Online friend meeting...

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Thanks for all replies. I have decided to remove this story from the board.

Last edited by bchris02 on 14 Jan 2007, 9:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh my God. I feel your pain, dude. I have an online friend who told me exactly the same thing, "You're so clingy Mik and it upsets me." That made me feel really, really shitty. That online friend is pretty much the only person I value very much, as if he were a very close brother and I often consider myself to be very loyal to him. When he gets upset at me for saying stupid things that offend him, I get into a very depressed mode and I find it hard to concentrate in school and I just feel really weak.

What happened to you is exactly what I fear since I'm going to go to the college my friend is going to and I am incredibly nervous about it, although it is still a ways away.

It really is crappy that your meeting ended up ruining your relationship, I know how you feel as it is something that I also aspire to do with the internet friends that I have. I think you have to understand that when you meet someone, it really is the first time that you meet them, although you've been talking to him for so long. It isn't viable to get too comfortable until you've progressed far enough that he'd be okay with you around. But don't blame yourself, it isn't your fault at all, man.

I've had times like that, in the past. I hope things work out for you.

Every friend Ive had since 6th grade has done the same thing. I should have known this would happen. I suspected it would even, I just had the slightest hope that I had a true friend this time.

One of the most painful things that has ever happened to me was being dumped without explanation by a female friend in 1999. I was in my twenties at the time and she was in her 40s. We became fast friends and she even told me that she loved me. We went on trips together because she had friends near where I have family. So we would drive together, she would stay with her friends, I would stay with my family, then we should drive back together.

She started to disappear on me, and she would not answer the phone when I called. I would leave messages and she would not return the call. To this day I don't know why I lost her, I try not to think about it, because it was one of the only times in my life I felt like I had a true friend, and she was my only true female friend of my life. If she came to my door apologizing and asked to be friends again, I would take her back in an instant. I miss her so much, but by this point I'm successful at not thinking about it much.

I haven't spoken to her since 2001, I called her after 9/11 to make sure she was okay, she worked in Manhattan. We've never spoken again since. She was polite on the phone but I could tell she wanted to hang up.

I don't know what I did or said .

One thing I can say is that the best way to look at it is as a learning experience. This kind of thing hurts, but the only way you can cope with it is to view it as positively as possible and don't take it personally. I've certainly been in situations like this and the only way to improve is to think about what to do next time. It gets better, trust me.

But if you don't know what you did in the first place, how can you learn from it?

It's one of the hardest things, I think. Went through this (a similar situation) last year.
(oh... and the year before, and the year before........ ) I think I'm in a cycle.
The 'pain' involved can be unimaginable and can take months to get over. BUT you do eventually get over it.

And I found that it gets easier with time.

...not the older you get, but the length of time away from the point when you realised that things were not as you thought they were - I found this thread interesting... http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... highlight=


chin up son

I know it gets better with time, I go through this about every 2 years. What really hurts right now is the fact that I'm going to have to wait another 2 years most likely to get another chance, and it will likely probably go the same as this did. Will I EVER cut a break?

Hmm.. nobody knows what's in the future, and so it is full of surprises, if your thinking is positive then there's less chance of you missing the good times. perspective (as in the way you view things) is key, a positive view (ok, not the number one view here, but..) you learned something, you said that this time it was because he thought you were clingy (close tagging or following, such as walking too close in the mall, personally i don't view it as, but ... you learned that because you asked him what the problem was, well done for doing that) now you know that some people think that type of friendship is 'clingy'. so really, you can reduce the risk of it happening again, either by being less 'clingy' or by befriending people who don't mind it or even like it. and theres probably people who dont even view it as 'clingy'