The flaws I attract are 'character defects'. Why?

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I'm a female with Asperger Syndrome. Am also asexual. Thus, 'ugly' guys are fine (I really, really don't care, as long as the guy bathes). Disabilities are fine too, because I have disabilities. It is OK if the guy cannot get around easily or has to use a wheelchair. Speech problems, fine. Learning disabled, fine. Really, anything but being a jerk.

Strangely, I only attract 3 types of men:

1). Men who are flaky (don't do what they say they will, unreliable, inconsiderate of my time)

2). Men who have had a criminal past

3). Compulsive liars

And no, I am not attracted to the above type at all....that's why I don't currently have a bf! I've dumped the above as soon as I found out!

I've had encounters with guys on the spectrum but they don't seem interested in me at all. I've also met guys with various disabilities, and most of them already have girlfriends with visible disabilities, or they seem to shy away from me after a few conversations. (There was one guy that actively approached me, he used a wheelchair and had a speech problem. Yet after the conversation, when I encountered him a week later he did not want to talk to me)

I attract shady NT much older guys without exception...I really can't figure out why this is and wondering if any of you have the same issue. Male or female can respond.

Do you find that, no matter what your gender is or what gender you're hoping to attract....that you attract scumbags?

p.s. This is not to suggest that anyone with a criminal past is an automatic scumbag... People do learn from their mistakes. I get that. And age also isn't an issue. However, guys i've dated generally had no proof that they changed their ways.

I don't know but what I do know is that people tend to attract or date individuals who have flaws that the person doesn't like. Either they didn't realize the flaw the individual had was a deal breaker or the flaw was not apparent at the beginning.

I think it's just part of dating. Most people you date won't click, even if you consider yourself to be less picky than the average person (and I'm not saying whether you do or not).

I am pretty much the same way as you as far as giving most women a chance except for certain things, (among them is being a jerk and compulsive lying).

I hate to say this, but the vast majority of men will consider being uninterested in physical relationships a deal-breaker. It also sounds to me like you've dealt with some creeps, but that unfortunately sounds like the experience of a lot of women no matter what the circumstances.

If you don't want an actual romantic relationship but desire the companionship of having others actively involved in your life, I'd consider concentrating on cultivating friendships. Socializing with people with various disabilities is really a wonderful thing, since they're often rejected and dismissed by society at large. I used to help tutor students with learning disabilities, and developed a lot of great friendships and helped some people that were struggling to count money or understand multiplication. There may be relevant support groups in your area that you can contribute to, depending on where you are.

Maybe try changing the places you are socializing.

Where are you meeting them?

Working on yourself is the only way to attract better people. Learn to set boundaries and work on your own issues when you have done that you will attract better people. This is what I am working on now.

(this post is not a put down)

Very true. I used to be a lot like this--I'd attract all the types of guys I didn't want to attract (most of them emotionally unstable), and I'd mostly go along with it because I didn't know what I wanted for myself. But then I started to introspect a bit, work out more, and really gain more self respect. One of the guys I was talking about earlier contacted me recently--started contacting me online, saying these suggestive things--and I shut him down, something I'd never have been able to do in the past. I'm still not attracting the kinds of people I want to attract, but I'm getting there. And sometimes this kind of thing takes time.