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yummypie
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08 Apr 2014, 10:21 pm

I want to move to a place and work somewhere more accepting of me, is easier to make friends, a good chance for me to find a job where I'm not bullied or isolated by coworkers, a good chance at having a girlfriend, and where there is something fun to do, with plenty of public transportation 24/7. Are there any cities in the US that can handle this?



LittlePigLocksmith
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09 Apr 2014, 1:45 am

My sister and I have actually talked quite a bit about what type of environment is more suitable for an aspie. I've lived in a small town/rural setting all my life (I only put Portlan as my location because it's the nearest major city). I've always fantasized about getting a farm like the one my dad had when I was little. It's calm, peaceful and gives you plenty of room to breathe.

My sister on the other hand has been moving between big cities ever since she moved out (with the exception of living in an apartment in a suburb not far from me for about a year). Recently, she's been trying to convince me that I'd be happier in Portland though. Of all the cities I've heard of it's probably the most aspie friendly. The motto "keep Portland weird" pretty much sums up what they're about. It's a conurbation for curious comportment complete with public nudity and the best Marry Jane in the country :)

I thought that living in a place with more people would mean that you interacted with people more, but when I went there I was surprized to see that while I was in the city, I actually found myself in far fewer social situations than living in a more sparsely populated area. When I was living on a farm out in the middle of nowhere, I never felt nearly as Isolated as I did while I was in the city. It was really a strange thing.

You'll find that it's easier to make friends in a small town. When there are only about 200 people in a town, they notice when someone new comes along and make an effort to get to know them. In the city you'll find that people won't do anything of the sort.

As for public transportation, my sister hasn't had to drive or get rides from anyone since she's moved to Portland (and she works nights currently). It's also very cyclist friendly as far as cities go. It's supposed to be better for the environment, but it's also quite convinient.

As for finding a girlfriend, I don't think there's any place where that's easy.

As for being bullied/isolated at work, I suppose that just depends on where you work.

There's always something fun to do in Portland. You'll find that anything unusual either ends up in Portland or passes through at some point. That means a lot of really incredibe bands and crazy events. If hemp-fest and pride-fest aren't your cup of tea, there's also Brainsilo, Portland's very own Hacker-space.

It's kind of ard to find. The door is in this dark alley behind a glass factory in a scary looking part of town. Man, my first trip there was weird. Still, it's pretty cool. Here's their website: http://www.brainsilo.org/

Basically, if you're into any subculture or want to get away with strange behavior, I think Portland is the way to go.



paxfilosoof
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09 Apr 2014, 4:23 am

yummypie wrote:
I want to move to a place and work somewhere more accepting of me, is easier to make friends, a good chance for me to find a job where I'm not bullied or isolated by coworkers, a good chance at having a girlfriend, and where there is something fun to do, with plenty of public transportation 24/7. Are there any cities in the US that can handle this?


Rural areas are in general aspie friendly. In cities people are more outgoing, and more "NeuroTypical".



Eccles_the_Mighty
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09 Apr 2014, 4:29 am

Go to Switzerland, it's Aspie heaven.

The whole place is structured down to the most minute detail, there are even local rules and regulations that say what day you can use your washing machine and how you are supposed to hand the washing on the line. Attention to detail? I once visited a friend near Berne and the last line of the driving instructions was "turn right after the junction and drive 524.5m down the lane, our house is the second on the right".


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ouroborosUK
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09 Apr 2014, 5:33 am

paxfilosoof wrote:
Rural areas are in general aspie friendly. In cities people are more outgoing, and more "NeuroTypical".


It is not so clear cut in my experience. Cities mean more people, which means more "weird" people, which mean that, in some cities at least, people have to learn to live with persons that they don't understand well. It also means a large a mass of "anonymous" people where nobody is paying much attention to each other, and where your aspie mannerism are less likely to be noticed. To sum it up: plenty of things constantly happen in a big city, including some weird things, so your own weirdness won't look as weird as in some other places.

And on the other hands, in sparsely populated areas people tend to know each other much better and to keep an eye on each other. If people like you that is great, if they don't that mean you live as an outcast. (It is not only for autism or disabilities. There is a woman I knew who lives in a small village with quite religious and conservative people. Her husband died in an accident, and about one year later she met another man and they started living together. Nobody speaks to them any more because somehow the people think it is "not right". I think those people are unusually backwards and stupid and I don't insinuate that applies to all rural areas, but probably you can see how that kind of thinking could transfer to autistic behaviours.)


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kraftiekortie
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09 Apr 2014, 7:27 am

New York City, especially if one lives near the subway (it runs 24 hrs), would be ideal for an Aspie seeking 24-hour transportation. For the most part, the bus lines are decent as well--though, as one goes nearer the suburbs, one experiences less reliability in public transport.

In most areas, an Aspie wouldn't stand out. I do, because I howl in the streets LOL. There's plenty of weirdness in NYC; in certain places, you would be the odd person out if you WEREN'T weird.

London, UK, too---though the Tube closes at around midnight.



ouroborosUK
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09 Apr 2014, 8:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
London, UK, too---though the Tube closes at around midnight.


I am living there right now. There are some plans for next autumn to have a sizeable subset of the tube network operate all the night long during weekends : http://www.tfl.gov.uk/campaign/the-future-of-the-tube Right now it closes between midnight and 1AM, which is not so bad. And the night bus network is extensive and reliable (some of the regular lines run 24h a day, and there are some special night services).

Globally, we all have our preferences, issues and need but I like London and can recommend it. I have only recently got my DX and don't know much about the support, service and benefits for autistic people and the way they compare to other places, but acceptance and awareness about autism and asperger are quite high (after all this is the city where Lorna WIng, Uta Frith and Tony Attwood worked and studied), most medical professionals I met had a sensible and realistic view of autism even if they were not specialists, and in my experience even random people are less likely to be completely clueless or filled with inaccurate preconceptions than in many other places. The city itself is a pleasant place to live (much more than I expected when arriving here), the city is very multicultural and I found people to be quite tolerant and accepting of differences, and I find the relationship style of englishmen and people living here more adapted to my problems than elsewhere in Europe.


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AspergianMutantt
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09 Apr 2014, 8:28 am

That depends on where your living now, west USA would be your best bet, some place close to Portland Oregon. also, what kind of weather do you tend to like and how much of a population would you feel comfortable with.


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09 Apr 2014, 4:31 pm

It also depends on what your sensory issues are like: you may be anonymous in a big city, but there's a lot of noise, air pollution and physical contact in places like London and NYC. One of the nicest, most tranquil towns I've ever visited is in England where my grandparents live. It's a sub-section of Cornwall called Bodmin, and it's small, remote, and has beautiful green fields and forests for as far as the eye can see (and I mean deep English green, none of that partially yellow dead grass stuff you get here in US fields). The British culture is different too; even in small towns people keep more to themselves than Americans do, and are less likely to start talking to you out of the blue, which I find really nice. All the shops are condensed closely together -- Brits don't really go in for alleyways in small towns -- which means they're within easy walking distance from everything. Another minor bonus; the chocolate is to die for.


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09 Apr 2014, 4:42 pm

Dittos to everything already said. My take on it is that to live in the country, you need money and a car and you need to be comfortable driving. In a city, you don't need as much money and you can more easily access a job with public transportation. What some Aspies do is move to a city, get a job which is routine oriented and which allows them to accrue a savings, and then in time move to the country. The pivotal issue in my mind is deciding what sort of job to get, and that is a subject for another forum.