Anyone else have no interest in socializing?

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Allagash
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16 Feb 2013, 8:34 pm

I'm sitting in my college dorm write now alone on a saturday night. This is the exact same thing I've done pretty much every night this entire school year. I absolutely despise small talk and usually feel exhausted when I'm around people. I have no friends at college and only a few back at home. To be honest, I don't even really like hanging out with my friends at home that much. I'm perfectly content sitting here by myself and am not sad or depressed or anything like that. However, I feel like if I told my family or pretty much anyone that I spend 99% of my time by myself they would think that there is something seriously wrong with me. Anyone else feel similar?



pawnstorm
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16 Feb 2013, 9:02 pm

I'm going through a similar situation as you (except for being unsatisfied with how I'm living my life).

Eh, it could possibly be that you're in denial of your situation (i.e. "given up" on maintaining social life and feel it's not worth the effort). Personally, I always believed happiness comes from other people. As social primates, our brains are hardwired to want social acceptance.
However, if it's truly how you feel, what you're describing sounds like being an introvert (one who's content with being alone) rather than a person with social inhibitions. Seeing that you're in college, there should be some counselor/therapist that you could talk to (as hard as it may seem). I did 4 years into college, and that's when I finally found out I had anxiety issues (I was blind to many things about myself for 21 years).



bethmc
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16 Feb 2013, 9:12 pm

People are exhausting and I need time to decompress. Before I got together with my boyfriend (who also needs a lot of alone quiet time) and we moved to the country, sometimes I'd wish I had my own room just to go to be alone.

I think people mistake "being alone" with "being lonely" - they're two very distinct concepts.
I don't mind being alone - I like my company.
People who are afraid to be alone are often very lonely people who NEED other people to validate them.

If you like being alone, then be alone.
Don't worry how others view your situation - you're the one who's living it, right? :)



hey_there
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16 Feb 2013, 9:40 pm

Yeah, I have interest in socializing either. I actually kind of feel uncomfortable around others.


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RaspberryFrosty
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16 Feb 2013, 11:53 pm

I'm more comfortable being by myself rather than socializing with other people. I don't like socializing with people my age. I'm more comfortable around older people.



ASDsmom
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16 Feb 2013, 11:57 pm

Ditto, that.

I don't think being social is for everyone. I like being social to a point but find the majority of my time, is better spent doing my own thing. Having said that, I do enjoy spending time with my wife and son. I also enjoy spending time alone. That's me and I have the right to choose how I want to live my life - and in comfort.



hey_there
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16 Feb 2013, 11:58 pm

RaspberryFrosty wrote:
I'm more comfortable being by myself rather than socializing with other people. I don't like socializing with people my age. I'm more comfortable around older people.
me too.


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Beef_n00dles
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17 Feb 2013, 1:39 am

I feel like I could go weeks without any interaction with other people and I'd be fine. It's difficult to want to put up with all the little rules of social discourse. I'm not saying people are easy to offend in general, but before you say anything you always have to be very careful about what you might be implying about yourself and others. Also there is the vast scope of potential subjects on my mind that would be of no real interest to the average person, I'm not kidding myself in believing other people are interested in such things. Why confide all of these personal musings in them when I can just think it over in my own head alone in a quiet tranquil setting and completely understand the conception of every new idea.

Most people lack a variety of interests, there is little diversity in the general population. I'm not criticizing what they are interested in, but I have a feeling that the lack of variety is due to a sacrifice they made. Wanting to relate to more friends, as opposed to fitting their interests to their personalities. Again I don't make value judgments on trade-offs like this, because from my perspective, I know I don't have the same innate values to judge from.



chlov
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17 Feb 2013, 8:10 am

I don't want to socialize with most people, because they all seem boring to me.
But depends on the person. There are two persons at the moment I would like to socialize with. I don't care about other people.



whatamess
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18 Feb 2013, 2:01 pm

I think sometimes it is best. I would rather be alone, love to work on things on my computer, read, listen to music.
I do love spending time with my husband and son and SOME friends. Most people drive me insane. Funny, it is those who constantly put me down the ones who complain the most about me not wanting to be around other people.

At this point, I am glad you wrote this and I see others feel the same. No doubt I will stay alone, NEVER lonely, from now on. If people don't like it, too bad.



DinoMongoosePenguin
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02 Feb 2016, 12:36 pm

I don't have much of one. I can talk online a lot.



Summer_Twilight
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02 Feb 2016, 1:36 pm

I like to socialize but if it's a small group of people such as my own friends who I am comfortable with. I also enjoy going to connecting if it's a special interest group where I things in common with the other people. I also like to socialize with my colleagues because they are accepting.

Though I look like an extrovert I am more of an introvert because I spend most of my time at home reading fanfics, hanging on my computer and watching movies at home. Especially on Saturday night.



LaetiBlabla
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02 Feb 2016, 2:21 pm

hey_there wrote:
Yeah, I have interest in socializing either. I actually kind of feel uncomfortable around others.


I like to be alone. I never get bored alone.

But the more i am alone, the more it is difficult to socialize. And sometimes, you need to be able to socialize because you are a bit obliged to.

That is why am looking for some motivation to socialize.
Your post suggests that you like it, hence my asking. What do you get out of it? (maybe you just like it, can also be)

(question is open to all who would have ideas)


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whatamess
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02 Feb 2016, 4:40 pm

Me. For too many years I tried and was just abused and used by most people. Sick of people. I couldn't see their motives before, I was incredibly naive (many real friends told me this)...now that I see how they play their game, I can't stand most people. I have just maybe 2-3 friends whom I consider good people, the rest I can't stand. No more playing games for me. Focusing on me, my son and the very few good friends. No more helping anyone. No more putting up with their envy.



shane113h
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08 Feb 2016, 3:38 am

Hello,

I also don't feel the need to socialize, I find my company more comforting.


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