I must leave home...

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You people frustrate the hell out of me. Is it so hard to understand Jim's situation?

Do you think he'd be living there by choice? You say "get a job, move out, get independent" like it's as easy as turning on the microwave or can be accomplished if he'd only put a little more effort into it.

Did you ever consider that the same sensory issues that make it so difficult for him to live at his father's house might also make it very difficult for him to find and keep a job and do other daily life things that so much of you take for granted?

There are all kinds of sensory issues involved in having and keeping a job, and it's not a matter of gritting your teeth and getting through them - just like a person can't walk with a broken leg, people with this kind of sensory issues can get very overwhelmed and nonfunctional when faced with these things. It doesn't make them bad people. We all have our problems.

Also, Aspies don't tend to make good impressions in interviews even when they have great skills and knowledge. A lot of Aspies don't have their driver's liscences and don't live near public transportation, which is another problem.

To find a place to move out, you need to have money, which means you need to have a job. See above. Even if you do have the money to move out, say its a rather small amount but enough to get somehting small, then you need to find somewhere you can tolerate living. Again, moving somewehere else with a bunch of 20 somethings who party all day and all night will not solve the problem, it will only make it worse.

Headphones and earplugs often do not work, and even when they do, they may be extremely uncomfortable to wear.

As for useful solutions, the only thing I can think of is to apply for disability, which can take a while, or try to find a friend or relative who you can stay with for short times to get away from it.

It really sucks, to be a prisoner in your own house. I know. I have finally moved out, which makes me no ends happy, but only because A) i got disability and B) a friend of my stepmom's who had an extra room agreed to let me move in. It's not an easy process.

Kate

Thats why I said goto college. Its alot easier than a job.

This is not necessary the case with me. I went to a single community class college class (it was English Writing Comp, which is actually one of many better areas), and it was a nightmare. They gave out these tests to show how advanced we were, and I zoomed through most of it. But there were questions asked to talk about our feelings regarding we responded emotionally to certain words and situations described to us. I was completely baffled. I didn't ask questions because I was too nervous (I am really anxious about confrontation). The next week we were going to go into little groups and talk about our work. This scared the heck out of me so I dropped out. (There were more issues then that; this was the first time I was in an actual classroom in some time and I think the adjustment was really awkward and nerve-racking)

I was expecting something completely different. But this was a required class. I don't enough credits (although my grades are good) to get into ("normal") college or university. I don't have anything against community colleges or anything but I don't think I have the stanima right now to go through all of that on my own.

This is not necessary the case with me. I went to a single community class college class (it was English Writing Comp, which is actually one of many better areas), and it was a nightmare. They gave out these tests to show how advanced we were, and I zoomed through most of it. But there were questions asked to talk about our feelings regarding we responded emotionally to certain words and situations described to us. I was completely baffled. I didn't ask questions because I was too nervous (I am really anxious about confrontation). The next week we were going to go into little groups and talk about our work. This scared the heck out of me so I dropped out. (There were more issues then that; this was the first time I was in an actual classroom in some time and I think the adjustment was really awkward and nerve-racking)

I was expecting something completely different. But this was a required class. I don't enough credits (although my grades are good) to get into ("normal") college or university. I don't have anything against community colleges or anything but I don't think I have the stanima right now to go through all of that on my own.

I had really severe anxiety like that with college when I first tried to go. Eventualy I got over it, and now i have a Master's Degree.

I moved out of my parents' house when I was 17. I had a roommate who was polite and quite. She was even a little bit standoffish, which was a big plus for me.

I did have a job where i had to interact with people a good deal (cashier @ grocery store). It was draining, but I got to the point where I was really fast at it and could avoid smalltalk by speeding their order through my checkout line. Chatty baggers were also a big help. In the long run, I think that job helped immensely with my social skills so I would recommend it highly. The independance and peace from my insane mother were well worth moving out for.