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DevilKisses
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18 Nov 2013, 3:01 am

Sethno wrote:
High functioning autistics do sometimes/often learn "coping skills" where they fit better into the NT world and can sort of "pass" as NT, at least at first glance. You may have done this already, and may continue to change where thinking and behaviour are concerned.

My advice is this-
You were diagnosed as autistic, so there were signs of it. If you're doing better now, keep in mind lots of autistic kids do. That doesn't change the fact they're autistic. It just means they're learning to at least simulate thinking and behaviours that don't come natural.

That's okay.

It's who they are.

My mom says she had a lot of trouble getting me diagnosed. I was definitely struggling in a lot of areas and still am. I don't really have much coping skills. I don't have enough energy for that. I just feel like my neurology is different.

Whenever I'm around other autistic people I have problems interacting with them. My NT sister has the same problems. The only similarities I notice are special interests and some sensory issues. I usually only get sensory issues if I'm sick or having a headache. They go away when I'm healthy.

It seems like my main problem is mental fatigue. This causes problems with social skills, life skills and school. When I don't have mental fatigue my social skills are pretty normal. I usually know intuitively what to say and do when I don't have mental fatigue. It's like I'm the real me.
Unfortunately I have mental fatigue 99% of the time and I don't get to be me.

It seems like I can read social cues. I just don't have enough energy to respond to them, so it looks like I haven't read them.


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rapidroy
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19 Nov 2013, 12:39 am

You sound aspie enough to me.

Honestly I can see the accordian coming back, the banjo did. Liking a band like Mumford & Sons or listening to country music would have got you bullyed when I was the OP's age and now meny people of that age group love that stuff. I think meny people thought vantrilliquism was lame and then Jeff Dunham broke through. I can go on and on, times change and the accordian may be next to return in some genre somewhere.



FluttercordAspie93
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19 Nov 2013, 1:14 am

I'm the exact opposite of you: it's very hard for me to hide some of my special interests.



DevilKisses
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19 Nov 2013, 3:30 am

rapidroy wrote:
You sound aspie enough to me.

I really hope I'm not. I do have have some traits (mostly special interests), but I feel like my neurology is different than most aspies. Especially my social problems. They are mostly caused by social anxiety and lack of energy/impulse control. My social skills have always been worse than my ability to read social cues. I think the opposite is true for real Aspies. They often think of elaborate ways to mask their symptoms. I don't have enough energy or impulse control to actually do that.


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BuyerBeware
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19 Nov 2013, 4:15 am

Enjoy your accordion.

No, it's not "cool" like the electric guitar or the drums, but, especially if you have a musical bone in your body, enjoy your accordion.

There's nothing wrong with it; furthermore, I wish we lived in a society where autism wasn't the object of such crippling shame. I do the same thing-- the last thing I do before I go out is look in the mirror, look over my kids, and ask myself, "Do we look like I'm autistic??"

If the answer is "Yes," we don't do whatever it was we were planning to do.

I don't do things, or try things, or go places-- all because someone might see something that's not NT Perfect.

They're things I should be capable of doing, have done before. My husband says that my shame limits our lives far more than my autism. I tend to say that the shame is part and parcel of the disease. He says it doesn't have to be that way. I'm 35-- it's too late for me. It doesn't have to be too late for you.

Being less worried about it might actually lessen your mental fatigue. I can't go back-- too late for me, as I said-- but I do remember the past; I enjoyed life more when I worried less.


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DevilKisses
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19 Nov 2013, 4:41 am

BuyerBeware wrote:
Enjoy your accordion.

No, it's not "cool" like the electric guitar or the drums, but, especially if you have a musical bone in your body, enjoy your accordion.

There's nothing wrong with it; furthermore, I wish we lived in a society where autism wasn't the object of such crippling shame. I do the same thing-- the last thing I do before I go out is look in the mirror, look over my kids, and ask myself, "Do we look like I'm autistic??"

If the answer is "Yes," we don't do whatever it was we were planning to do.

I don't do things, or try things, or go places-- all because someone might see something that's not NT Perfect.

They're things I should be capable of doing, have done before. My husband says that my shame limits our lives far more than my autism. I tend to say that the shame is part and parcel of the disease. He says it doesn't have to be that way. I'm 35-- it's too late for me. It doesn't have to be too late for you.

Being less worried about it might actually lessen your mental fatigue. I can't go back-- too late for me, as I said-- but I do remember the past; I enjoyed life more when I worried less.

I actually tried to get into playing guitar several times. I was bored and frustrated every time. I just never enjoyed playing it. I enjoy playing accordion, I just don't tell people at school about it.

Maybe not worrying about being weird will help my mental fatigue. I think my mental fatigue actually caused my autistic traits, not the other way around. When I don't have mental fatigue I'm like an NT with slightly quirky interests. I can sometimes have effortless conversations with other quirky and artsy NTs. It's a weird, but wonderful feeling. It's like I'm leaving my body and becoming the conversation. I also notice that the conversation energizes me and makes me feel deeply satisfied. Unfortunately most of the time I have to deal with my mental fatigue.


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ZombieBrideXD
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19 Nov 2013, 4:45 am

dude
just embrace your interest and dont give a rats ass about embarrassment, thats how i am with sonic

i really like sonic

like a lot

i have like 6 action figures

some people think its weird, and then im just like " f*ck you, i got my sonic, im happy"


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rapidroy
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20 Nov 2013, 12:38 am

DevilKisses wrote:
rapidroy wrote:
You sound aspie enough to me.

I really hope I'm not. I do have have some traits (mostly special interests), but I feel like my neurology is different than most aspies. Especially my social problems. They are mostly caused by social anxiety and lack of energy/impulse control. My social skills have always been worse than my ability to read social cues. I think the opposite is true for real Aspies. They often think of elaborate ways to mask their symptoms. I don't have enough energy or impulse control to actually do that.


What I ment is that I don't think there is a real aspie stereotype to compare yourself too, more so at your age so what you have written here so far I don't see any reason to doubt it, I don't know you though. I also find the whole aspies can't read social cues thing to be annoying, sure we can just at verying reduced rates compaired to the general population. Does the label really matter that much anyway? You could go and get evaluated again and see what happens either way your still the same person weather or not you have AS, something else or nothing.



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20 Nov 2013, 12:53 am

There was a time when between the ages 7 and 8 that I was enthralled by the penis. I'd obsess over the penis day and night. I was also convinced that my penis fell off shortly after birth due to my Gender Dysphoria also known as Gender Identity Disorder. I'd make up all kinds of chants about the penis calling it a tail that would end with the line, "Boys go with a tail -ttaaiill." I'd also have dreams that I'd find the missing penis. I've decided to work on fighting that obsession the Spring and Summer that I was 8. I didn't grab younger cousin's penis who was a year and a half older than me anymore, by the end of that spring and I didn't say anything else about the penis by the end of that Summer in 1983.


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Last edited by CockneyRebel on 20 Nov 2013, 12:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

woodster
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20 Nov 2013, 12:53 am

Seems like a pretty cool special interest actually. Even NTs would be saying that imo. No idea why you'd want to suppress it.



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20 Nov 2013, 1:10 am

I realise that accordion-playing isn't perceived among Da Yoof Of Today as being particularly 'cool', but otherwise I fail to understand why you should be ashamed of this special interest of yours.

You have a passion for a particular musical instrument, and you are pursuing it. In anyone's eyes, that's a strong personal 'positive'.

Also, learning to read music is a highly-transferable skill, so it will stand you in good stead for some future point should you take up some other instrument instead or in addition.

And if you pursue your accordion-lurve with characteristically aspergic intensity, you should achieve an above average level of competency very quickly, at which point you should consider gaining the relevant 'graded' qualification and pursuing the recognised grades of qualification upward through all the various levels that apply, perhaps eventually reaching the maximum, surpassing it altogether, and attaining virtuoso status.

Since you have AS, there is also every probability that you will evolve a highly-personal and probably unique performance style -- especially if you discover a talent for improvisation -- which could prove a very marketable quality.

Along the way, you may find yourself sought-after by other musical performers, which may then open up whole new social circles to you -- I am thinking particularly of folk music groups (and some of the current distinctly-modern and cutting-edge practitioners of the art), but I know the instrument has other applications (it is often desired by female solo vocalists, for example, especially in France, which has a strong tradition of such coupling by performers).

Or if the worst comes to the worst, you could earn some level of income by busking!

In all, and despite the fact that I personally detest accordion music (it possesses qualities that I subjectively perceive as jarring and unpleasant), there's nothing shameful in your interest, and if you pursue it longterm you may find it deeply personally-fulfilling, socially-useful and perhaps even profitable.

Good luck to you.

Just don't play it near me, OK?



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20 Nov 2013, 1:17 am

There are worse things to be obsessed with than playing the accordion. Take my story for example. Enjoy your special interest.


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DevilKisses
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20 Nov 2013, 3:44 am

CharityFunDay wrote:
Since you [may] have AS, there is also every probability that you will evolve a highly-personal and probably unique performance style -- especially if you discover a talent for improvisation -- which could prove a very marketable quality.

I've actually been improvising on the piano since I was five. I've never actually gotten that good at piano. While I enjoyed improvising I've always felt like there was a wall between me and the piano. I wanted to play accordion because I had a lot of things I wanted to play on it. Maybe the wall will disappear. I've only been playing for about three months, so it's still quite hard to improvise. I'm not sure if I'll ever be a virtuoso. Seventeen is kind of old to be starting a new musical instrument. Most virtuosos start at four or five.
CharityFunDay wrote:
In all, and despite the fact that I personally detest accordion music (it possesses qualities that I subjectively perceive as jarring and unpleasant), there's nothing shameful in your interest, and if you pursue it longterm you may find it deeply personally-fulfilling, socially-useful and perhaps even profitable.

Good luck to you.

Just don't play it near me, OK?


I used to hate a lot of accordion music as well. I've always been quite sensitive to the accordion. That didn't exactly translate into me enjoying it. I found it kind of interesting, but not exactly enjoyable. I used to hate French accordion music with a passion.
I did enjoy traditional Serbian music, which had some accordion in it. It actually made it quite interesting. I got interested in listening to it myself when I discovered traditional Finnish music. Especially Maria Kalaniemi.


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DevilKisses
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20 Nov 2013, 3:50 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
There are worse things to be obsessed with than playing the accordion. Take my story for example. Enjoy your special interest.

LOL. I actually find transgender issues pretty fascinating even though I'm not transgender myself.


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CharityFunDay
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20 Nov 2013, 4:09 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
I've never actually gotten that good at piano. While I enjoyed improvising I've always felt like there was a wall between me and the piano.


That reminds me of remark by either Lennon or McCartney (the latter, I think) who said he preferred composing and performing on the guitar instead of the piano, because with the way you have to play a piano, it always feels as if you're pushing the music away from you, whereas on a guitar it feels like you're embracing it and hugging it close.

Perhaps something of the same deeply-personal physical relationship applies to you and your accordion?

Quote:
Seventeen is kind of old to be starting a new musical instrument. Most virtuosos start at four or five.


Another example of the Mozart Fallacy. Seventeen is not too old to start anything, least of all performance on an instrument you love. Don't be taken in by the prevalence of young performers in various fields of music -- they are promoted because of the related perception of youthful sexuality (this can even be seen sometimes in the appearance of 'new stars' in classical music): It's a marketing phenomenon.

And (except in very rare cases) improvisation is a learned skill that has to be pursued to a high level of development in order to fool the audience into thinking it's spontaneous.

Quote:
I did enjoy traditional Serbian music, which had some accordion in it. It actually made it quite interesting. I got interested in listening to it myself when I discovered traditional Finnish music. Especially Maria Kalaniemi.


Pursue your interest in your chosen instrument into whatever genres it leads you -- these will all provide experiences that may have a positive influence upon your development as a performer. Having said that, a little research suggests that there is a distinct dearth of western classical music featuring the accordion. I wonder why, when it's been such a popular instrument in folk music throughout Europe for so long?



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20 Nov 2013, 4:32 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
How are they hard to hide? Is it something you can read about instead like go to a bookstore and read it or a library or going online and reading about it? That is how you can pursue it.

I'll tell you an example of one. A few years ago I started to get interested in accordions. I knew that was a socially inappropriate interest. I kept myself satisfied by secretly listening to accordion music. This solution worked well for a few years.


Cool. The instrument of Serbian genocide. :lol:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocW3fBqPQkU[/youtube]


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