Does the OKcupid thing really works?

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Just wondering. Does it?

I've had quite a few dates out of it. However, I don't think there are enough people in my area for me to find someone like me. Also, a lot of the guys I met were looking for something very non-serious.

In my experience, it's helped me to actually get dates and meet a lot more women than I was able to previously. So far none have led to serious or long-term relationships, but one probably would have had it not been for certain logistical issues (e.g.: both of us were moving out of the area soon). So I'd say that it can work, but it is certainly not without its downsides or difficulties, and it is not for everyone.

I think it can work if you live in a very populated area. It's all statistics.

I've gotten a few dates out of it. Didn't go anywhere, but I live in a rural area and thus expanded the range of what I was looking for.

That said: I do know a woman that married someone she met on the site.

I think it depends on the area you're in and what you're hoping to get out of it. I got several dates and semi-casual relationships out of it however, none that really went anywhere. I'm starting up a serious relationship now but with a girl I met elsewhere.

I think the lasting impact of my okcupid experience was meeting a couple future roomates and friends through one of the girls I went out with for a while.

It works about as well as trying to stop a bulldozer with a derringer.

Chummy,

Be extra careful on using OKCupid. There have been known to be a lot of date/romance scam artists that have accounts on there, sometimes the site will flag messages from such folks, but not always. I speak from experience, as one that was in contact with me turned out to be a notorious scam artist named Sindy Becky Green who has done this to lots of guys. I had to shut down my account not only there but at a whole ton of sites, do some removing of cached sites from Google, etc. and also block her from my email. If it works for you, great. Just be careful if you go through with keeping and using an account there. It just left a bad taste in my mouth with what almost happened to me.

I had a lot of success--most of my boyfriends, including my current one, have been guys I've met there, because I'm a hermit and don't leave the house. I think a key thing to remember is that if you are looking for something to translate to the real world, then be totally honest on your profile. Especially with your pictures. It may be shallow, but physical attraction is a must between partners and there is nothing more disheartening than meeting someone in person, having them look you up and down and just walking out the door because "you don't look like your picture." Luckily this never happened to me, but it did happen to two of my friends, and they cried for hours. And that's one of the things I was complimented on most--my open and blunt profile (finally! Aspie bluntness has a use!) and the sense of humor that shone through it. So make it honest and make it entertaining and don't seem butthurt--"I'm such a nice guy but girls are just shallow twats. Why doesn't anyone like meeee?" I've seen this on profiles, for real. It is not attractive. If the only thing you're bringing to the table is that you're a "nice guy" then you need to do some work. Think of it as a job interview. Would you hire someone to be a rocket scientist if the only positive thing about themself was that they were a "nice" person? No.

Also, if you do give it a try, have a system worked out for dates. Bring mace or something pointy ( I used to carry around a box knife) and tell a friend or family member where you are going and who you are going with, so in case you go missing, they can give the cops some information to go on. I also advise having a quick escape plan in place in case a date is going terribly wrong and you just need to scram without causing a scene. I used to have a code word worked out with a friend; if i texted that word to her, she would promptly call me with an "emergency" that I had to tend to, she would sound frantic or be crying or freaking out, giving me the perfect out of an overly awkward or uncomfortable or scary situation. Later on, I would text them and tell them I didn't think it would work and apologize. You can call it bitchy or weak, but I'm horrible at confrontation.

This is super long and ramble-y, I apologize. I had a panic attack earlier and took some xanax and now I'm SO UP and EVERYTHING IS AMAZING and I did the online dating thing for a while, so I have that s**t down. My weakness is that I attract crazy broken people. Always have though.

This is a very good point. In order to get a date, you have to sell yourself, just like you would at a job interview. This requires a certain degree of social skills, however, and is why many Aspies find it difficult to find love AND employment.

It can, it sure didn't for me, I met my current boyfriend online on a website that wasn't even a dating website but a geeky close-knight internet forum. Infact, two members got married just a few weeks ago so we're not the first, but seriously, just keep yourself open and put yourself out there and just keep doing stuff that you like.

OkCupid is nice because its free with all of the standard features and you really have nothing to lose really. Its worth a shot.

I've been able to find a lot more dates on OK Cupid than in real life. But usually the women are not interested in me after the second date.

But I learn to have thicker skin, and not mind as much when people show an initial interest and then don't want to see me anymore. I think I might be getting slightly better at dating, though there aren't any results to show for it.

I made a profile just for fun. I received quite a few messages, with just my description, no pics, but I did mention the possibility of getting some if we were to get to know each other well. I talk to a few of them, but I make it clear that I'm just looking for friends. I also admitted that I have Autism on my description or dating resume as some people here call it, which goes against your general WP'ers advice. Some people actually found that interesting about me, other people had similar things going on, and messaged me because they felt that they can sort of relate. I guess what I have to say to you, is go for it. If you feel like you need to ask for some profile advice here, I advise not always following what the mass tells you, because they're not always right. Sometimes you should just go with your gut feeling. That's what I do and I seem to be doing alright.

I used to have a huge problem with this. But it really held me back, so I came up with a solution--I fake it and pretend to be someone else. More specifically, I pretend to be one of those home shopping network spokespeople (like the Shamwow guy), but less over the top. Those guys probably aren't as excited or into their product as they seem, but how they act and the way they say things makes people take interest, so how they really feel is irrelevant. I observed them and of course all of the NTs around me, those who were socially successful, until I could successfully pull off physically and verbally projecting self-confidence. It's tiring to do for an extended period of time, social events and going out exhaust me because of the focus it takes, but it's done a lot for me.

It's been better for me than most other methods. I've had one relationship out of it, plenty of fun dates, and while my most successful relationship was with someone I met elsewhere online, he later joined the site and is my closest % match (which is both depressing and reassuring at the same time).

I think it's way better than any other dating site, but that's just me. Different things work for different people.