I'm happy that people give me the time of day, but I don't

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

NukiPershtatet
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 4

20 Apr 2014, 9:42 pm

actually want to talk to them

Is this strange or typical of ASDs?

What I mean is I'm happy that people want to talk to me and initiate conversation with me, but I don't like the actual conversation (I guess because my social skills are kind of poor, but not terrible). I'm just easily bored and annoyed by people in general, since most people have next to nothing in common with me :/

Despite this I still want people to like me (and many do or at least claim to, I sometimes question how people do like me)

Eh, I'm probably just weird



TheWildMan
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2014
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 9

20 Apr 2014, 10:10 pm

Sounds really typical for ASD and that's actually the conversation I JUST finished having with someone. I was politely asked if I minded talking about their issues and not just my usual ramble of a severely one-sided conversation. I definitely find that I have a hard time talking to people about things that are not my usual interests and this is really obvious. I do feel like I'm watching, or listening in this case, to paint drying if I have to hear about something other than what is on my mind. I feel like the other person is talking in slow motion and just can't spit it out quick enough! Then as quick as possible I try and turn the conversation back to my topic of the day, whatever it is. Even if it's not what that person wants to talk about I feel like were both more engaged in the conversation, otherwise I feel like I'm just saying what I think they might want to here. I can really relate to enjoying talking to certain people but just not liking the actual conversation. Most of the time if I'm really wanting to talk to somebody just because I want to, I'll think of a way to bring up and push a conversation on them of my choice. A friend of mine tells me I do this and has gotten used to it and really doesn't mind. Not everyone feels that of course. But anyway, I don't think it really makes you "weird". Most of the people that think I'm odd I think are much odder. It's about everyone being different. Sounds like it's part of the one-sidedness of conversation that is part of ASD with most people. Also sounds just like me.



alessi
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 172

20 Apr 2014, 10:29 pm

I want to have conversations with people but I get nervous and tongue tied. I think I am out of practice and it is getting harder.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,609
Location: the island of defective toy santas

20 Apr 2014, 10:42 pm

when somebody the least bit nice to me deigns to converse with me, I give it my all. but it can exhaust me.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,714

20 Apr 2014, 10:50 pm

It's so exhausting just trying to follow conversations sometimes, that I just can't make any effort after a while. I wouldn't mind hanging an "out to lunch" sign around my neck some days.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,609
Location: the island of defective toy santas

20 Apr 2014, 10:51 pm

move into the uncanny valley and you surely will be left alone.



Marky9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,625
Location: USA

20 Apr 2014, 10:53 pm

I think I can relate. I enjoy nods of recognition and a banal "How are you", but I generally prefer things be limited to that. I have studied and practiced conversation skills enough that I can usually offer others a pleasant conversational experience, but I often find it tiresome.



Milanor
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 44

21 Apr 2014, 11:45 am

I have the same problem as well, especially when I go to a new environment and just starting to break the ice (or understand others). I often don't have a breadth of topics to talk about or better yet, know the interests of others. I suppose to others, they find me rather one dimensional and gets bored quickly. Likewise, I have a hard time to engage in convos since most of the convos are topics that I know very little about to follow or contribute to the discussion.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,609
Location: the island of defective toy santas

21 Apr 2014, 12:00 pm

when people start talking about pop culture I have to bow out.