Handling violent behavior in teenager

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Yes. You are describing my pubertal problems actually. Thank god my parents did the only right thing, they let me go my own way to sort things out. I haven't sorted all things out but I'm managing a life by some way or another.

But don't get fooled of sweet talking etc, and be absolute in rules. There's no 3-cage situation here but it's a binary right wrong. I wish you luck, because if he's similar to me, you have a situation. Grab him before he does something desperately stupid and ruins something.

Does he know he has aspergers/hfa?

Hi again, I can only talk about my sons experience. Last year he decided he wanted to try without his medication and his paediatrician agreed to give it a shot. This resulted in a term long suspension from school. Alternating doses for relevance is now what i do. He uses the medication for school because its a stressful situation and barely uses it at home so i give it to him on an as per need status. Some of the meds for AS that i found that are good are the ones used for ADHD it calms them enough to deal with the situation by helping them to focus. There are always side affects though and my sons seem to be Tourette like symptoms which is quite noticeable caused by the meds. The paediatrician and myself weighed up the pro's and con's and we found that without the medication suspension would be a major issue and he would not learn school work and other. While he is suspended he is not learning social skills which is crucial to live in this society as adults. It was a hard decision but giving him no medication is more harmful then some. My advice use trial and error with meds to see what works well and keep a diary so you can look back at it. Your the parent and your the only one who will know your child well enough as they live with you .. not the doctors. If your doctor does not agree find another because medication is not the sole answer it is the thing that helps you find the answer.

I'm new to the forum but I'm finding so many posts in which I can relate!

My DS was only dx'd with Asperger's 6 months ago and he's 17. Heretofore, he was diagnosed with PTSD, ADD, OCD, ODD, MDD, generalized anxiety, trichotellomania and dysgraphia.

School.....has ALWAYS been a major stressor for my son. Always. From the time he was in kindergarten to now. He failed last year because 1) He skipped a gillion times 2) He wouldn't turn in his work, when he did it 3) He wasn't accomodated at all and I was lied to all year long.

Now, with that being said, my son, as is stated here, is the sweetest, gentlest kid in the world. He's 17 but looks like he's 12 (except for his size). His emotional maturity is that of a 12 year old as well and his naivete never ceases to amaze me. Let me also state that he is what they call a "late bloomer", he has delayed development which was verified by my pediatrician. I don't know if the escalation in violence was hormonal or due to the frustration at school. Starting at about age 14, he became moody and irritable, aggressive in nature and a habitual runaway. He also stopped taking his meds, including anti-depessants and became severely suicidal. He has attempted suicide 4 times.

I don't believe in drugging him in order to control his behavior but the best he's ever been was when he was on Concerta and Serzone (which has now been black boxed). He was on Risperdal for a while when he was 14 and he became non compliant for reasons which he would not say, but the psychiatrist at the time said it was a control issue.

Right now, my son is in a court appointed residential facility where he has been for the past six months due to violence (he hit is older sister). He is taking Effexor which has somewhat controlled his suicidal ideations and I can actually converse with him without the overlaying "screw you" attitude.

I can tell you that in our experience, stopping the meds completely had horrendous results.

What's worse is that my son didn't tell me that things were going downhill at school. I would ask him, "How is school?" "Fine, Mom." It was far from fine. He was failing almost every class and skipping classes. The school, instead of calling my cell as requested, would call the house, leave a message, which he would erase before I got home from work. Same with notes sent home. I never saw them.

I will tell you this, from experience, if you are noticing any anxiety, GO TO THE SCHOOL and check what they are doing. See how they are accomodating your child. Don't take their word for it, I did and it was a huge mistake.

I understand that he is embarrassed by his dygraphia and doesn't like to call attention to it, but at the same time, why couldn't he tell me that these things were happening at school? I can't help but think that the violence was in part due to problems at school, i.e. frustration.

I don't know if this applies to any of you or not. Just our experience.

a school is only as good as the staff who are running it.....our son would always say things were fine... but they weren't...the school would say they were handling things effectively, but they werent....

my daughter went to a mainstream school for a year and she was biting herself and cut her hair she wanted to die and would get chucked out of school for a week at a time when she was in school it was only for half a day in the end.
The headmistress phoned me on day becouse my girl had locked her self in a cubourd and i think they expected me to tell her off but i was so annoyed becouse my kid was in such a state and overloaded.
we were given an interview in a special school and she hasn't had those kinds of problems since and she has made friends with one boy.
when she moves to the college next door to her primary school she knows some older children there
I lost friends becouse i sent my kid to a special school becouse they thought it was bad but it works out for my kid and her school work has improved loads it may not be an option for everyone but it worked for us

All you're saying makes perfect sense. I think you're right about gritting your teeth and WAITING. With our kids, there are good times and bad times, and it always does get better.
I've been going to hell and back with my son, he was on zypreza (anti-psycotic) for some weeks, and it made him much worse - depressed, more violent and impulsive. Interestingly, he is now trying ritalin, which works exactly opposite, and it is really helping him!
Good luck!

All I can say is that when my son was on Adderall it made him more violent and had more frequent outbursts On Lexapro and Zyprexa he wigged out on us and we had him taken to county mental health and wait it out. After the Adderall we didn't want to try another drug but, when having social anxiety at school became so bad that he wouldn't go on Mondays and seemed so depressed not fitting in so we took him to a "expert" and he got worse. I was told that Aspergers and high-functioning Autistics don't react well on any drugs. We've done remarkably well on a vitamin regime, his diet is very restricted, and small group setting.

Sometimes Efexor can help. Best to be careful with the restricted diet and ensure your child is not suffering from malnutrition.