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Bernana
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06 Jan 2014, 6:40 am

Hi
I have never had real friends and have never had a conversation with any of my family. I used to be more social, but then I almost made myself believe that I didn't need friends because I didn't have any and I didn't want to feel like a loner. But recently I have been thinking and come to the realisation that I really miss interacting with people particularly my age, even if they are not friends. Sometimes I can stay up late at night talking to people online that I don't know because it makes me feel less lonely, but then it just makes me feel worse.



Tokename
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06 Jan 2014, 7:19 am

Hi Berana

Can you use your personal interests as a common ground to start interacting with people your own age? Are there clubs/groups that you could join in your area? Could your family be a starting point for conversations?



coffeebean
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07 Jan 2014, 10:06 am

I tend to use the Internet as a secondary social outlet, but during low periods it becomes my primary source of social interaction. It does hold the loneliness at bay for awhile, but it always comes back stronger because I don't really get what I need from text and I imagine what it would be like to have such conversations offline.



Dantac
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07 Jan 2014, 12:58 pm

There is a website called meetup.com where people make groups that ...well, meet up and do some activity together.

There are even groups for socially shy/awkward people to meet in a more relaxed setting. If you like any particular activity (cooking, sports, video games, whatever) there's bound to be a meetup group for that too.

As always be smart and safe and always meet in public places with lots of people and go with a trusted friend at first.



Joe90
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07 Jan 2014, 12:59 pm

Lately I've been feeling more lonely than ever. I think it's because I've become too conscious of my social status compared to all my cousin's social statuses. My youngest cousin is 11, and even he has more of a social life than I do. My second youngest cousin is 16, and is always staying out with mates, and I know as soon as he reaches 18 he will be into drinking and clubbing. I just know he's that kind of boy with that kind of intention in him. And my other cousins are all young adults now and either have a boy/girlfriend or have a lot of friends and are going on vacations with them. I then take a look at myself and feel that I haven't got a friend in the world to do all those things with, and it's been making me feel depressed.

I don't really have any particular interests where I can join clubs and meet people. Even if I did do that, I doubt I will make friends what will be close enough to start wanting to go on outings and vacations with me. Maybe if I admitted to people how lonely I am, someone might say, ''oh, you ought to come out with me/us some time''. Instead I feel so embarrassed about the lack of friends that I have that I sort of pretend that my social life is more interesting than what it really is.


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RedStar98
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07 Jan 2014, 1:25 pm

I feel just the same. I'm 15 and have no friends to speak of. I'll spend hours talking to people on Omegle and sites like that just for some conversation, although that site is in no way the best. Recently I've been having more problems just being around people my own age and I feel uncomfortable even with people looking at me. I have very unusual interests so I doubt I'll meet anyone anytime soon with a common interest. I simply can't bring myself into liking 'normal' things so I don't know what else I can do.
I'm sorry I don't have any real advice, if I did I suppose I wouldn't be in this situation. The thing i usually do is to do a personal hobby like writing or reading, its great fun, distracts you from other people and you can learn things/make things too.


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Tokename
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07 Jan 2014, 2:03 pm

What do you want or need from socalising right now? Can you adjust your expectations on the benefits of socalising for now? and plan, step by step how to achieve this goal over a longer timeframe, break it down into more managable steps. In another thread a poster suggested a mentor to help with achieving goals, Do you know anyone would help you with this? Is there a service providing mentoring in your area? Does anyone know of organisations that provide mentoring?



EzraS
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07 Jan 2014, 2:06 pm

I have only one friend who has many friends and I hang out with them sometimes,
but I am totally outside of the loop. As time has gone on I have spent
less time around them because it is when I am around them that I feel lonely and isolated.
I mean it's almost entirely me sitting by myself not talking to anyone and wanting to be back in my room.
When I turned 13 I was old enough to register on two big teen forums. one of which is geared especially
for help and advice. It is the first time in my life I have been social so to speak and had friends.
A lot of people on both websites seem to really like me, so it has become a good fit for me.