How to tell when she's NOT interested

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05 Feb 2013, 7:31 pm

Keep in mind that many girls will be touchy feely with their close male friends as well. Friends with whom they have no romantic interest, so it gets even trickier.

As guys, we're not used to being touchy feely in a flirty sense with our male buddies, which I suspect may be a reason why we tend to mistake female friendliness for romantic interest.

AspieOtaku
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05 Feb 2013, 8:49 pm

When they find out your autistic.

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aspiemike
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05 Feb 2013, 10:20 pm

women who are not interested may also include the following:
-intentionally rude to you and are unapologetic for the attitude.
-create conflict and avoid any fixing of the conflict and become more defensive
-with the last one, may request someone to have you removed from the premises
-ridicule you when you make a joke or even open your mouth
-flat out tell you they don't like you
-hit on your best friend and imply sex was involved (under the bro code, you can no longer touch her)
-intentionally try to make you feel insecure or unwanted

hyperlexian
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06 Feb 2013, 3:56 am

B3dsage, in the further question you posed, you essentially answered your own question. if a woman acts flirty around all of her friends, then she is not treating you any differently. she is treating you the same as every other friend. she is signaling she is not interested.

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Kinme
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06 Feb 2013, 3:57 am

AspieOtaku wrote:

When they find out your autistic.

I completely agree with this.

B3dsage
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06 Feb 2013, 4:31 am

hyperlexian wrote:

I don't recall saying that.

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hyperlexian
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06 Feb 2013, 9:08 am

B3dsage wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

she says she isn't interested. this one should be obvious but it is not
she gets very giggly and excited and bubbly and happy when other people besides you enter the conversation
she avoids being alone with you, even in a public place
she cancels plans frequently and with ridiculous excuses
she acts very contrary, seeming to disagree with everything you say just for the sake of creating conflict
she avoids accidental physical contact or doesn't seem to want a hug
she stares at other men around you and seems to be trying to catch their eye
her body language is closed, i.e. hunched over, head down or turned away, but with other people she is more open
she doesn't seem to be listening to what you say at all, and doesn't ask questions or add to the conversation
she doesn't mention the possibility of seeing you ever again, and seems unexcited if you mention it
she wears heavier or less revealing clothing than usual around you, and doesn't take her coat off around you
she always tries to get other people to join your conversations if you are alone together, even strangers or randoms
at work or in a group of friends, she never seeks you out intentionally to talk to you, and every conversation is business or necessity-only
if she is old-fashioned, she won't let you pay for her food or drinks

these things are not always true in isolation (and some are just a person's own personality), but if you take a few together you may have a pattern.

A lot of women do not display these behaviors; they actually display the opposite. They will go out of their way to initiate conversations with me, get excited when they see me, even give me nicknames and initiate frequent physical contact. Yet then when I express romantic interest, they get awkward and say they just wanted to be friends.

I guess the question isn't how to tell when women are/aren't interested, but rather how to tell whether their interest is romantic or platonic.

this is what i was talking about. you can't just look at how they talk to you, but also how they talk to other people.

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B3dsage
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06 Feb 2013, 4:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

this is what i was talking about. you can't just look at how they talk to you, but also how they talk to other people.

Oh I see. So the strategy then would be to get her around other people and see how she reacts to them... interesting idea, it never occurred to me before yet it seems so obvious!

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07 Feb 2013, 4:38 pm

When she is not ovulating!

billiscool
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10 Feb 2013, 6:27 pm

I just assume every girl is not interest in me. That make it so much easier to talk to them.

Mitrovah
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10 Feb 2013, 6:58 pm

billiscool wrote:

I just assume every girl is not interest in me. That make it so much easier to talk to them.

boy i wish had your wisdom.. and lack of libido

DialAForAwesome
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10 Feb 2013, 8:24 pm

billiscool wrote:

I just assume every girl is not interest in me. That make it so much easier to talk to them.

I do this too, except I don't talk to most women now. Only the ones at my job, when I absolutely have to.

This is what years of being rejected and called creepy repeatedly have done to me.

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