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SINsister
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28 Feb 2013, 12:50 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
they talk to them...


Aye, right - but, for the sake of discussion, what compels a person to select one person to talk to over another one? I don't get this at all. To me, most people look pretty damn boring, unless there's something about them that I find visually compelling (which I've stated previously).

So I don't understand how I'd select "that" guy/girl to talk to over "that other" one. Do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm just the craziest/least human Aspie here. :?

Image


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28 Feb 2013, 12:50 pm

Kurgan wrote:
Venger wrote:
Kurgan wrote:

Ronnie Coleman has an IQ of almost two standard deviations above the norm and a degree in economics. Nasser el-Sonbaty has a master´s degree in history and speaks seven languages. I´ve bought proteins from the former strongest man in Norway (Arild Haugen) before; off the television screen, he actully seemed both friendly and intelligent. Lastly, Frank Zane holds a master´s degree in chemistry and a bachelor´s degree in psychology.


Yeah but do any of them talk in a dumb sounding Austrian accent like Arnold? :doh: :lmao:


He´s been told by his manager not to lose his accent, since it´s a trade mark (the same goes for Van Damme). It´s a common phenomenon; back when WRC was at it´s most popular (when Colin McRae was alive) and Subaru dominated, Petter Solberg (at one time the world champion) was told to speak bad English on purpose, since his accent had become his icon.


Arnold's dumb sounding accent has an obvious humor aspect to it which is exploited in a lot of his movies including the "Terminator" series.



hyperlexian
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28 Feb 2013, 12:53 pm

SINsister wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
they talk to them...


Aye, right - but, for the sake of discussion, what compels a person to select one person to talk to over another one? I don't get this at all. To me, most people look pretty damn boring, unless there's something about them that I find visually compelling (which I've stated previously).

So I don't understand how I'd select "that" guy/girl to talk to over "that other" one. Do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm just the craziest/least human Aspie here. :?

Image

mutual interests, random selection, boredom, etc. how do you normally choose a coworker or friend or acquaintance or family member to talk to amongst the rest?

i actually don't find people that boring. i especially like having random conversations with people when there is no pressure that it has to lead anywhere.


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28 Feb 2013, 1:08 pm

SINsister wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
they talk to them...


Aye, right - but, for the sake of discussion, what compels a person to select one person to talk to over another one? I don't get this at all. To me, most people look pretty damn boring, unless there's something about them that I find visually compelling (which I've stated previously).

So I don't understand how I'd select "that" guy/girl to talk to over "that other" one. Do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm just the craziest/least human Aspie here. :?


Finally someone who is honest and admits that initial attraction is mainly physical and based on looks.



hyperlexian
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28 Feb 2013, 1:14 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
SINsister wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
they talk to them...


Aye, right - but, for the sake of discussion, what compels a person to select one person to talk to over another one? I don't get this at all. To me, most people look pretty damn boring, unless there's something about them that I find visually compelling (which I've stated previously).

So I don't understand how I'd select "that" guy/girl to talk to over "that other" one. Do you see what I mean? Maybe I'm just the craziest/least human Aspie here. :?


Finally someone who is honest and admits that initial attraction is mainly physical and based on looks.

wait a second there - just because your mind can't imagine anything except one type of attraction doesn't make other people's experiences dishonest. not everyone likes the things that you do, or wants whatever-it-is that you are going after. just because appearances are important to you doesn't mean that it is the same for everyone. i think this is probably the 5th time i've said this in the thread, but people are different.


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SINsister
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28 Feb 2013, 1:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
mutual interests, random selection, boredom, etc. how do you normally choose a coworker or friend or acquaintance or family member to talk to amongst the rest?

i actually don't find people that boring. i especially like having random conversations with people when there is no pressure that it has to lead anywhere.


This is a conundrum for me...and in all seriousness, I'm not trying to be flip, rude, or difficult. The bottom line, in my case, is that I don't really want to talk to *anyone*, most of the time.

For example: I play World of Warcraft online. I'm in a guild, which just happens to be the longest-running guild on my server, and has a huge population. There's always random WoW-related convo running in guild chat, as well as random personal-life stuff posted by guild members throughout the course of play.

So, for me, there *is* some incentive to chat with these folks, because I'm a pretty crappy player, and I always need tips and advice. It behooves me to chat socially with other guild members, because I need what they have (in-game knowledge and expertise). The fact that some folks, through the random chatting, have turned out to be people I also find to be funny/intelligent/witty is icing on the cake. But the WoW guild crowd is kind of a captive audience - we're all there for a specific reason, and it's a shared reason, so it works.

Without having spoken to a person, how would you know that you had a mutual interest? If I see someone out in public somewhere who's wearing the t-shirt of a band I love, I at least have a visual cue that that person and I have 1 thing in common (unless that person's one of those folks who wears random tees from Goodwill with a sense of irony - then all bets are off :lol:). If I had the guts, I *might* attempt to start a conversation with that person based on the the band in question (but I probably wouldn't owing to my severe social anxiety), because that could, theoretically, segue into getting to know more about that individual.

I had to actually think about how to answer your question, because social interaction is so stilted for me. In general, I only talk to folks if I need or want something from them. I have no desire to talk to them otherwise. I don't have friends in "real life," and pretty much never have. Folks at uni, people I knew from the goth club I frequented in Chicago, and my now-former co-workers, for example, were "acquaintances." I generally had no interaction with them outside of the venue in question, as we had nothing in common other than the interests that brought us to that venue in the first place.

You know, contemplating and writing about all of this makes me feel even worse about myself, because it proves that I'm an alien. Now I'm even more depressed. :(


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28 Feb 2013, 1:21 pm

Anyone that denies that it's at least somewhat based on physical appearance is a hypocrite. How often do you see ugly women with ugly men if the man isn't extremely shy and insecure? How often do you see ugly men with attractive women unless the man is rich and/or popular?



SINsister
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28 Feb 2013, 1:25 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Finally someone who is honest and admits that initial attraction is mainly physical and based on looks.


Nothing to do with "being honest," man. I'm trying to explain (philosophically, I guess) how it is for me - I'm not negating or upholding any theory or outlook over another.


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28 Feb 2013, 1:32 pm

SINsister wrote:
You know, contemplating and writing about all of this makes me feel even worse about myself, because it proves that I'm an alien. Now I'm even more depressed. :(


:heart:



JanuaryMan
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28 Feb 2013, 1:38 pm

Things I have learned from this topic:

Be handsome
Be attractive
Do not be unattractive



hyperlexian
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28 Feb 2013, 1:41 pm

SINsister, i wouldn't ever start a romantic relationship with a stranger, so... i was talking about how to select an appropriate person to talk to out of existing acquaintances. i don't mind random interactions with strangers, but i'd never date one. it just isn't possible for me to get to know someone in a natural way if they are a unknown like that - i find it offputting and i am not attracted to strangers.

i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.

Kurgan wrote:
Anyone that denies that it's at least somewhat based on physical appearance is a hypocrite.

uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.


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SINsister
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28 Feb 2013, 1:43 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
Things I have learned from this topic:

Be handsome
Be attractive
Do not be unattractive


All in the eye of the beholder, child.

HMM. Speaking of: the Twilight Zone episode of the same name has always been extremely poignant, for me...


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28 Feb 2013, 1:44 pm

I can account for that; I remember this really beautiful and this rather... ahem, ugly woman I used to hang around months ago; when someone said they looked like sisters I was at first outraged on the inside, but after a while and giving them an objective look, I noticed they were quite similar indeed. The difference was that while I really liked the first one, I kinda hated the second one. Physical looks must still play a part somewhere though.


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28 Feb 2013, 1:51 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
Things I have learned from this topic:

Be handsome
Be attractive
Do not be unattractive


Don't forget to lift. Grunt loudly.



JanuaryMan
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28 Feb 2013, 1:53 pm

SINsister wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
Things I have learned from this topic:

Be handsome
Be attractive
Do not be unattractive


All in the eye of the beholder, child.

HMM. Speaking of: the Twilight Zone episode of the same name has always been extremely poignant, for me...


I think I know the episode. This will also stick with me:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4uTEEOJlM[/youtube]



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28 Feb 2013, 1:56 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
SINsister, i wouldn't ever start a romantic relationship with a stranger, so... i was talking about how to select an appropriate person to talk to out of existing acquaintances. i don't mind random interactions with strangers, but i'd never date one. it just isn't possible for me to get to know someone in a natural way if they are a unknown like that - i find it offputting and i am not attracted to strangers.

i don't have a lot of friends either, so i understand that issue. i had a lot more when i was younger. i met my boyfriend here on WrongPlanet.

Kurgan wrote:
Anyone that denies that it's at least somewhat based on physical appearance is a hypocrite.

uhhhhh no. different people are... different. people have varying degrees to which appearance is important, and even people who DO care a lot about appearance might prefer a different look than what you happen to like. it's not hypocritical if people have other criteria than you.


Hyperlexian, you're not getting it still, most of the people on these forums don't have acquaintances or friends as you put it. The only thing they can rely on in getting with another person is by meeting a stranger on the street or on a dating website.