terrible problems with a friend

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Trust is a part of friendship. It sounds like there is no trust in this relationship, therefore you should cut off contact. One thing easier about online friends vs. real ones is after you cut off contact, you don't have to see them or be reminded of them. When I say cut off contact, I mean totally destroy every remnant of him. No email, no IM, no nothing.

The 'holding-up-a-piece-of-paper' method and no more. If the person won't accept that as proof of who you say you are then that's their problem. Do not go any further just to 'please' them. This chap is obviously not well and, like I said, it's not in your best interests to continue communicating with him.

There is trust in the relationship, but it is only one-way (from me). The holding a piece of paper idea was his, and I had no problem doing it. I'm just wondering who he thinks "that woman" in the picture is, if he doesn't think it's me? That is when I start to feel very confused, and like something is my fault. So even though I know his accusations are false, I still feel like I've done something wrong, for him to say these things against me. I assume it was caused by something I did.

Thank you tequila, bchris02, JJ, buddy, shade, Kosmonaut, alex for your thoughts. This is harder for me than I can adequately describe .

Excellent point. Though some states, including Utah, have stopped using SSN on drivers licenses precicely for that reason.

At my last job, I really annoyed the NT's by asking the corporate office assign employee ID's because they had been mailing out direct deposit notices which included name, adress, ssn, and bank name. My suggestion was well-received at the corporate level.

Edit: If you do start having problems with identity theft, PM me because my husband works for a lawyer that deals with bankruptcy and credit issues.

I agree wholeheartedly. The guy is a nut-job and should be dropped immediately. I understand the problems that people with AS can have in making friends. But I seriously would rather have ZERO friends than someone who is behaving like this guy has.

Well I managed to cut him off for a couple months a while back, but then he called my house and the whole cycle started all over again. He apologized, I felt bad for him, he was normal for a while, and then started the accusations.

What do I do about the feeling, that, if I dump him as a friend, he will have no friends on the entire earth, and he will die of loneliness? Because as far as I know, I am his only friend. I have been dumped by friends, and I don't want to do it to someone else. I just can't snap out of the line of thinking that without me, he will expire from isolation and loneliness. And this makes me feel so bad that I can't do it.

This guy sounds like a jerk. Perhaps it's time to move on.

Stop waffling, ignore his wishes and do what's best for you. The man clearly has some serious problems, otherwise he wouldn't have behaved in this insane fashion towards you. I'm sure there's people here who will talk to you instead. You have gone on with this rubbish for far too long and tthis is not a healthy relationship between two people.

janicka is right: having no friends at all is far and away preferable to dealing with a crazie like this. He has your home address - you don't have the first idea what this man, in his mentally unbalanced state, might do to you or your children! Stop being stupid and cut him dead!

Thanks Tequila

I just had another thought about the situation. My husband is bipolar, though he has never done anything as nutty as this guy. But I still have to live with some difficult issues.

This being said, does this guy realize what he does to you when he gets in his paranoid mood? If so, is he willing to get help for it? If you really have strong feelings for him (which means you genuinely want his friendship as opposed to fearing loneliness you may experience without him) then maybe you could tell him that he has to be in therapy or medical treatment as a condition of your friendship. You would, of course, have to realize that he could cease participating in treatment and once again become harmful and dangerous.

If the only thing that is holding your friendship together is your fear of loneliness, then I stand by my previous statement. Don't worry about how lonely he may end up as a result - he is bringing the consequences on himself.

He is already under psychiatric treatment . *I* will be ok in terms on loneliness, but the guilt and concern I would feel for him makes it hard to cut him off.

Plus, I genuinely like him, when he's acting sane.

Tell him the truth your a computer program running on a mainframe at the CIA.
Your relationship is based on the flow of electrons and not some in real life in the
flesh kinda thing. So who you are physically does not and should not matter. Now
the next point you have to convince him is your not a figment of his own imagnation. In which case he is so crazy that might be alot of fun trying to convince him you exsist.

How come all the hot chicks are attracted to jerks, and not me?

(joking)

Actually, I have thought of agreeing with him, just to get him to shutup, but that would be cruel.

Thanks for the laugh, bazza . But he's not a jerk, just very crazy . That doesn't make it not abusive, though .

Is he compliant with psychiatric treatment? Many times people who are bipolar or schizophrenic (on the surface he sounds like he may be bipolar to me) will quit treatment because they think they are cured or dont' like the side-effects.

I think he is at least semi-compliant. I would like to speak to his shrink, but I doubt he'll ever let me. If we were going to continue to be friends, that is.