What things should I work on?
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Almost no one looks like a male model. The idea is to be healthy, active, energetic, positive, happy, confident etc. It'll help with both getting a job and finding a partner.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Putting yourself out there, essentially, to be judged is stressful and can cause a great deal of anxiety for anyone- on the spectrum or not. It's a great step that you're willing to do that and shows a lot of courage, especially if you've ever been hurt or rejected in the past. I think a key thing is to try and connect with people who have similar interests which makes talking to and spending time with that person easier. As a parent, this is something I have helped my child with as well. I read this article which was written for parents trying to help their child on the spectrum with practical tips, but some of the information may be relevant and help you as well. Here is the link to the article (Dating on the Autism Spectrum ). I hope you find this useful and I wish you the best of luck in trying to connect with someone. That's all any of us really want anyway Dating on the Autism Spectrum
"6. I do make the first move when I come across someone I might want to date, but I struggle with a lot of the unwritten and unspoken social cues."
This is the one I am concerned with the most.
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Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
This is the one I am concerned with the most.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
I've heard "skinny fat"described around here as a " thin string of lard."Slender looks fine if people are toned.Then it's called "wiry."
I think you have a good personality and sense of humor.
It is a sad fact that many people,both males and females will judge you for not having a job.But it seems like you have a good chance of landing one soon.
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I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
This is the one I am concerned with the most.
I think much of it *can* be written down. Same thing with going into a different culture; you can avoid a lot of gaffes by reading up, getting tips. I don't know where social-cue lists for dating interactions are, though.
What are some cues you've missed in the past? I'd be happy to brainstorm with you if there's not a ready-made list out there.
My BF is really big on empathy, and he picks up on cues a lot of NTs don't. For example, the first time we met, he figured out that saying goodbye with a hug would be totally off-putting to me. He closed with a hug after our second date, when we'd spent an entire day together. That still surprised me, but it was fine. He also just flat-out accepts and operates on individual cues where a lot of "normal" people would try to force the individual into the norm. When I ask him how he does it, he can point out concrete details he's added up.
Oh, and FWIW, he's fat and I don't find that off-putting at all. He always smells nice, and he owns that he's a major nerd.
I think you have a good personality and sense of humor.
It is a sad fact that many people,both males and females will judge you for not having a job.But it seems like you have a good chance of landing one soon.
How do you figure I have a good personality? I don't think I do.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
The idea of looking for people with the same interests is one I have sworn by for years, but the problem is that my interests do not have much of a female fan base.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
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