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BookPerson
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17 Jul 2013, 2:17 pm

I've always felt very awkward, in regards to my arms. I remember when I was first looking into the possibility of my having AS, I read somewhere that a sympton can be "not knowing what to do with your arms." This describes exactly what I refer to. I generally fold them behind my back or put them in my pockets, if they're not carrying or holding something. Just letting them hang at my side feels to strange - almost like they're prominently sticking out. ( I know that it's not the case, though.)

Anyone else have similar feelings? I know this is, or seems like, a relatively minor matter concerning AS, but it seems like an interesting one that hasn't been discussed on WP lately.



Joe90
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17 Jul 2013, 2:27 pm

I think it's more due to social anxiety.

I don't always know what to do with my hands. I'm OK whilst walking, but when I'm standing about somewhere busy like if I'm waiting for someone, I always feel awkward. People say to just keep my hands by my sides, but I feel even awkward if I just remain stock still for the whole time I'm standing there, especially if the waiting is prolonged (like if the person I am waiting for is late, etc). I feel better if I am holding a bag. I always have my handbag over my shoulder, so I keep one hand on the strap of my handbag and the other perhaps in my pocket or just down by my side, but like I said, it sometimes feels awkward. I try not to make eye contact with people, but sometimes they pass my line of vision and then I see them literally looking right at me in my periphery. I don't know why people can't just glance at me with their eyes or something, instead of turning their head right towards me as though they want it to be wholly obvious that they are looking at me like I'm beneath them or something.

Loads of people stand about in busy towns but when I do it I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Even when I fold my arms I still feel that I'm missing some kind of rule of how you should fold your arms. There's a rule for everything, even how to hold your shopping basket in supermarkets. It's all so gay, no wonder social anxiety is common in Aspies and also non-Aspies.


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Thelibrarian
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17 Jul 2013, 2:34 pm

Interesting. I have the same issue, though I wasn't aware of it until I joined the Navy. In the Navy they were real sticklers about not letting us stand with our hands in our uniform pockets. Since then, in social situations, I'm also prone to feel very awkward about what to do with my hands.



RandyG
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17 Jul 2013, 2:36 pm

That was me, constantly, when I was younger. It's faded quite a bit as time passes.



BeggingTurtle
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17 Jul 2013, 3:03 pm

I'm really clumsy. That describes my whole body!


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Vectorspace
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17 Jul 2013, 3:12 pm

You're not the only one...
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alecazam3567
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17 Jul 2013, 5:27 pm

I definitely know how you feel. I tried to break the habit once, but to no avail. I still have my hands in my pockets all the time because it feels better to me than having my hands just hanging there at my sides. My pockets are like home for my hands; it's where they go when idle :lol:



Anomiel
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17 Jul 2013, 5:48 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think it's more due to social anxiety.


No.



Grevesy
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17 Jul 2013, 6:05 pm

Oh I know that feeling!

Luckily I have always fidgeted a lot and have some 'usual' stims (biting nails etc) that keep my hands and arms busy. And I do love pockets. Hoodies are the best.

When I'm not thinking or fidgeting, my arms fold up by my side and my hands hang loose. It's hard to describe. If you have ever pretended to be a T-rex, with it's tiny arms, or seen a kid doing that, it's kind of what it looks like. I don't notice I'm doing it myself, but my family and friends all think it's hilarious and weird. People who don't know me well sometimes ask why I'm in such a stupid pose, but it's actually super comfortable and a great position for flap-based stims!


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Marybird
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17 Jul 2013, 6:34 pm

Vectorspace wrote:
You're not the only one...
Image

LOL! Looks like she has a pretty clear idea of what she should do with her hands.



sppp
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17 Jul 2013, 6:47 pm

Anomiel wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I think it's more due to social anxiety.


No.

I feel like social anxiety triggers this in me, but ultimately it's caused by hypersensitivity to useless details.



conundrum
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17 Jul 2013, 7:09 pm

I tend to clasp my hands behind my back--the "standing at attention" pose. Either that or put them on my hips, which for some reason feels more awkward.

Joe90 wrote:
I feel better if I am holding a bag. I always have my handbag over my shoulder, so I keep one hand on the strap of my handbag and the other perhaps in my pocket or just down by my side, but like I said, it sometimes feels awkward.


That works for me too. I am more comfortable with mine slung across my chest, so it stays in place if I have to run for the bus, but it works pretty much the same way.


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wildcoyotedancer
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17 Jul 2013, 10:56 pm

Yes lol


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wildcoyotedancer
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17 Jul 2013, 10:56 pm

Yes lol


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FishStickNick
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19 Jul 2013, 2:10 am

conundrum wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I feel better if I am holding a bag. I always have my handbag over my shoulder, so I keep one hand on the strap of my handbag and the other perhaps in my pocket or just down by my side, but like I said, it sometimes feels awkward.


That works for me too. I am more comfortable with mine slung across my chest, so it stays in place if I have to run for the bus, but it works pretty much the same way.

I'll often hold on to my backpack straps while walking around; it's gotten to the point where I'll reach for my backpack straps even if I'm not wearing it. 8O

When I'm standing (and not fidgeting with something), I like to stick my hands in my back pockets or clasp them behind my back. I sometimes get a little self-conscious about the fact that I don't really swing my arms while walking, which is always an awkward feeling.



Joe90
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19 Jul 2013, 9:58 am

Yeah, the swinging the arms when walking thing. I really can't see why NTs are so hot on that. I thought you can walk just as steadily walking when not swinging your arms than when you are.

It's a bit like when I'm carrying heavy shopping bags home from the supermarket, it really hurts to hold your arms vertically whilst holding the heavy bags. I think it feels more comfortable when I bend my arms so that my hands are in line with my the top of my chest. That would be so much less painful if I was to hold heavy shopping bags like that. But no, it ''looks stupid'' so I can't do it without the risk of ridicule. :roll:

I really hate living in a society where trends and fashion are more important than health when it comes to social conformism. It's a bit like in the business world, where money comes before health.

*sigh*


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