Why do people give others a hard time?

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marshall
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31 May 2013, 1:01 pm

There's this thing called "bonding by exclusion". People find some kind of camaraderie messing with the person that's different and doesn't quite fit in with the group. I know this because I've both been the one singled out and the one part of the group being pressured to join in in the incessant teasing of someone else. It seems like kids are worse in that they bully kids for things they know the target can't help ( looks, innate ability, etc... ). Adults think bullying is justified when they think someone is merely choosing not to conform to their standards. I think it's low empathy NTs who do this. They think they can get you to try harder to fit in by ridiculing you because they have no understanding of AS and think you can change and become one of them if they just mock you enough. :roll: Since AS is a hidden difference they somehow think it's justified, especially if you're intelligence threatens them. I think they just want an excuse to bully and are really no different from immature kids who do it. They know they will be looked down on and lose status for ragging on someone for something they literally can't help.



Caseyfritz
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01 Jun 2013, 11:23 pm

Hmm, bonding by exclusion. I discovered today by talking with another co-worker about the other guy that he gives everyone a hard time apparently. I'm not sure how accurate that is since I never see it, but he seems to give me a harder one. Like I said it doesn't bother me usually unless they hammer it in all day long, then it starts getting annoying.



neilson_wheels
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02 Jun 2013, 4:06 pm

Once a bully, always a piece of cr*p.

How many people are involved, it seems like one main antagonist but how big is the group? Is it a whole department, are some outside of this guy's influence?



marshall
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02 Jun 2013, 7:20 pm

I've noticed that there's an uncanny valley kind of thing that goes on when it comes to group prejudice against the "outcast". If you're so obviously different that you will never be "in with the group" people will tend to leave you alone, accept your differences, and treat you with a distant semblance of respect - especially if you're good at your job. However, if you're close to being like them, i.e. actively trying to fit in but not quite making the bar, suddenly you are fair game to them and they will tease you mercilessly. It sucks but I don't know what else to say other than try not to bother with such people or try to be friendly with them other than in a professional sense. Find the other loners to strike up casual conversation with and just ignore the as*hole crowd.