Annoying things people do to you because you have aspergers.
You must be doing something that's giving people a reason to be mean to you. You're just not realizing it. My suggestion is be nice and friendly to people. If you're nice and friendly to people, there won't be any good reason for people to hate you and they are more likely to see past your flaws. Kind of like the Halo effect.
Look up the halo effect on google.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
In my first year of high school, we had to get into full uniform on photo day. Since it was cold, I had a long-sleeved shirt under my short-sleeved school shirt, with my sweater on top. I remember a teacher coming into the bathroom with me, asking if I needed help with it. That only served to upset me, since I've been able to dress myself since the age most "normal" kids are. Difficulty socialising, and sometimes learning, =/= problems with simple everyday tasks.
I've also gotten upset in class before, and substitute teachers have occasionally talked in a really patronising tone to me. I hate it, especially when teachers use pet-names like "sweetie" and "darling".
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Make cupcakes, not war.
Most people don't know I have Asperger's...they just think I'm eccentric, which means I can get away with a lot. For some reason, eccentricity is more acceptable than autism. However, my husband (who, I think, doesn't really believe that I have Asperger's, despite the diagnosis...my psychiatrist keeps offering to have him join us so she can explain it to him) does tend to get annoyed with me when I answer more slowly than he'd like. He also criticizes me about my tone of voice, saying that I'm very rude (which, of course, I don't mean to be). It's funny, because when I am reading out loud (which I do a lot, considering I'm a teacher and I have a 5-year-old), I am perfectly able to use intonation appropriately. However when I'm just speaking, I don't even really hear tone...so I guess I'm not using it correctly. I need to see the words to say them right!
Also, I had an appointment with a neurologist that I had never seen before, and he was fine for the first few minutes, but when he asked me for my medical history and I told him about the Asperger's, he started talking to me like I was 12...it was so annoying.
Oh, and my eyes are super sensitive to light, so I wear sunglasses a lot. When I wear them on cloudy days or indoors, people tease me about it...just light teasing, though, because I am, after all, "eccentric." Same thing with wearing my musician's earplugs everywhere because of my sensitive hearing...
Well in my case,I NEVER tell anyone I have Aspergers or any other mental disorder. I actually don't understand why any of you would. Regardless of this,people tend to see something wrong with me.Mostly it seems they think I'm "slow". Its really gotten to me.Some will have thw guts to flat out say it,and I'll be honest that its gotten so tiresome that I might just beat the living s$@t out of the next person that suggests that. Ofcourse I couldn't do that if it was a women and women seem to be more likely to let their chops fly than men,so in that case I will just have to find something insulting to say back to her.
But most people won't actually say that,but they will do stuff like finish my sentences for me.I REALLY hate this. I also hate this look of pity people give me when they think I'm taking too long to say something.These instances make me not want to talk to anyone and has led to people thinking I'm rude. But what else am I supposed to do?
If it had been me he had said that to he would have found himself in the ICU with a broken jaw,some missing teeth and maybe more depending on what mood I was in at the time.
It's also annoying when I'm with somebody who knows I've got AS and they treat me extremely gingerly, as though I am some delicate person who is going to start laying on the floor having a meltdown at any moment. Like say if we go into a room and they go, ''oh is it too bright for you?'' And I'm like, ''no, lights don't bother me at all'', or if I'm somewhere where there's a lot of people chattering and they say, ''oh will you be OK here with the noise?'' and I'm like, ''what noise? I do OK in these sorts of environments, and if there was an irritating noise like a kids screaming, I will feel agitated inside but I won't show it to the world.''
I suppose I can't complain too much, because they are only trying to understand. I don't like it when
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people don't understand, so I shouldn't complain when they're trying to understand.
Much better than people thinking you're stupid like they do me. I actually have a degree in microbiology with a minor in chemistry. LOL
I've also gotten upset in class before, and substitute teachers have occasionally talked in a really patronising tone to me. I hate it, especially when teachers use pet-names like "sweetie" and "darling".
Ew.This is why I never tell anyone about my mental issues.Its unbelievable when people think they are being helpful when they are actually insulting and disrespecting you as if you are a small child,or mentally retarted.
Not true, some people treat you worse the more friendly you are towards them, because all they respect is social power.
Well said. A large percentage of people are bullies by nature. If they think your harmless, they'll be complete a$$&%#@# to you. But if they see that you might smash their faces in if they cross the line, they will actually give you a little respect.
actually its them, they are the stupid ones and you arnt. ive come to realize that after so many years.
i have my own hobbies and interests i keep to myself and for some reason my family feels the need to be nosy about it such as what games im into and such. and when they try they always bug me to assist them on a game i dont even play or care about asking me to help them on a stuck part and that im a genius at it. when they say that i just leave cause it so stupid and annoying at how they say that and really irritates me since im in the middle of something im doing.
basically i just see half the people around me are the stupid ones and they just don realize it.
People who know I have AS but haven't gotten to know me yet, expecting me to be monotone-voiced, hand-wringing, nerdy and completely honest in everything I say, and follow rules religiously, and have a narrow obsession with something like trains. I'm actually NOTHING like that at all. I don't speak in monotone at all, I have tone of voice and facial expressions, I don't wring my hands, I am not nerdy one little bit, I am not completely honest all the time, I am not a perfectionist, and I am not obsessed with trains.
But when people find out that I get obsessed with a certain bus company, they then assume that I can memorize all the routes and schedules of the buses in the company, and can monologue about them all day long, in every little detail. Um, no, that is not how my obsession works either. It's the actual drivers I'm obsessed with, and I have a hard time remembering the times of the buses even though I catch the same bus almost EVERY DAY, I've still got to check the timetable! I don't hardly know a thing about all the details. I am not very detail-orientated.
Also I am not good at maths at all. In actual fact, I have better social skills than maths skills, and that's saying something. I can recognise body language and other non-verbal social cues just fine, but if you was to ask me what something like 18x26 is, it would take me ages to give you the answer, and my mind would just shut off.
There, I am not one bit stereotypical for an Aspie.
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xxZeromancerlovexx
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Age: 30
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But when people find out that I get obsessed with a certain bus company, they then assume that I can memorize all the routes and schedules of the buses in the company, and can monologue about them all day long, in every little detail. Um, no, that is not how my obsession works either. It's the actual drivers I'm obsessed with, and I have a hard time remembering the times of the buses even though I catch the same bus almost EVERY DAY, I've still got to check the timetable! I don't hardly know a thing about all the details. I am not very detail-orientated.
Also I am not good at maths at all. In actual fact, I have better social skills than maths skills, and that's saying something. I can recognise body language and other non-verbal social cues just fine, but if you was to ask me what something like 18x26 is, it would take me ages to give you the answer, and my mind would just shut off.
There, I am not one bit stereotypical for an Aspie.
That's how I feel most of the time. I feel as if when people think "female Aspie" they picture some gawky girl who is obsessed with math and science and looks like Velma from Scooby Doo.
That's not the case with me. I don't wear glasses, I suck at math and science, I wear more makeup than I should at times (sometimes I can go a day without makeup, but I feel naked when I don't wear it), I love skirts, dresses, nail polish, wearing women's clothes and looking cute. With makeup I wear a lot of primer, mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick, lip gloss and cream eyeliner.
I don't even have sensory issue with clothing and perfumes. All three of my signature perfumes have entirely different notes. The only sensory problem I tend to have is noise related.
Based on my interest in physical appearance and how I constantly think about how I want to dress next time I go to the grocery store I think my interest in fashion, beauty, aesthetics and appearances I would think that when I talk to people they would automatically assume that I'm neurotypical based on how I talk about all of that.
Unless I tell people that I have Aspergers and talk about my other interest they probably don't even question that I possibly have Aspergers.
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“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
The one over-riding thing is the automatic assumption of their superiority and worth because they are not on the spectrum. It is particularly galling when it comes from people who themselves have achieved very little in their own lives, despite the advantages of being neurotypical, yet they feel automatically entitled to look down on spectrum people who have achieved much more (despite the significant disadvantages that come with being different from the normocentric herd and having to live in their environments).
That's how I feel most of the time. I feel as if when people think "female Aspie" they picture some gawky girl who is obsessed with math and science and looks like Velma from Scooby Doo.
My eyesight is not that good, but I don't want to wear glasses because I don't want to feel like a stereotypical Aspie (it won't matter so much when I'm over 45). Yes I know plenty of NTs wear glasses, but when you're an Aspie with glasses you feel like the majority of Aspies. A lot of people with other disabilities like Down's seem to wear glasses too. It's like 8 out of 10 people with disabilities wear glasses, 4 out of 10 NTs wear glasses (older people past 40 or 50 don't count, as it is more common in older people to wear glasses, but I'm talking about younger people here). I don't like eye contacts either. I prefer laser eye surgery, but I've heard off-putting stories about that. Maybe I should have a word with my optician anyway.
Yer, me too. Maths was the subject I struggled with the most all through school. Science I found interesting, like when it was about the universe or the human body (most kids found that interesting anyway), but I still wasn't a scientific genius. A lot of people seem to assume I can't spell for whatever reason, but spelling I've always been pretty good at. English was the subject I done well in at school. Well, I didn't get A's, but I got at least a C. Art I failed for being ''too creative'' (yes, I still can't get over that to this day).
I wear lipstick and sometimes some eyeliner, but I'm not that bothered about make-up. But I do like to wear perfume, and I like to look stylish when it comes to clothes, and I always keep my hair well-groomed.
I don't have sensory issues with touch, smell, taste or light. In fact I can't stand a DIM ROOM! I love a bright light.
I have sensory problems with noise, like you. I jump at sudden noises like dogs barking, and I get agitated when there are toddlers screaming and shouting near me. Well toddlers agitate me full stop, unless they are either well-behaved or asleep. But when these noises occur what upset me, I still know how to keep my cool. I don't go into a meltdown or go around with my fingers in my ears or great big headphones over my head or whatever. OK if I'm really not in the mood I may show I'm a little agitated in my body language, but that's not enough to draw any attention or make me stand out.
Unless I tell people that I have Aspergers and talk about my other interest they probably don't even question that I possibly have Aspergers.
Nobody has ever said that I seem Autistic or anything like that. People do notice my shyness and anxiety, but they just assume I have social anxiety, which I do anyway. Often I feel like a person with ADHD and social anxiety, rather than Asperger's. I seem to have, like, 9 out of 10 symptoms of ADHD and 9 out of 10 symptoms of social anxiety, but only, like, 4 symptoms of Asperger's.
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Female
Utilize me, rather than relating to me. Worst in workplaces, but can be a problem with neighbors/acquaintances outside work too.
Kind of a two edged sword - some people find my particular collection of mad skillz very intimidating. Of the group who do not, most focus on the utility thereof, not the humanity of the bearer.
I have concluded that much NT interaction is primarily transactional and much mental energy is spent avoiding this realization.
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"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
This happens to me alot to the point where my whole family doesn't even take me seriously. I have siblings that are old enough to be second parents but we're all adults and we should be able to communicate but don't because they don't reciprocate and I don't like chasing people.
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