Page 3 of 4 [ 60 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

bucephalus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,847
Location: with Hyperlexian

25 Apr 2011, 11:09 pm

dancinonwater wrote:
I love to laugh at myself... Having Asperger's may make people laugh, but atleast i can make people happy!


haha. don't know whether what you said was meant to be a joke or dry remark on society but it made me laugh.

How many aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?

About as many as it takes to make up a good joke on the spot, i.e., seven more than me:
  • One to establish the fitting and voltage,
  • one to compile a report investigating the pros and cons of 60 watt and 100 watt units,
  • One to arrange the formatting of the report with nice little bullet points
  • one to prepare the route to the hardware shop twenty-four hours in advance,
  • one to melt down in B&Q and return empty-handed,
  • one to design and construct a bran new bulb,
  • one to hoard the burnt out bulbs and,
  • oh s**t, one to make sure the light switch is in the off position


_________________
"grrrrr"


Phonic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.

25 Apr 2011, 11:17 pm

Veronica wrote:
"Alternative answer: One, but if there are more aspies than that in the room, they'll stand about awkwardly for a while before holding a committee about who should change it."

This answer could also apply to the question:

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?


i notice your avatar, *salute comrade*

How many aspergers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None- theres no need, there's a lightbulb above our heads all the time.


_________________
'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'.


pascalflower
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 94
Location: Phoenix,AZ

26 Apr 2011, 12:10 am

Q: How many people with asperger's syndrome does it take to change a light bulb?

A: (5)
One to notice that things look very dark.
Another to notice the bulb.
Another to change the bulb.
Another to notice that there's light again, and finally,
the 5th Aspie noticed that the 4 other Aspies had been in the room the whole time - hadn't noticed them before.



SammichEater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,903

26 Apr 2011, 12:16 am

None. The aspie will just take off his/her sunglasses.


_________________
Remember, all atrocities begin in a sensible place.


jackmt
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2011
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 116
Location: Missoula, MT

17 Dec 2011, 2:10 am

ShiwanKhan wrote:
Q: How many people with aspergers syndrome does it take to change a lightbulb?





A: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97, 101...

Is this your final answer or your primary one?



jamieevren1210
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,290
Location: 221b Baker St... (OKAY! Taipei!! Grunt)

17 Dec 2011, 5:16 am

Voxsolemnis wrote:
Q: How many people with Asperger's does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. We make the neurotypicals do it.

... or....

Q: How many people with Asperger's does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. We don't need to change any lightbulb. We are the lightbulb.


Haha lol



ediself
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,202
Location: behind you!!!

17 Dec 2011, 6:11 am

"how many aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"at least 10: 5 to define "change"and 5 to define "lightbulb""



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

17 Dec 2011, 8:12 am

I'm sure I made up one like that before.

But it's still good.


_________________
Female


dogslife
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 266

17 Dec 2011, 11:56 am

Knock Knock.
"Sh*t, someone's at the door? Oh god. Oh god."



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

17 Dec 2011, 12:03 pm

dogslife wrote:
Knock Knock.
"Sh*t, someone's at the door? Oh god. Oh god."


:lol: +100!


_________________
Female


SyphonFilter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,161
Location: The intersection of Inkopolis’ Plaza & Square where the Turf Wars lie.

17 Dec 2011, 12:15 pm

dogslife wrote:
Knock Knock.
"Sh*t, someone's at the door? Oh god. Oh god."
"What the f**k do I do? C'mon, breathe, breathe, think, think..."



b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

17 Dec 2011, 12:26 pm

history_of_psychiatry wrote:
Q: How many people with asperger's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


no one can screw in a light bulb because there are no light bulbs big enough to screw in.
i can not fit inside any light bulb, and nor can anyone who i wish to make love with fit inside a light bulb, so i can not screw in a light bulb (as if i would want to anyway).



ediself
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,202
Location: behind you!!!

17 Dec 2011, 12:39 pm

b9 wrote:
history_of_psychiatry wrote:
Q: How many people with asperger's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


no one can screw in a light bulb because there are no light bulbs big enough to screw in.
i can not fit inside any light bulb, and nor can anyone who i wish to make love with fit inside a light bulb, so i can not screw in a light bulb (as if i would want to anyway).


Lol that's a good one: let's make it a joke.
Q: How many people with asperger's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just a couple , but they'd have to be really tiny!



TellEmSteveDave
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 8 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 274
Location: Night Vale

17 Dec 2011, 6:15 pm

how many methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?

two! one to change the lightbulb and another to admire the puritan simplicity of a white light!



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

17 Dec 2011, 7:05 pm

If I were in that room, I would talk nonstop about how Thomas Edison was not the real inventor of the light bulb (about half a dozen of inventors made it before EDIson, and he probably stole the idea from Heinrich Göbel and Joseph Swan), and how he was a greedy thief who could only steal other people's creations and how I think he should have died in a very slow and painful way because of how he treated Nikola Tesla. Preferably, by my own hands.

I would eventually screw in the light bulb.