Got asked out on a date- still worried

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balletnerd
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20 Feb 2013, 6:17 pm

Guy I spent ages working up courage to ask out, goes asks me out instead over phone. see him in person today. Ive gone shy can barely talk or make eye contact with him.

worried he'll chnge his mind. i never used to be that bad years ago when dating so why have i gone so strange over this one?

He knows about my aspergers but i dont think hes seen the full remit of my weirdness. how do you alleviate these worries?



Geekonychus
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21 Feb 2013, 8:47 am

Don't try so hard. If he likes you for you (and it seems like he does if he's asking you out) he should be fine with your wierdness. If he doesn't than he's not right for you anyway.



Wolfheart
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21 Feb 2013, 8:57 am

balletnerd wrote:
Guy I spent ages working up courage to ask out, goes asks me out instead over phone. see him in person today. Ive gone shy can barely talk or make eye contact with him.

worried he'll chnge his mind. i never used to be that bad years ago when dating so why have i gone so strange over this one?

He knows about my aspergers but i dont think hes seen the full remit of my weirdness. how do you alleviate these worries?


You have most likely reinforced insecurities towards how you are perceived by others because of how you are, you need to realize why you are having those insecurities, assert yourself and let things flow naturally. Focus more having fun with him, once you are both having fun or do a shared activity, you will soon forget about those insecurities.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Feb 2013, 9:00 am

balletnerd wrote:
Guy I spent ages working up courage to ask out, goes asks me out instead over phone. see him in person today. Ive gone shy can barely talk or make eye contact with him.

worried he'll chnge his mind. i never used to be that bad years ago when dating so why have i gone so strange over this one?

He knows about my aspergers but i dont think hes seen the full remit of my weirdness. how do you alleviate these worries?


Guys usually don't flake, so be assured that the date will happen at least. Who makes the first move usually doesn't flake - it's illogical otherwise.



MXH
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21 Feb 2013, 11:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
Guy I spent ages working up courage to ask out, goes asks me out instead over phone. see him in person today. Ive gone shy can barely talk or make eye contact with him.

worried he'll chnge his mind. i never used to be that bad years ago when dating so why have i gone so strange over this one?

He knows about my aspergers but i dont think hes seen the full remit of my weirdness. how do you alleviate these worries?


Guys usually don't flake, so be assured that the date will happen at least. Who makes the first move usually doesn't flake - it's illogical otherwise.

This is what I was to say, it doesn't make sense for someone to flake. Especially not a guy asking you out. I could see a middle school prank going like this but you're not in middle school, so I don't see it going bad



BlueMax
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21 Feb 2013, 12:02 pm

RELAX!! (seriously!)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWePWdF0tXk[/youtube]



balletnerd
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21 Feb 2013, 7:15 pm

ha ha. love Arnie :-)

Quote:
you need to realize why you are having those insecurities

thats an easy one to answer. did the online dating thing for a while and really sucked at it. Even when i replaced some not very good photos with much better ones and got lots of hits all i got was lots of first dates and not one second one. one of them said i was a bit too "bohemian" for him - not entirely sure what that meant. I attributed my lack of success to my difficulty with initiating and sustaining "light" conversation. They say never talk about religion, politics or sex on the first date I almost always talk about the first two given the fact that ive had special interests in those subject areas before.

Having analysed the situation more logically this is not one of those online dating things. Hes known me 2 years so i guess he must have seen a fair bit of weirdness from me during that time. i did talk at him for nearly an hour once about some stuff i learnt on behavioural psychology so he must at least be comfortable with how i communicate.

maybe i ought not to be so negative about the aspie stuff - some of you guys are quite comfortable about with how you are with aspergers, I wish I could get to that stage. I can't help getting excited over my weird and wonderful interests I just hope he does too.

he sent me some nice texts today :-)



balletnerd
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23 Feb 2013, 4:56 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3kdxfEQhCs[/youtube]

I have my Sheldon. The date went well. I'm all fuzzy headed...