Going Crazy

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Steel Maiden. You are NOT going crazy. Sounds to me like you are suffering badly from the symptoms of PTSD from your hospital stay. The traumatic memories are causing a hell of a lot of your problems including the hellish flashbacks.

It is overloading your brain with emotions.

It can be dealt with bt you need hep to rationalise the thoughts..

Im on MSN as well if you need to talk tonight OK??

That is very helpful advice. I can think of several restraints that didn't seem right to me, atlhough I was on section, so I had rather less rights at the time. Although I don't know if being pinned down for 6 1/2 hours (even in the periods between the hallucinations, where I just wanted to GET UP) by 4, or 5 nurses (?) is really allowed. The NHS is known for its corruption, and my Mum told me that nurses in such places often go a bit over the top themselves with seeing all the psychiatric cases. I am going to see my Dr. tomorrow after lunch, but I have a bad feeling that she will defend them, as they are in the same NHS trust. I will try to tell my parents, but in due time. Its a very sensitive topic in this family. It is partly why I am trying to access my medical records, to see what they actually wrote about me. I looked at all the letters ever sent to my house from the Mental Health Trust, and I did not find a single piece of paper asking for consent and/or describing my rights. I will ask my Mum tomorrow if she ever read about my rights, because I was never informed. I don't even know if they were allowed to stick a needle in me with barely any warning.

I am going to my (bloody f***ing c***) Dr. tomorrow to beg on my hands and knees for my medical records. It will be traumatic to look at, but it will be like "facing my fear", and it may put an end to the thoughts.

Initials of people that I want to MURDER (and do other things in the process....):
Dr. K.R. (HE MUST DIE NOW. HE WROTE A FORENSIC REPORT ABOUT ME WHICH WAS ALL LIES. ALL. LIES. He said that I had "planned an attack on DR. N.A." WTF I DID NOT PLAN AN ATTACK YOU PARANOID B******)
Dr. N.A. (She told my school TOO MUCH about me and frightened them, she DID NOT follow confidentiality rules like Dr. D.H. did. He was good)
Some nurse - I cannot remember his name (YES, POLICE-HOLD ME WHY DON'T YOU? TELL ME TO "SHUT THE F*** UP"? YES???)

Sorry. I am boiling with anger. Due to all this thinking, I have only just realised the amount of injustice that happened in that hospital. I should go to court, but I have little evidence. Well, until I get my medical records...!

I have a copy of Mental Health Act. I'll look up rules on restraint if you want!!

Your parents as "Nearest Relative" should have had thier rights with regard you explained to them. They have certain rights while you were detained under MHA. If you were on a Section 2 they should have explained to you when you were concious your rights and the implications. Also when you were no longer section 2 or your status as a detained or voluntary patient changed they are required to inform you.

I would very much like for you to look up the rules. Where did you get the copy of the MHA from?

*Is v.v.v. tempted to put Dr. Ross' adress up here*

http://www.dh.gov.uk/assetRoot/04/07/49/61/04074961.pdf

Its perfectly reasonable for you to be absolutely infuriated over this stuff. Don't feel like you need to apologize to anyone for that.

This, on the other hand, may not be such a good idea. If anything were ever to happen to said doctor, even if you had absolutely nothing to do with it, such postings could suggest otherwise. If nothing else, someone here could act irrationally and "take care of him" for you. The best way to handle this would be through the legal system (assuming that is possible) as financial and professional suffering can be so much worse than short-term physical suffering. As sick and / or wrong as it may be, wouldn't you enjoy to see the people that wronged you unable to support themselves, because they are being punished for what they did in a way that prevents that? Not to mention that it would be done by the powers that be where you live? I don't like wishing harm upon people (get irritated with myself after the fact if I do) but this would be the most satisfying kind to me at least.

More than anything else, don't simply look at this as an isolated incident that happened to you. It is very possible that similar things have happened at the hands of these people to others. If you could manage to get something done about it, granted, you would feel a lot better (I'm hoping, and if so that would be fantastic!) but you would also be helping who knows how many people in a similar situation.

Thank you for the advice. I have still YET to access my medical records, but when I do I will pick it clean. I have just downloaded a copy of the Mental Health Act (THANK YOU WARREN!! !! ! ) so I will have a good look. I cannot type much as I must really be going to bed for school tomorrow! First day of term.

Since you're in London, they wouldn't be any help, but do you know of anything like the American Civil Liberties Union in the U.K. ? They might be of service to you, possibly even free legal counsel.

Thank you! I will look into it! Thank you very much!

A UK mental health charity who will help you with what happened and should have info on your rights is http://www.mind.org.uk

Is it hard to get mental health records in every country then? I'm still waiting for mine from last year. Grrr.

In the U.S. it's actually your right under law to get any or all of your medical records.

Now, I'm sorry for bringing this up, but you mentioned that you were on the ward with a paedophile. Did something happen with that individual that the cops or health authorities need to know about?

If you don't want to talk abuot it to me, that's fine. It's none of my business. But if something did happen it may be worth bringing up to law-enforcement or legal aid or a mental health advocacy group.

No, he was there because of his general mental state. He was... disturbed, but in a more criminal way? He tried to make advances towards me (he was 30+, I was just turned 16) and he stole a lot of my property, which, luckily, couldn't go far and I got it back.