For those diagnosed in adulthood

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 28 and just a few months ago i was asked if I'd ever been tested for aspergers. I said no and thought they were way off base.. I'd had a cliche image of aspergers and autism in my head and believed there was no way i could have it and not know it. surprise surprise.. the more research i did, especially with how it presents itself in women, led me to realize that i do have it. (I am currently self-diagnosed but i'm in the process of applying for SSI benefits so im sure i'll have to be evaluated at some point by a "professional" soon.) I've been wanting to tell everyone just so i don't feel like I'm keeping a secret or hiding my real self, but part of me wants to wait, i'm not looking forward to all the comments and doubt. My family has (for the most part) been very accepting and supportive, thankfully.. but i've told a handful of friends and the responses have been mixed. I don't even care if i lose friends, i just don't want to be fake and pretend to be "normal" anymore. I just want to be me. On twitter and tumblr i'm my natural authentic self and i feel so free, yet on facebook among all my family and friends i rarely post anything real anymore. It's like living a double life, sort of. I'm relieved to have finally learned why i am the way i am, though! I've been able to stop bullying myself and putting myself down for never being able to just "snap out of it" and "calm down" and "deal with it". Now i can learn ways to live with it and not try to fight against it.

I do not really have friends in real life, per se, but those who knew me in my teens, as in from ages 11-17, were not surprised at all when I approached them some years ago to tell them I suspected I had Aspergers. It seems they had had a discussion about me as adults and concluded I had it (several of them were in the health profession and had a kid with As). It almost felt like I was the last to know.

No