My husband is a therapist and I think he has Aspergers....

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You seem to think he lacks empathy or compassion.
He probably sees and feels empathy and compassion very differently to you, but that does not mean that it is not there. Those of us who go into psychology rarely do it unless we have a lot of empathy and compassion. We may feel it differently, more intensely, or express it differently than you do, but it will certainly be there. The fact that you believe the stereotype so completely is more worrying to me than anything else in your post.

I highly doubt he will take well to being told he has AS. Probably would take it about as well as if somebody said to you that the reason you can't empathize with your husband and your son is because you are neurotypical (that sentence probably won't go over well with you despite that it is true - NT's lack empathy for us as much as we do for them usually). It won't solve the underlying issue, even if he makes an attempt to be more self aware - there are things about ourselves that are not changeable.

In light of your post - if you are so intent on seeing only the negative, telling you husband that he has AS will solve nothing. It will not change who he is. It will not change how he acts towards you, in all probability. There are very few people, either NT or AS who have the self awareness and motivation to attempt to work on themselves to that extent.

So in essence - what do you hope to get out of telling him that he has AS? What is the ideal outcome that will result from it, in your mind?

Well, I am currently in my masters year of clinical psychology so yeah

Well, you've just heard of another *points at self*

At least I think I *might* have autistic traits. I only have a formal diagnosis of ADHD.

You would think the apparent lack of empathy would make it impossible to be a therapist, but I've met plenty of mental health professionals with zero warmth.

I went to apply for a job as a social worker, and they had me take an MMPI-2. I scored only a couple of points over the "empathy" cut-off. Apparently, if I had scored any lower, they would've thought I was some sort of psychopath, and terminated the hiring process. I scored high on analytical reasoning. The psychologist who was reviewing my results coldly looked at me, and with zero sensitivity stated, "You shouldn't be in this line of work. You score low on empathy." Takes a f**king kettle to call a teapot black!

Empathy can be learned on a rational level. It's just a bit inflexible at times, but the "empathy programming" becomes more elaborate with time and experience. I'm able to adapt reasonably after years of trying to act "normal" and with years of experience in the helping profession.

Performing counseling can also be learned, sort of like putting on a hat or playing a role in a movie. You learn by watching professionals do their job, and synthesizing that information into your own personal experience. I can have a deep, profound session with a client, then turn around and be unable to hold a conversation with a stranger.

From the feedback I get, I guess I'm a decent therapist. A lot of my clients seem to like me. I think the mutual experience of emotional turmoil in life gives me something to connect with in my clients.

That's so nice to hear! I'm training to be a therapist and I've had so many doubts since I got my diagnosis a couple of months ago. On one hand it is really my heart's desire to become a therapist and help people, on the other hand I often have problems interacting even with people in my group and we know each other intimately because of the training, so I often wonder whether I would be able to connect with patients. But reading your post gives me hope