How is being a rude person attract so many women? (sarcasm)
I just think that all this 'chemistry' gets lumped together into this vast pot, when there are different types of chemistry.
Ultimately (and I accept that very few people will believe what is to come) - I believe that the 'real' chemistry actually is the flow of love between two people, that actually is using the people as channels. It's an awesome feeling. It can be as pure as pure can be. The energy doesn't come from these people - it seemse to come from somewhere else. Now, I've come to believe that actually it is two people feeling God's love, using each other as conduits. However, whatever it is defined as, it definitely has some 'other' quality about it.
Then, of course, you have physical chemistry, intellectual chemistry, and so on. And all of this has different effects, and different results, of a more 'down to earth' level.
Unravelling it all is the tricky part, and this is what puts people into a spin.
You know what you want? You know the feeling? Right, so you want a feeling, and not necessarily a person to go with the feeling.
There was a question mark you missed out at the end of the last sentence.
I am human.So are you and everyone else in this thread. Autism does not make us less contradictory, I believe it makes us more so.
Yes I know what I want but I also know that what I want is completely unrealistic. It doesn't make me stop wanting it though. I think the same applies to all the boys on this forum too. Maybe everyone ever. I don't know. All I know is what I have experienced and how those experiences have made me feel and think.
So yes, I want that feeling but I also want a person to go with it. I want that person to make me feel incredible and also to look after me when I need it and let me be by myself when I need it (which is a lot of the time) and not make me feel bad or sad or mad but only glad.
Disney does have a lot to answer for. Although I would swap all of the above for the spaceship from the Flight of the Navigator.. Boys dig spaceships anyway
I remember watching that film in the cinema. Something very unsettling about that spaceship, could have done with some furry dice or something.
I didn't put a question mark on the statement - however, this wasn't because I was saying what you definitely wanted. I was trying to make a wider statement that applies to pretty much everyone, in my experience.
People want feelings. People do things (when they have a choice) to get feelings. I see that all feelings are internal, and when an event happens, someone is merely giving themselves permission to open up and feel what they always had inside!
Then people anchor this feeling to an external - people, places, things. Then, they add it into the 'story of their life' and it becomes part of their identity and who they are.
So, I say that pretty much everything is inside, and it's why I say to people if they sort this bit out, the outside world becomes an awful lot easier to manage. One could, if they wanted to, fall in 'love' with a block of cheese.
There is the other level of connection though, that we talked about. Most people think they want it, but actually they don't. It's like being happy - most people say they want to feel happy, but they don't.
I often do.
There is the other level of connection though, that we talked about. Most people think they want it, but actually they don't. It's like being happy - most people say they want to feel happy, but they don't.
I am not sure I understand your point there. You make it sound it's like an off the shelf product, yeah you think you need Roundup for your lawn, but really you don't. eh?
Consider this third nice guy:
Someone who was nice to the girl but ended up being rejected, and him attributing the rejection to him being too nice. Which one does he fit?
Ahh. Well. I don't know about your specific situation but I would guess you weren't sensual enough for this gal.
I broke up with a guy once (back when I was a teenager) because he was too nice. I has really liked him and thought he was maybe too shy, but he was just constantly wanting to do things like buy me dinner and then sit silently across from me and would only just hold my hand wouldn't even kiss me and after a while I found this boring and got together with my horrible ex who was a fantastic kisser and while he treated me badly it made life interesting. Nowadays I have learned my lesson and would not go out with either of those (type of) guys, but you have to learn your lessons in life the hard way.
The Empress has spoken! Thank you for actually responding as an honest woman. You deserve a virtual cookie:
At least she responded as an honest woman and not some guy who thinks I need help.
If you didn't want help, then why the hell does this thread exist?
It's already been firmly established that being genuinly nice is different than being a Nice Guy(TM). And the myth that women won't date a guy simply because he's "too nice" has been thouroghly debunked so I'm not sure exactley what the point of this thread is anymore..........
Understanding? Understanding it is difficult. As human beings, we have everything we need right now to feel happy. We are conditioned since birth, by all sorts of agents, that we do not. So, why don't we? Now, that's an interesting one.
I would say the vast majority of people who talk of happiness do not want to be happy. Many psychologists would agree.
From where I'm sat, it's the other way round that makes it sound that one needs a product - "Oh, if I only had that ready-made partner off the shelf, I'd be happy". The two are attached together.
Perhaps this binding of internals with externals is because of feelings like hunger. When we are hungry (internal feeling), we need something external (food), and that's how we start solving every internal with an external.
You might not think that this sounds very romantic, or helpful, but I think it's very liberating and supporting. Also, when one feels happy and love inside, guess what they end up sharing with people? Rather than waiting for a boat to come, and selfishly keeping all their happiness and love to themselves.
Consider this third nice guy:
Someone who was nice to the girl but ended up being rejected, and him attributing the rejection to him being too nice. Which one does he fit?
Ahh. Well. I don't know about your specific situation but I would guess you weren't sensual enough for this gal.
I broke up with a guy once (back when I was a teenager) because he was too nice. I has really liked him and thought he was maybe too shy, but he was just constantly wanting to do things like buy me dinner and then sit silently across from me and would only just hold my hand wouldn't even kiss me and after a while I found this boring and got together with my horrible ex who was a fantastic kisser and while he treated me badly it made life interesting. Nowadays I have learned my lesson and would not go out with either of those (type of) guys, but you have to learn your lessons in life the hard way.
The Empress has spoken! Thank you for actually responding as an honest woman. You deserve a virtual cookie:
At least she responded as an honest woman and not some guy who thinks I need help.
If you didn't want help, then why the hell does this thread exist?
It's already been firmly established that being genuinly nice is different than being a Nice Guy(TM). And the myth that women won't date a guy simply because he's "too nice" has been thouroghly debunked so I'm not sure exactley what the point of this thread is anymore..........
The point was to stop believing things like that vulgar comic you posted. In other words, the above point you finally admitted.
Nice Guy, and nice guy, are said the same way. It was to debunk that myth, that was the purpose, to explain to nice guys, in a way they understand (which is made difficult by NICE GUY (TM) rot), that women like men who are genuinely nice, which is what they think of whne they say nice guy anyways.
As I said, whine arse, no NICE GUy (TM)
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comedic burp
It had a point that wasn't yours. You kept saying I needed help, when the whole point was to clarify beyond reasonable doubt, that being nice is a given, not something you strive to do. If it was made as simple as your response to "Well at least she responded as an honest woman and not some guy that thinks I need help", then this thread wouldn't be required. Say it so people know what you are talking about.
Why does being rude attract so many women? (SARCASM)
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comedic burp
The argument was a little rude, which is in keeping with the topic, so therefore it's still on track, righ'?
At least when I'm nice it is genuine, and not fake like some Nice Guy (TM), so yeah.
I found the use of the word Nice to describe a flaw agonizingly absurd, so that put a little fuel to the fire as well.
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comedic burp
Or maybe you're just an old goat
lol are you trying to prove the title of this thread is actually true? nice try
I am an old goat. Very set in my ways.
We're all free to choose.
Funny someone brings up happiness. I had to learn that is just a state of mind that doesn't often last. Peace, and joy are real feelings that need to be sustained. Inability to sustain those feelings in my experience often leads to people not wanting me around either.
Being overly nice- I agree with the girl. It gets you nowhere and it gets you there quickly. It's what bad people take advantage of from you- take what they want, then throw you aside as if you had no real feelings. Then a good girl comes along, sees this in you and lets you down lightly, and you take out your frustration on her. Now you look like the as*hole or Nice Guy TM everyone hates being around. She will likely offer friendship, but you will turn it down out of a false sense of pride. (my experience). And yes, I was like the other guy in the boat... someone who got dumped for being too nice so she could go back to the as*hole she wanted to leave (she actually referred to him as an as*hole who didn't treat her right). Now she is broken up with him, and I can assure you she doesn't want me either.
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Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
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