No sex after great sex?

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if he tells you to scram if you don't like his ways, that is a good indicator that you should just do that.

I would be upset too if I waas in that situation. & if my partner kept psuing for sex & asked the question about us having sex when I mention wanting her to visit my fmaily with me; I would start thinking that the relationship is one sided & that she cares more about sex than she does about trying to compromise with me. I would then have problems performing due to feeling insecure & upset wth her. I may not tell her directly about my frustation because I'd be scared of upsetting her more & that shemay leave me 1ce I bring it up but it would at least affect things with our relationship on a subconsious level. I might would get frustrated with being nagged enough for sex that I would tell her she can leave if she doesn't like it too. I'm NOT saying this is the case & I'm really not trying to attack you or anything but rather give a possible perspective from him.

Leafplant, work is a 5 minute walk from where I live, because I cannot cope with commuting or public transport. I moved here to be close to work. And moving was major stress for me. I am a woman on my own with no help from anyone. Change is hard, and moving is horrible.

I have never gone to his area because he has never invited me to, despite me asking for the past 2 years! I often said this past Summer, how much I would love to know the area. I didnt pressure. I didnt push. Summer would be better for a day trip, because it doesn't get dark at 4pm and dark for me signifies danger. I have been the victim of a crime in the past, and therefore it's not quite a clear cut case of take some pills and get on with it. Like I said, I am waiting for counselling still. But the intimacy is important too. However, intimacy is not just sex. Cuddling and feeling wanted. Staying over and coming back in the morning when it's day time and there's people commuting and not drunks getting ready for the weekend.

And he doesn't want to invite me to his place. He just wants me to go to the local pub with him for a couple of hours. I suggested staying over, if not in his home in a hotel, and we would do it as friends. No need for sex. He said he didnt want to spend a night.

Im not the one refusing him. I open the door of my home to him, and he is welcome to stay.

But I understand how initially it might have come across as me wanting sex, and him being the victim.

DoodleDoo I think you and GameDevAspie hit the nail in the head with the anxiety issue and him picking up on mine and then negative thoughts being associated with the whole thing. However, I have been patient for a year already. No expectations.But he kept giving me mixed signs. So now I have had enough. If it's friendship he wants, he cannot ever again do the whole tongue kissing and getting aroused and then saying no. If a woman did that to a guy she would be called a cockteaser. Friends don't do that to each other. Now there are boundaries. I told him I am not interested in being played, whether he did it intentionally or not.

Nick007, I know you are not attacking.

Thank you to all of you. As I said before, all opinions are worthy and I am grateful for them.

Is he a virgin??????

You want him to know for sure your wet and throbbing for unbridled sex.


Say ok I won't spend the night and go for it.

I will take some guesses, its obvious your stuck. Its also obvious there are unspoken issues.
This being "socially stuck in the mud" I think it is common. I know its so frustrating.

I am thinking of this guy, I don't know if he is an aspie but he has major social issues, he cant get a date to save his life. He quotes all the "game" or "pick up artist" stuff that is out on the internet. He tells me how I am "doing it wrong" or "he's doing it wrong" bla bla bla. Of coarse my girlfriend is sitting next to me. I told to get his passport and come with us to the Philippines, don't worry about the money I'll pay for the flight. Of coarse he says something like you cant do that to get a girlfriend. The truth is he needs real experience with a real woman, reading some pick up guide does nothing if he will not take a risk and step out of his familiarity zone. You know to me guys like this have an endless supply of excuses and because of this they never get anywhere. If they would talk about there failures and keep trying different things they would make progress.

I am thinking this, you can plow right over any issue/hang-ups to get to sex barring he is gay.
You say you want to renegotiating your relationship with him, making it sexual. You really cannot just talk about this you have to just do it.

You can offer to clean his house/apartment.
At the pub you can get drunk and throw yourself on him, you can act drunker than you really are, its the perfect excuse to do and say all those naughty things.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-son3EJTrU[/youtube]