I may be ready to give up.

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The al-Anon meetings that I have been to were pretty small groups. Also everyone there has "issues" of one sort or another so I don't feel like I stand out in any way.

Oh, man, I'm so late here...I'm sorry. Starbuline, I've really been enjoying our IM conversations, and I think things CAN improve for you, over time. I care about you. And I would feel awful if you killed yourself. Please...don't do it.

Please don't harm yourself, you're very interesting and nice to talk to. You are so unique and different. You may be an outcast in your local area, but you have good and decent friends on here. I agree with Veresae, things can and will improve. I just stumbled upon this thread, and dreaded what was inside. I think that you need a little bit of time to recover, perhaps a few days away from school if possible. You must talk about it. Stay strong. This world has not gone totally insane. Yet. Most of all, you are a good friend. Damn it if anything happens to you.