Men VS. Women - why are we so mean?

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I'm new here, and I've been perusing around the Forums...just to see what's what.

I've noticed that there are some mixed feelings between the men and the women.

Coming from a family where I was the youngest (I'm a girl) and I have two older brothers...I tend to gravitate towards men more for friendships. I don't quite know what it is, but women (everywhere) are more "competitive" the older we get, and I can't really be bothered with much of that....maybe they're just NT's that are competitive (I don't know what "NT" means, but I'm pretty sure I'm using it in the correct context).

I don't like games (from men OR women), mostly because I don't know how to "play".

With all that said, in some of these discussions, I've noticed that women are "attacking" the men, as well as the men are "attacking" the women...in no particular order.

I can't say I'm on anyone's "side", because I prefer to get all the information first, THEN come up with my own opinions or conclusions.

I guess what I'm getting at is, "Can't we all just get along?" I mean, aren't we all here for basically the same thing? We have been touched by Asperger's Syndrome in one way or another, and we're here to connect with other Asp people.

Please stop the bickering....we're all adults.

Thank you,

Jen

Well, I suppose being new that you're taking us waaayyy more seriously than we intend to be taken. Of course there's tension between the sexes here, as on any forum. And a bit of fingerpointing. But really we all love one another (in an online platonic sense) and respect each other's opinions. It's a difficult situation when a man has reached the age of 25 or so, and never had a date. He's likely to be a little miffed at the ladies because to him, they get asked out. But the ASpie gals say they don't get asked out (very much) because they're different, and NT guys pick up on that right off.

So I would ask, without naming names, what bickering do you refer to ???

I guess it's because I went to the Women's only page, and then to the Men's only page, and I was looking around and found Locked posts, etc.

People get real nasty (mean) here towards each other. I take it with a grain of salt...that is, until someone tries to "attack" ME! Of course, I've already apologized to one person...just because we all sound different in a note than what our brains mean to say.

Jen

p.s. WHAT DOES "NT" MEAN?

NT means (you really are a newbie, aren't you?) NeuroTypical, which refers to anyone who's not on the Autistic Spectrum.

Ahem, how to spot an NT: go to a used car lot, the people who run up to you trying to get you to buy a car are NTs, go to football game, stand outside, and the people who wear their team colors, shout team slogans, paint their faces team colors, are NT.

Thank you. I wouldn't have even thought of that.

I was leaning more towards Not T____ (I have no IDEA! That's why I asked!)

as for sports (and all that goes along with it...), I'd rather play sports than watch.

I don't play sports, however. Not since I was a teenager.

Oh well.

Jen

I think that we should all remember why we're here and stop bickering against each other. I also find everybody seems to be pitted against eachother, as well, reguardless of gender.

I have not looked at either the women or mens forum in awhile but they are basically
useless. The women forum is there because some women pestered the admins for it.
The mens forum is there so the men would not cry about the women having a forum and not the men. There a bad idea and since you got the impression of conflict between the sexes reading them that confirms it. Though I'm allways abit curious when new members first few post are complaining about WP.

The "WP"? Is that the Women's Page?

I'm not only new, but I don't really go to forums or blogs or posts.

I only know a few things like, LOL and...uh...well...I think that's all I know (oh, now I know what NT stands for too!). I'd prefer to spell out "ha ha ha", just because I think it's funnier.

And so, if you're asking about my "complaining about the wp", well, I've actually posted a lot on other forums. I can't remember if I DID post something on there...but I don't think I was complaining...just commenting like everyone else.

Jen

?

Attacking individuals is unacceptable. Attacking ideas is just part of the nature of forums. Attacking groups is… tolerated to an extent. A certain amount of men-bashing goes on in the Women’s Forum and a certain amount of women-bashing goes on in the Men’s Forum. People need a safe place to vent that stuff. When they go too far, threads are locked.

It’s true we’re all adults, except for the teenagers and kids, but we’re all developmentally delayed adults, though I prefer the term “late bloomer.” There’s a wide range of levels of emotional development here. Part of what we try to do here is help further people’s development.

I think a lot of it comes from the social problems Aspies face. The males for the most part are inept at dating, many having no experience with women at all so this angers them and they take out their anger on all women. The women fight back because we don't like being attacked verbally and the whole thing snowballs from there. I think this is also why you see fewer women on the boards. They get offended and leave.

**TICKER said: I think a lot of it comes from the social problems Aspies face. The males for the most part are inept at dating, many having no experience with women at all so this angers them and they take out their anger on all women. The women fight back because we don't like being attacked verbally and the whole thing snowballs from there. I think this is also why you see fewer women on the boards. They get offended and leave.

What's funny to ME about this is...from what I've been reading...we ALL have messed up experiences with dating. Not just the men.

and, EVERYONE fights back when they feel like they're being attacked verbally. That's part of ASP!

**MRMARK said: "late bloomers"

Whenever anyone has EVER said this, I get a mental picture of bloomers (undergarments from the 1800's - early 1900's)...or a flower that hasn't opened yet....but usually it's the bloomers.

Yes, I know that's an Asp thing. Its just funny.

**For THEMACHINE1: You've quoted me out of context.

When I said that I don't really go to forums or blogs or posts...I meant, I'm new at computer speak...AND when I said that I've actually posted a lot on other forums...I meant on THIS website.

LOL

get it?

Thanks for playing.

Jen

WP = Wrongplanet. Or just incase you're an NT.....THIS SITE!

A girl whose on the boys' side, that's Awesome! Lol.. Actually we're all on the same side. But it's interesting that any of the few female friends I had in the past, have always been the kind who hang with the guys and can't stand typical female traits like the 'competition' thing & being nasty to each other, etc.. What's also interesting is many consider AS to be like having an extreme male mind, because of the overly logical thought patterns. Although I think that statement is untrue, lots look at it that way. The bigger problem is the social norms stuff, which men & women here all suffer, so let's just be full of love for each other, yeah?

I haven't seen the posts you're talking about, but I had some thoughts on a more general level about women being competitive with each other. One reason might be biology: as women get older, their hormones are telling them to find a mate and have a baby. This is exactly what happened to me when I went back to full-time work after being on maternity leave and working part time during the 2½ years after my daughter was born. When I started work, I couldn't understand why I felt so competitive with the other women in the office. I also noticed that I was subconsciously checking out the guys around me (even though I'm already married). It finally hit me that my daughter had weaned the previous summer, and my hormones were changing and telling me that it was time to have another baby. Biology is definitely a force to be reckoned with, but I think a lot of people, Aspie and NT alike, tend to forget it exists.