Protect Your Kindness

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Just another take on it - people have covered other angles to this better than I could. I want to tackle the overriding 'message' that you are saying from this - and not entirely go on this one experience (because it is just one), if that is okay.

If you are being kind for the sake of being kind, and expect nothing back in return, then does it really need being protected?

There's a world where many people are always trying to protect themselves. They walk around with their walls up, waiting for someone to make the first move, and then they wonder why they are so unhappy, and never have actually connected with someone else. Of course there is a 'risk of rejection' - fear - which is what your post is all about, really.

Everybody has different rules. Kindness will be interpreted by others differently. That is their choice. You have no right to insist a person should behave in a certain way when you offer a gift unconditionally - now social convention, that's another thing altogether, but are we on about that? I thought we were on about kindness.

If your motive is genuine kindness, or let's say mostly based on genuine kindness, then there is precious little to protect. You gave a gift - and it is you who attached the curse to it. The lesson to learn is possibly not to be less giving - the lesson is to learn to be more forgiving of those who use your gift in a way that you don't think is 'right'.

I asked myself how would she like me. I have a job but not a good one. And I take care of myself and go to school. If the Impala guy had so much value then she could've just been straight up and not try to make something serious. We took eachother on dates. I paid for some. And we went dutch too. And we were sexually active too. But it is what it is. In short terms. She was making it seem like she wanted to keep it going. So basically she loved how I treated her but in the long run I guess I don't have the value. Which is okay. I personally think you love a person for who they are not what they have but hey I think different.
But she came back asking to start over. I just said no. She will find someone else eventually.

I am a kind person in general I dont expect to receive anything. All I want is respect. Everyone bas their own defense mechanisms. And its different with Autistic people. You can be less giving but when you give its in the matter of how that person will treat it. Basically she got the best of both worlds in her favor. Just that the other guy dumped her out. Its human nature though. Maybe you can say "protect your heart". Or something.

Wanting respect - is that not expecting to receive something?

People show respect in different ways - once again, it's another rule everyone seems to interpret in their own way, to differing circumstances.

I never said it was easy. And I never said that what I said was completely true. Just something to think about