f0rced into a new dorm

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As you know, I have posted before on these forums about the problem of my dorm room being filled with a roommate's pot smoke (I do not smoke pot due to family history of dependence on drugs; I'm sure pot feels great). Well, my parents recognized the problem and made arrangements to move me to another dorm room. Unfortunately, they did not sign me up for the one I wanted (and did so without allowing me any input into the decision): a one--person studio. The dorm room they chose for me is in the dorms I moved out of after my freshman year because of noise, the honors dorms. (It's not just me; other people who live there say it's loud). This is known as a party floor, too.

I found it interesting that my dad was receptive to the housing director's overtures to the honors dorms, yet knew I had rejected all that before when I decided to change dorms after my freshman year, and failed to tell that to the housing director as he made the overtures. I wonder what the housing director would have recommended for me had he known that I had previously decided to leave the honors dorm.

It's true that the one-person studio suite cost $250 more, but my dad said that /that/ wasn't the reason why I couldn't go there. (I even offered to pay the difference out of my own pocket.)

He said it was because he felt that without any roomates, I would not have ample social interaction. To paraphrase, he feels that I have not yet met adequate socialization. Since I have made, in my opinion, what has been tremendous social progress in the past several months (you know: getting a job, making good grades, making new friendly acquaintances and work and school), I had to ask him: "Do you think I have actually regressed socially?" He replied that he thought I had stayed the same, neither improving nor getting worse.

Stayed the same?

i guess i'm ranting because my parents are not giving me responsibility and are trying their own methods to improve my social life, even as those same things have failed in the past. what i need are social skills classes and more life skills. (i've mentioned asperger's in passing to my parents but they didn't pick up on it.) i need more immersion into my interest, computer science, in order to feel more accomplished. I don't want to come across as one of those people who uses a disability as a metaphorical crutch. But I seriously feel that if I get a diagnosis, I will have more influence over decisions involving my own life; that, to me, is independence and not relying on a crutch.

What year are you in college? I'm not saying that should have any bearing on your parents' ability to decide for you, now that you're in college if it isn't a financial issue and they don't mind you should be able to make your own decisions. EDIT: Don't mind paying. That one word changes the meaning entirely >_<

I can sort of understand where your father was coming from. I can appreciate what his fears are. At the same time, I can't say I agree with his conclusion.

My first year in college, I was in one of the largest all-male dorms on the east coast. It smelled. It was loud. People played beer pong three, four nights a week. My roommate didn't have class til 11, so stayed up until 3am. Playing minesweeper.... One of the loudest mouse buttons ever.

That being said, it did force me to interact. I may not have entirely enjoyed it, but I was forced to learn a few things. If your father is hoping for this kind of situation, that's somewhat understandable.

My second year up until now (my 5th year), I've been in a 1 person apartment. This might sound (to your parents at least) like a horrible thing for someone that doesn't interact all that well. My parents had some fear of this as well. At the same time, it allowed me to, when I wanted, have that privacy and quiet. The "detriment" of not having social interaction forced upon me also turned out to be completely bogus.

I know five or six people in my apartment building. On pretty good terms with all of them, good friends with a few. I have people just walk into my apartment daily to sit around, talk, whatever. If that gets to be too much, I can simply lock the door.

Living alone does not doom you to be isolated. It merely gives you the option to isolate yourself if the need arises. This can be a benefit. If you overuse it, then it can be a detriment, at least in the eyes of your parents. If you can convince them that this wouldn't be the case, they may be more willing to listen for future years.

I might physicaly hurt someone if forced to live in a dorm. Even as a kid my mom steared clear of the chance of me having to share a room with another girl because the night would end with them seriously injured or worse.