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Parents Getting Angry Over Grades

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Chronos
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08 Feb 2018, 10:39 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
I'm sure you've heard people at school say: "If I get a bad grade, my mom/dad will be pissed!" Now have any of you questioned why some parents get angry over their kids' bad grades? My parents did all the time, which resulted in in constant fear over what grades I'm going to get. (Now imagine living with that fear from 1st thru 12th grade, as well as dealing with the bullying.) Ranting and raving aside, can someone here (parents, maybe?) give me reasons? Yeah, I know; the parents want the best future for their children, but why does angry have to enter the equation? It seems like some sort of an ego trip; if they can't make their kids do well in school, then they're bad parents. But why is there even a connection between bad grades and anger? To me, it seems equivalent to getting angry about one's dog not being able to perform tricks.

To summize: why, as a parent, would someone get angry when his or her child get a bad grade?


My parents didn't care about grades as long as we could read and write and do some math. My siblings and I were typically above average in performance so my parents didn't worry much.



aikoinazuma
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17 Feb 2018, 4:15 pm

I am going to break somewhat with what other people are saying here. I'd say that a parent who is angry over a kid's grades alone has mental issues. There are many reasons why a child gets bad grades and it's not always the child's fault. I had bad teachers when I was in school; quite honestly most of them should have been fired or put somewhere away from the classroom as they were bullies and/or inept at teaching to make a long story short. For the parents who get angry over bad grades you really need to get help, psychiatric help, and no, the tough love thing doesn't work - that can come back to haunt you later.


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Aspie1
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21 Feb 2018, 11:00 am

aikoinazuma wrote:
I am going to break somewhat with what other people are saying here. I'd say that a parent who is angry over a kid's grades alone has mental issues.

I think "mental issues" is going too far. But I'd say it's something called the "Tamagotchi factor". That is, parents want to be able to say: "Look what I can produce with my child by pushing the right buttons at the right time!" And when proverbial Tamagotchi doesn't produce the expected results, despite the efforts put in (like checking his/her homework and limiting TV time), angry feelings ensue on the parents' part. It's basically the adult version of crying when your Tamagotchi pet dies.

In my case, anger over my grades was presented under the guise of "caring about me" :roll:. So stupid me tried to get my parents to "care less" by deliberately misbehaving and underachieving in school, hoping to frustrate them into giving up on me. Ironically, those actions only made them "care more" :(.



kraftiekortie
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21 Feb 2018, 11:03 am

Many times, parents just want kids to succeed.

Sometimes, there are things which cause the kid to not get good grades----it could be such distractions as girlfriends and peer pressure.

It's true: sometimes, it could be the fault of the teachers, too.

I wouldn't punish the kid. I would investigate the reasons why.



Benjamin the Donkey
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02 Mar 2018, 9:15 pm

I always got perfect grades till 6th grade, when things started to fall apart for me. Then low grades meant enormous trouble low for it at home as well. If my kids get low grades, I'm concerned and try to find out why, but I know there are there are plenty of possible reasons.


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Indominus
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14 Mar 2018, 4:35 pm

I suppose parents get upset over bad grades because their child didn't put much effort or they're afraid that they wasted their money's worth at an institution that they thought that they considered the best, but overtime, they realized that it was a scam. Either one or the other.