Losing my mind over the need for affection

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Lonermutant
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11 Mar 2013, 3:06 pm

Kaufmancab51 wrote:

I'm not quite sure how to feel about love anymore. The term "relationship" has lost its meaning, and has become a transparent word in my region of New York state.

The difficulty to even find such a thing is substantial. It also doesn't help the fact that I don't try at all.

The potential dates at this college, swept away by the bastard with skinny jeans and fancy clothes, or the guy who isn't worth a dime to society.

And yet I'm sitting here typing away at this, bitching and moaning about how I can't get a date.

If I wasn't on the verge of insanity because of deep thoughts of loneliness that cloud my brain whenever something positive comes in, maybe I'd be less bitchy. If I didn't have the ability to have the need for affection, I wouldn't be on the brink of insanity. If I never felt the need for a woman's touch so bad, If, IF, IF...

And yet i'm still here, typing away.

I don't want to lose my mind over the need for affection. I don't want to be a desperate man (by the looks of things, I may be near the brink of that too). I don't want to lower my standards and hire a hooker. I'm a 20 year old virgin, the last among my friends, and that pressure to have someone or to have sex should not cloud my mind.

What is wrong with me...I don't think love is meant for me. Am I bound to be a virgin till death, roaming about single until I am dead?

Accept that you're not lonely, but that you're solitary. As a person with Autism you are not created to have relationships or to marry.

Kaufmancab51
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11 Mar 2013, 11:38 pm

Lonermutant wrote:

Accept that you're not lonely, but that you're solitary. As a person with Autism you are not created to have relationships or to marry.

I refuse to accept this, i'm more than just a person with autism, i am a human being for god's sake, and i have the right to feel this way. Human beings have emotions for a reason. Why can't I struggle trying to find an answer to stop me from going insane? Am I not supposed to feel? Am I supposed to be a machine? I am NOT a machine! I'm capable of having these emotions.

Before you try to brainwash me with this ideal that i am supposed to accept something because you couldn't do any goddamn thing about your situation, don't try and put thoughts in my head.

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Lonermutant
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12 Mar 2013, 1:14 am

Kaufmancab51 wrote:

Lonermutant wrote:

Accept that you're not lonely, but that you're solitary. As a person with Autism you are not created to have relationships or to marry.

No I believe that one day you will grow up and accept the advantages of never marrying or having kids.

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Kaufmancab51
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12 Mar 2013, 6:31 pm

Lonermutant wrote:

No I believe that one day you will grow up and accept the advantages of never marrying or having kids.

Marriage is out of the question, but what if I do want to have kids and endure the challenge of raising one? So what if I have a meltdown every time I can't do the task of being a father, that's where trial and error comes in. I'm not giving up trying to find a way, damnit!

Am I going to hurt myself in the end? You damn right I am! If I can handle this much pain, that makes me a stronger human being.

I don't want to turn this into a flame war or anything that causes this thread to lock up, but for god's sake, throwing out a "cop-out solution" is a really bad idea.

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auntblabby
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12 Mar 2013, 6:35 pm

there are already over 7 billion souls on this long-suffering orb, why add any more anytime soon?

Kaufmancab51
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12 Mar 2013, 6:42 pm

Well I'd consider that an option if and when the time comes. Part of that last rant was because I cannot live with the idea of roaming alone forever on this planet. I refuse to accept that as a reality. I don't care how much of other people's experiences dictate that in the end it "will" happen. My personal experience is the final factor in my life.

I think i've already fallen over the cliff...

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auntblabby
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12 Mar 2013, 6:59 pm

^^^
i won't begrudge you your hope, so i sincerely hope you clamber back up over the edge of the cliff.

Infiltrait0rN7
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13 Mar 2013, 11:56 am

When I was young, I found it so easy to attract people, but nowadays I just have no confidence, and feel like I have nothing to offer anyone. This feeling has been prevalent for the past two years now and I don't actually think I can pull my way out of it either. So I know how you feel, mate.

FireoftheStorm
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13 Mar 2013, 4:35 pm

Okay, misanthropes, stop being so misanthropic. From: the misanthrope.
You could try looking up different ways to attract women. Practice. Either on a mirror or with a friend (I know most will use a mirror)
I'd say ease up a bit - working on it myself. I may be not so into therapy, but self-improvement is a human must for every person to grow up.
I'd also say most who give up remain somewhat childish.
Don't Panic - it will put you above 99% of society.

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auntblabby
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13 Mar 2013, 11:12 pm

ok then, i'm childish.

Kaufmancab51
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18 Mar 2013, 5:31 pm

bumping my own topic here, but I'm not sure if I can figure out the solution to this issue. I keep going in a loop that I can't get out of. Maybe I'm just insanely blind, but I always seem to talk to women who are already in a prior relationship, and those that are potential mates I tend to shy away from, especially when they hang around a bunch of guy friends (I don't feel comfortable trying to talk to women when they're around a bunch of guys because I don't want to overwhelm them with a bunch of guy friends).

I keep putting myself in (I guess you could say) a state of limbo, where I'm pushing and pulling but I'm just putting myself back in the middle.

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starkid
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18 Mar 2013, 10:04 pm

FireoftheStorm wrote:

As another note: I read somewhere that women are psychologically considered adults at ~18-20 years old. Men are psychologically considered adults at aroud mid-20's. There is a reason older men date younger women.

lol. That is not the reason. Eroticization of youth and the relative easiness of fooling younger women are the reasons.

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