I stand alone

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ezbzbfcg2
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30 Mar 2013, 12:33 am

uwmonkdm wrote:

If I were to say that to the average person, what is their reaction?

It's funny, because while I can identify with this, I feel it's a double-edged sword. Sometimes people feel they have THE answer, they believe they've got it, and they're not willing to listen to counter arguments. In that scenario, I usually just politely smile and nod, because I know it's futile to try to disagree with them. In their minds, I wonder if they think of me, "this guy is just like everyone else, he doesn't get IT like I do!"

So I try not to be smug and preachy about my beliefs, and keep my mind open that I could be wrong.

I've always enjoyed picking people's brains and trying to see how they think. On the whole though, I think people don't like having their beliefs challenged, especially if the belief is commonly held.

I'm not one to quote song lyrics, but this reminds my a lot of a Beach Boys song...not about cars, girls, or surfing:

Quote:

Now how can I come on
And tell them the way that they live could be better?
I know there's an answer
I know now, but I have to find it by myself

ezbzbfcg2
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30 Mar 2013, 12:36 am

billiscool wrote:

no, not really. I never really care to be popular. I enjoy being alone, then being with people. I don't mind every now and then, but not all the time.
I am not a very social person. But that just me.

I can't speak for the OP, but I don't think the question was about being popular or trying to fit in.

It's about a general disconnect felt just being around other people, seeing how different we are from them not only in how we act and behave, but in how they naturally act and behave.

jk1
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30 Mar 2013, 1:26 am

Yes, I feel like a computer without a NIC. However hard I may try, without it I can never connect to the network of other people. Now I accept that I'm destined to be like that because I was born without it.

goldfish21
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30 Mar 2013, 2:58 am

uwmonkdm wrote:

bumble wrote:

I sometimes feel like I am standing on the outside of a society gone insane.

You are.

I understand completely Tequila, but my entire life has been this way. So I don't really feel any pain from it anymore. I'm consciously aware that no matter who I am with or where I am, I am alone.
Even if I feel like I care about people, they can't understand or see the world as I do. As bumble has suggested above, the world has gone insane; to try to explain this, or give someone a touch of sanity only serves to further alienate me.

For example, Monsanto has just received legal immunity from Obama, their GMO crops will take over the market soon (I'm not American but this still concerns me greatly as we are neighbors). No one really seems to care. No one cares that there's poison in the tap water, no one cares that technology is replacing human interaction, no one cares about anything anymore. There's no true religion, no philosophy, the western world is dying and I'm starting to understand exactly why so many people believe "America is Satan".

If I were to say that to the average person, what is their reaction?

In my eyes you have two options..
Accept that you're alone and try to find a small, small group of people that you can be around.
OR
Fake it, be fake. Even most NTs are not themselves in public, or with friends. I believe most aspies are even worse because they're aware they have to try to fake it.
However, I believe everyone is lacking introspection, they don't understand themselves let alone anyone else... The most important thing I can suggest is to understand yourself, whatever that means for you.

We are.

I hate Monsanto with a passion. The s**t they, and American business, government, FDA etc pull is beyond appalling. Sheople are far too busy being distracted by crap to realize they're being enslaved & poisoned. The Bilderbergers are in full swing on their plans of mass population reduction down to 500M people worldwide, and they're doing it via Monsanto, poisoning the food supply, land, air, sea, drinking water, pharmaceuticals, vaccinations etc w/ the cooperation of governments and the American military industrial complex. It's disgusting.

Thankfully we have the option of organic foods here, and our water hasn't been fluoridated since 1972. Now if we could only avoid the radiation from Fukushima... oh wait, we can't. f**k.

Anyways, I think there are a lot of us Aspies on the same wavelength about this sort of stuff. You're not alone in being able to stand on the outside of society and look in and see that from systems, processes, management, economics, environment, government & banking systems points of view people have completely lost touch with reality. Everyone going along with these absurd charades have lost their f00kin' minds.

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briankelley
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30 Mar 2013, 4:05 am

Tequila wrote:

Anyone ever feel like this? In a gathering of any group of people (and even on here most of the time), do you ever feel as though you stand alone, disconnected from everyone else and the relationships, loves, toils, pains and triumphs of everyone else here? It feels impersonal, as though I don't have a real connection to anyone here. It's hard to describe, but I feel like that in real life too. Anywhere I go, I always feel as though I stand alone. I don't feel as though I interact with people properly and that whenever I do I feel as though I am almost like an intruder, an alien being to be rejected.

You feel like an alien? That's why they call this Wrong Planet. You feel the same exact way I've always felt. It's not easy, but it's part of being autistic. Try to have fun with it like Doctor Who has with the humans. Or pretend you're in the Matrix. Real life is like watching a TV show anyways, right?

GTMacc
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30 Mar 2013, 1:02 pm

Feel like this all the time, I've never really been attached to anyone or feel the need to.

I try to mingle with people in groups where interests are the same but always end up feeling like the odd one out and don't belong.

I have been a bit of loner for most of my life so i just keep telling myself its just my anxiety of just wanting to belong.

Tequila
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30 Mar 2013, 1:33 pm

bumble wrote:

I feel frustrated because I cannot make people understand stuff that is obvious to me. For that reason I am not able to connect as I think in a vastly different way to them and my perception of the world is different as a result.

I've been told this quite often from NTs. My perception of the world and what is going on in my head is very different to what is going on in everyone else's head.

Tequila
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30 Mar 2013, 1:34 pm

billiscool wrote:

no, not really. I never really care to be popular.

I don't think it's so much about being 'popular' as having people that you genuinely share an interest with rather than people that you occasionally have overlapping interests with, or the random people in the pub and so on and so forth. I can't really relate to the other people's experiences during this special interest, and when I am with these people I still feel very frozen out.

Tequila
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30 Mar 2013, 1:36 pm

goldfish21 wrote:

I feel like more of an outside observer watching a live movie play out in front of me, and it can be rather entertaining and beautiful to take in the world through the point of view of live cinematography. Same sense of being an outsider, but completely different perspective = much more enjoyable vs. depressing or frustrating. Try it!

In many cases, I think I would actually prefer to watch some of my life experiences through a television screen rather than actually be there in real life, as I find that it's uncomfortable for me and I constantly feel not part of the group and a complete fraud.

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30 Mar 2013, 2:08 pm

Tequila wrote:

whirlingmind wrote:

Yes. But then don't most of us on here...hence the name Wrong Planet?

I understand that, but it's a little more specific than just feeling as though you don't fit in. It feels as though you could be almost invisible, as though it's almost - almost - not you interacting with other people. It's as though you are not entirely there when you interact with strangers.

I have so often felt like I am invisible to the world. Not within my family or in a work situation, but outside I am the person salespeople do not try to sell to. I am the person at a party (and I am very rarely invited to parties) who no one talks to. I couldn't approach strangers and start talking and I find small talk difficult, so I tend to be the one who sits alone. This, of course, makes things worse as I am then seen as snobbish or aloof. I do not enjoy being like this though.

Drehmaschine
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30 Mar 2013, 2:31 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLmXq5k3-EQ[/youtube]
You are not alone when it comes to this. It feels like others are just continuing in their own stream of Existence, while you are an observer behind a two way glass.

marinus
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30 Mar 2013, 4:26 pm

That souds very familiar to me,
I spend a lot of time alone, even on school Its a terrible feeling
I did manage to make some friendships but almost every time I fail to maintain them.
Also I where ignored by many classmates probably because I am a bid rude and maybe some noisy
It hurt my feeling to be ignored every day so I decided to stop with school and go in treatment
Im getting help but still feeling pretty much the same way...

Last edited by marinus on 31 Mar 2013, 4:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chloe33
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30 Mar 2013, 4:35 pm

I can relate. There have been times when i was in a group or even cluster of in-laws at holidays where i feel i am apart from everyone just existing there to observe them and that is all.
I do not identify with them, i am just there, i don't feel comfortable there.
I feel like a ghost who watches humans sometimes...

goldfish21
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31 Mar 2013, 12:49 am

Tequila wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

All a matter of perspective. If I'm feeling social anxiety, then yeah, I can feel like that.. But if I'm doin' alright, I'm still on the outside looking in, but with a different perspective. I'm constantly observing and analyzing everything and everyone from a 3rd party observer perspective. Its like being Neo and seeing The Matrix & operating inside it, but on our own path vs some predetermined program the masses seem to be controlled by, and it puts them in an enchated spell like trance, zombies, drones, borg, debt slaves, human matrix stylr batteries to charge the greed of banksters & corporate overlords, w/e you want to call them.. We get the opportunity to see it all from this outsiders perspective.

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briankelley
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31 Mar 2013, 1:14 am

I know the feeling well. It's like being in some kind of interactive television show or something. Like it's not 100% real. It seems artificial. Or worse, you seem artificial to yourself. That, at least to a degree, is depersonalization. Something I've suffered from off and on since childhood. Seems a lot of autistic people experience it. Maybe it just has to do with being out of your personal environment. I don't recall ever experiencing it at home. I just get it when I'm away from home. It's probably there all the time when I'm away from home, but is more pronounced sometimes than others. I know lack of sleep exacerbates it.

Being away from home... Meeting strangers... Welcome to the Matrix.

goldfish21
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31 Mar 2013, 2:10 am

I experienced some pretty extreme depersonalizaton when I was 17. I don't think what I described above is even mild dp. Its differentn much more positive.

Its as if the whole world's a stage, and like the lyrics from the Cold War Kids song, "..we are playing for an audience of one," and I am the one. Its a nice view.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTrLsteldvc[/youtube]

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Last edited by goldfish21 on 31 Mar 2013, 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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