time together. I said, I would meet up with her and have a chat, she replied with... I have to visit my mother, my husbands uncle died and I'm busy Thursday. She said she would meet with me next week but did not say a day. I wonder will that day ever happen . Is this a lost friendship? after two great years, I'm really lost, any help with said would be gratefully appreciated.

Thanks!

IrishEyes

Those sound like silly excuses. Seems as if she is lying to you. The husband uncle died thing stuck out for me. That just seems like a lie. This friend of yours seems to be really selfish and self centered. I use to have this friend that I used to hang around a lot. But now that he made other friends, he doesn't bother to call and say "hi" or IM me. He calls when he wants something from me or needs a favor. Or he will call me and b***h and complain about one of his multiple Boyfriends he has (he's gay and I'm not in case you wondering). My folks pointed out to me that he was using me.

I don't have really any good advice to give ya. I would just say ignore her now whenever she wants something or is lonely.

I thought the same, that they all seemed like excuses at the time, but tried to give her the 'benefit of the doubt'. I should have recognised all the signs a while back, which I suppose I did, but tried to ignore them hoping they would disappear. It was my parents who also pointed out that I was being used, It makes me feel even worse when I can't see it myself. I suppose we will always have people like that in our lives, things we just cannot control or change as much as we wish we could. Thanks for the advice amerikasend.

IrishEyes