it is better to have NEVER loved than to have loved and lost

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'tis better to have never loved than loved and lost- discuss.
YES! it hurts far worse to have lost a love than to have never felt love at all. 47%  47%  [ 8 ]
NO! it hurts far worse to never have experienced love, a breakup could never compare! 18%  18%  [ 3 ]
they both hurt like wang, but the former is acute while the latter is chronic like a dull ache that never quits 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
i don't really give a damn one way or another 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
just give me my ice cream and i'll be happy :) 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 17

auntblabby
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20 Mar 2014, 11:32 pm

please discuss.



KB8CWB
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20 Mar 2014, 11:43 pm

This is solely my opinion but I believe it is worse to love and have lost love. It is hard enough being an aspie to form a true bond and relationship with someone. I would go so far as to say much harder for us then an NT they seem to change partners more then some people I know change their socks. My reason for it being harder for us is because it was (at least for me) more emotionally draining to an aspie as opposed to an NT. As an aspie, we have to work far harder with communication and leaving the door open and trusting someone. It is emotionally draining as far as effort to be in a relationship just to have it thrown away. NTs just seem to move on to the next conquest as they don't have nearly the effort or energy spent that we do (emotionally speaking). Interactions with people I find draining in general and I seriously need down time to recharge. I don't see NTs having to do that but perhaps I am wrong.



auntblabby
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20 Mar 2014, 11:48 pm

all I know is that it is the worst pain I have ever felt.



KB8CWB
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21 Mar 2014, 12:03 am

auntblabby wrote:
all I know is that it is the worst pain I have ever felt.


Losing someone? Or never have loved? To me, losing someone relationship wise is as bad as the death of someone very close as in a parent or sibling. Is that what you are referring to?

I am sorry for your pain.



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2014, 12:18 am

KB8CWB wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
all I know is that it is the worst pain I have ever felt.


Losing someone? Or never have loved? To me, losing someone relationship wise is as bad as the death of someone very close as in a parent or sibling. Is that what you are referring to?

I am sorry for your pain.

lost.



KB8CWB
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21 Mar 2014, 12:32 am

Just know you have friends here for you. I for one can relate. One reason I have been single 8 1/2 years and doubtful I will EVER get involved again. Too painful. :cry:



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2014, 12:36 am

KB8CWB wrote:
Just know you have friends here for you. I for one can relate. One reason I have been single 8 1/2 years and doubtful I will EVER get involved again. Too painful. :cry:

I already know I'm done with people.



i_wanna_blue
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21 Mar 2014, 6:00 am

I've only loved from afar so i'm not sure if that counts as never having loved or not. since i've never had the person reciprocate my feelings, due to them not knowing (since i've never explicitly said it), does that count as having lost love? again i'm not sure.

i would say though that losing love is the worst of the two, since in never having loved, you haven't invested something and lost it.



Last edited by i_wanna_blue on 21 Mar 2014, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

smudge
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21 Mar 2014, 7:17 am

I like ice-cream. I believe it is a dairy delight of creamy goodness.


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21 Mar 2014, 7:30 am

All I can say is, having had an army of horribly ended relationships and STILL being virgin as an adult man, is way worse than all other life scenarios.

Luckily I don't fall into that category.



AdamAutistic
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21 Mar 2014, 7:45 am

:(


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TenPencePiece
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21 Mar 2014, 7:47 am

It's "better" not to have loved but neither are ideal


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21 Mar 2014, 7:53 am

Ah, good point.
It wouldn't be love if it didn't have some pain in it somewhere. It startles you and burns you inside. It kinda f***s you up but it's worth giving a shot. Love is running, going forward and never letting it go.
Though loving and not getting anything back is... well... That just sucks, man.
I can say that I'm neutral. 8)


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auntblabby
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21 Mar 2014, 12:40 pm

it feels like nobody can be trusted. it's a jungle out there.



wozeree
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21 Mar 2014, 2:31 pm

auntblabby wrote:
it feels like nobody can be trusted. it's a jungle out there.



Oy! I'm sorry you feel so bad! Trust is tough. But just remember, not finding a mate is not the same thing as not finding a friend, they are two different kinds of things, two different kinds of trust.



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2014, 2:53 pm

wozeree wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
it feels like nobody can be trusted. it's a jungle out there.



Oy! I'm sorry you feel so bad! Trust is tough. But just remember, not finding a mate is not the same thing as not finding a friend, they are two different kinds of things, two different kinds of trust.

yes, I learned that from being on wrong planet :) but face to face I can't read people, I get mixed signals all the time.