From your posts I think I conclude that actions/successful actions are needed in order to truly build self-esteem. This corresponds to my own experiences.
Life is basically about continually building self-esteem. Because without that you don't feel a reason to live - if you are worth nothing why should you keep struggling in everyday life! One has to build this "false" image that you are worth more than everything when the truth is you would soon be forgotten if you died. Most people wouldn't even care. This false image is basically built by thinking socially.
I now see that's why I've had problems with this. With Aspergers I've always sought the truth, and if you do this, your self-esteem will become 0 very quickly.