Opinion: Dating Sites Don’t Work

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

13 Feb 2013, 2:59 am

For me, dating websites have been a great help and I appreciate what they have done for me. Sure, there are positives and negatives when it comes to dating websites but you have to be prepared to make an effort if you want to get somewhere. It allows people on the spectrum to create an attraction over the internet which can transfer in real life.

What I have got from dating sites - Sex, oral sex, making out with a lot of girls, sex on a first date, women paying for dates, women travelling over 30 miles to meet me, friends.

For me personally, dating websites have been a success so I will speak positively about them but once again, there are many factors, what worked for me might not work for others.

People can lie, sure but what's to say that someone isn't going to be dishonest because you have met them in a bar or club? Somebody isn't active or online? Message someone who is.



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

13 Feb 2013, 3:00 am

Oh, I don't know. I've met people in the past. I met one guy who fell in love with me years ago. I didn't understand his fascination with me because I'm nobody, still...



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Feb 2013, 3:04 am

I do speak positively about dating sites and have been a good help too.

But I've stumbled on a lot of negatives as well.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 13 Feb 2013, 3:08 am, edited 2 times in total.

Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

13 Feb 2013, 3:06 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I do speak positively about dating sites and have been a good help too.

But I've stumbled a lot of negatives too.


There are positives and negatives about real life approaching, you could get a number in real life and it could turn out to be flaky and you have less time to build a connection. Dating websites give you the chance to build a connection over the computer and someone won't notice you are on the spectrum at first.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Feb 2013, 3:08 am

I am trying to go more offline - I am re-seeing a girl I've met offline earlier.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Feb 2013, 3:18 am

Wolfheart wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I do speak positively about dating sites and have been a good help too.

But I've stumbled a lot of negatives too.


There are positives and negatives about real life approaching, you could get a number in real life and it could turn out to be flaky and you have less time to build a connection.



Ahh yes, I've got a number once and she blocked my texting just right after the first hi (and yes, it was her nb) - probably it's a technique to rule out guys quickly without rejecting upfront or dealing with insisting guys.


Quote:
Dating websites give you the chance to build a connection over the computer and someone won't notice you are on the spectrum at first.


This connection is not real in most cases though, unless it's purely sexual.



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

13 Feb 2013, 3:19 am

May as well keep trying online though, if you have the time. You just might meet someone. The author doesn't deny that. I don't think it's wasting time if you aren't doing it in lieu of other options.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Feb 2013, 3:27 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
May as well keep trying online though, if you have the time. You just might meet someone. The author doesn't deny that. I don't think it's wasting time if you aren't doing it in lieu of other options.


It can be pretty time consuming though.

I've changed a bit of my strategy: instead of trying to seeing several women simultaneously, I am going more serial, meaning investing more time with one woman at a time.



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

13 Feb 2013, 3:32 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
May as well keep trying online though, if you have the time.


I think most on here do. I have yet to see anybody on L&D say that they temporarily deactivated their OKcupid profile for a month or two. Even though being able to temporarily deactivate it for as long as you want is one of the only redeeming features of that dumb site. Seems like people on here either use their profile constantly or delete it altogether.

If you deactivate your profile you have to wait at least a week before you can re-activate it again. It appears deleted to everyone else though.



Last edited by Venger on 13 Feb 2013, 4:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Feb 2013, 3:36 am

Venger wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
May as well keep trying online though, if you have the time.


I think most on here do. I have yet to see anybody on L&D say that they temporarily deactivated their OKcupid profile for a month or two. Even though being able to temporarily deactivate it for as long as you want is one of the only redeeming features of that dumb site. Seems like people on here either use their profile constantly or delete it altogether.


I've set it once to 'seeing someone' with a note for two weeks "I am seeing someone right now, sorry fans!".



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

13 Feb 2013, 4:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
http://livinglifewithoutanet.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/dating-sites-dont-work/

He has a point.


The title should be 'Dating Sites Don't Work - For Me'

He can't speak for everyone else

I've met a number of compatible people via dating sites

I don't like going out to 'coffee shops' and making eyes at strangers, so that route is a non-starter for me

One size does not fit all but the type of people who write articles like this are usually arrogant extroverts who think what works for them must by definition work for everyone

Don't tell me, has he done another article called 'Think your way out of depression - anyone can do it'?

Always look at the source of these articles - they are attention seekers every time and in no position to be dictating to
the shy and the lonely

it's an article on a Blog too! :roll:

'My marvellous thoughts on life that I know you're all dying to hear!'