How to Tell Your Parents That You're an Aspie

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I'm sorry, it's me again...

Same "type" of question as my other one about "telling kids" [ http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt230404.html ] ... but for context, 30-something year old adult diagnosed. I have not yet told my parents yet and am anxious about sharing it with them (for a host of reasons).

Any advice on how to "break" the news to them? Any existing threads and/or advice here is most welcome!

A few off-the-top-of-my-head questions...

- Do I tell them? Is it worth the potential heartache and pain?
- Is there a perfect "time" to do it (like if I should wait until I've been clinically diagnose for over a year so I can get my own s**t together first)?
- Is some sort of "progressive" sharing possible?
- Any books that I should send them first? Or is that odd?
- Should I engage them by myself and/or with my spouse?

Ugh. Thanks!

Unless there is some reason they need to know, I wouldn't say anything.

When I say reason I mean something like you having lots of problems over the years and continuing to have them that they don't understand or deal with ok, then I would tell them about it so it explains it. Since you are in your 30s and married with kids it sounds like you are probably functioning ok and there is no reason for them to know. It doesn't effect them so I'd just keep it to myself. Less drama that way.

The same for the kids. When they are older I would tell them, maybe older teens or young 20's so they would know it's in the genes and they can make informed choices about whether or not to have kids (some people would actually not have them).

I'd just keep it on a need to know basis.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I agree with OliveOilMom. It would kind of be like coming out as an introvert, in a way, though AS and introversion are obviously not the same. You would be opening yourself up to abuse for not a whole lot of upside. Now if you think your parents would react supportively, and you are close, that is another thing. Of course I suspect if that were the case you would not necessarily be asking. I am probably wording this all wrong, but if you are an adult and independent and not needed parental understanding of your traits for a real concrete reason, I would let it go.

(Disclaimer --I tried discussing this with my mom, when my son was diagnosed---and she was in denial about me having it, my dad having it, my brother having traits, etc.. It did not go well. Luckily she "forgot" all about it, so I stopped bringing it up.)

If you do decide to tell them, I think the cartoons at this link do a great job: http://www.dudeimanaspie.com/2009/11/dude-im-aspie.html You can also buy it as a little book on the website.

thanks for the link)