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MonsterGuy
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03 May 2014, 5:28 pm

My mom isn't letting me give a 1/2 American, 1/4 Turkish, and 1/4 Bosnian girl I know but not that well, a love poem. She says her cultural beliefs (Turkish and Bosnian) are against it. I'm 15, and she's 15. Is she right, or is she being overbearing?



melmaclorelai
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04 May 2014, 3:05 am

I can sort of relate to this as I am only a second generation citizen of my birth country and still have some ties to the countries my grandparents emigrated from. I was often told that I couldn't do something for cultural or religious reasons as a kid. I can see how your mother would be concerned about this love poem reflecting badly on her if what she says is true and word were to get out to other members of her cultural community about it.

She may also be trying to protect you from being humiliated or otherwise treated badly and using culture as the reason why you shouldn't do it. I personally value having close cultural ties but I definitely know how limiting and oppressive they can be if they are allowed to define your life. At some point, you need to decide whether you value those cultural ties or not and if you want to be connected to them.

I think it's best to ask your mother to elaborate on her reasoning and to investigate whether other people in your cultural group go by it or not. She may not be honest with you but I don't think I can know enough about the situation just from your post to judge it. Parents aren't always right but neither are their offspring.


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