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24 Mar 2014, 3:23 am
24 Mar 2014, 3:24 am
24 Mar 2014, 3:43 am
24 Mar 2014, 3:44 am
Willard wrote:
......
So when the pieces all finally fell into place, it was like a spiritual epiphany. Autism! THAT'S who I am! It just made so much sense. I wasn't the uncooperative, annoying, stubborn, oddball loser I'd been accused of being all my life - I had actual brain damage and it was a medically recognized, diagnosable disorder. Maybe I should have been upset about that, but after 45 years (when I first discovered what AS was), it was actually quite a relief. It wasn't my fault. I'd known that all along, but here was proof. In Your Face, Neurotypical World!
went through the school system in the 60s and 70s, and in the 60s, there were only 2 types of kids - normal kids and retards. Either you kept up with the rest of the students, or you got put in a remedial class with the kids who were never expected to amount to anything, because they were too dumb. It was only in the mid 1970s that school professionals began to recognize handicaps like Dyslexia and ADD, but there was still no mention of anything like High Functioning Autism. Being a geek or a nerd was a social designation, not a learning disability. There's no telling how many of our generation are still plodding miserably through their lives with no idea why they have never experienced the kinds of stability in careers and relationships that their peers seem to achieve so effortlessly. .
So when the pieces all finally fell into place, it was like a spiritual epiphany. Autism! THAT'S who I am! It just made so much sense. I wasn't the uncooperative, annoying, stubborn, oddball loser I'd been accused of being all my life - I had actual brain damage and it was a medically recognized, diagnosable disorder. Maybe I should have been upset about that, but after 45 years (when I first discovered what AS was), it was actually quite a relief. It wasn't my fault. I'd known that all along, but here was proof. In Your Face, Neurotypical World!
went through the school system in the 60s and 70s, and in the 60s, there were only 2 types of kids - normal kids and retards. Either you kept up with the rest of the students, or you got put in a remedial class with the kids who were never expected to amount to anything, because they were too dumb. It was only in the mid 1970s that school professionals began to recognize handicaps like Dyslexia and ADD, but there was still no mention of anything like High Functioning Autism. Being a geek or a nerd was a social designation, not a learning disability. There's no telling how many of our generation are still plodding miserably through their lives with no idea why they have never experienced the kinds of stability in careers and relationships that their peers seem to achieve so effortlessly. .
This sounds a bit like my story. I was diagnosed at 39, I'm now in my mid 40s. I knew since I was about 7 that there was something different about me, and soon worked out that it was not acceptable to the mainstream, and must be hidden at all costs. I remember being taken for some sort of cognitive assessment on at least one occasion, and several for my lack of co-ordination , lax ligaments and lack of muscle tone. I have strong memories of being taken for some cognitive assessment at about age six, and the guy asking me to guess which squigly line was longer. Being my logical self, I couldn't imagine why you would guess when you could measure - so I used the only measuring device available - my thumb. I thought this was quite clever at the time - but I was told that I was not following directions, and not trying.
After reading up on autism, I figured I had something related to this, but at that stage there was only LFA, so I must be the lazy stupid stubborn freak everyone told me I was.
I found out relatively recently that my autism was known or suspected for many years, I don't know how long. I was never given a break, for it, in fact I was treated worse than my siblings
Willard wrote:
Between the time I first read about AS and the time I was diagnosed (about 2 years), I tried several times to find a former coworker of mine, whom I strongly suspected was also likely an Aspergian Autistic, thinking that he, too, might find this information to be personally cathartic, but he had mysteriously fallen completely off the grid. His email address was no longer valid, his profile had disappeared from the website of the last radio station I'd known him to be affiliated with and no search turned up the slightest hint of his whereabouts or current activities.
Less than a year after I'd been diagnosed, I got an email from another former coworker who had received notification from the man's (former) wife through Facebook - his career, like mine, had finally petered out, he didn't have the social connections to find another job in his field, and his age and lack of experience in any other profession left him virtually unemployable. After nearly two years of joblessness, his wife had divorced him and depression, anxiety and the prospect of homelessness had led him to despair and suicide. If I had found him in time, and he had been diagnosed, he would have at least been able to file for disability.......
.
Less than a year after I'd been diagnosed, I got an email from another former coworker who had received notification from the man's (former) wife through Facebook - his career, like mine, had finally petered out, he didn't have the social connections to find another job in his field, and his age and lack of experience in any other profession left him virtually unemployable. After nearly two years of joblessness, his wife had divorced him and depression, anxiety and the prospect of homelessness had led him to despair and suicide. If I had found him in time, and he had been diagnosed, he would have at least been able to file for disability.......
.
I am sorry for your friend. In my darkest hours I fear this will also be my fate.
24 Mar 2014, 4:13 am
24 Mar 2014, 7:43 am
24 Mar 2014, 8:01 am
24 Mar 2014, 8:33 am
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