People w/ non-binary sexual, romantic or gender identities!

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My tale of hardship? I removed myself from interactions with the GLBT+ community at large because they don't understand and aren't empathetic to gender fluid or bigender people, most people with those identities don't seem to share my specific concerns, and I was too tempted to lash out every time I saw someone suggesting that someone with a female sex and a gender that was or included male just use a strap-on or a Feeldoe. I didn't see any suggestions for those in the same situations with a male sex, but I'm sure it would have been equally trivializing.

Perhaps the homosexuals suggesting it should just date masculine women or feminine men, because it's better than nothing and superficially the same as what they want - problem solved! No more coming out, no more hiding, no more confusion, and no more judgment.

My support comes from my boyfriend and those who aren't GLBT+, and they do a better job of it than anyone in support groups or forums.

Last edited by ReverieMe on 15 May 2014, 4:22 pm, edited 3 times in total.

That is a good explaination. Though I think some would say that gender lines are more fluid than that. I have a blank white board. I really could care less if people think I'm male or female, though I like dresses because they are comfortable. I hate women's shoes though, a sadist must have invented court shoes and stilletos. I look female. My birth certificate reads female and I've stuck with that because meh, I might as well. If it said male I wouldn't be bothered by that either. I am just me. I would still have the same job either way.

I guess that confuses men too when it comes to dating. I am quiet happy to do manual labor around the house. I am always surprized that men are not impressed by that. I suppose they would be if I was another guy, but it's a bit intimidating in a woman. Some are impressed. They tend to be older and married. I guess they are not intimidated because they won't ever date me and I pose no threat to them.

People are complicated. Or are people simple and I'm complicated? I think most people find me a bit too much outside the box to deal with in general. Those who get along with me just leave me to get on with it.
But then I wonder if this is because I vere more toward the autism spectrum than the average person. Am I agendered or just autistic? They say autism is extreme male brain, so you would expect an autistic woman to relate to men. I don't know.

Does it matter? I'm just me. Difficult to understand, but me none-the-less.

I'd never heard of that before. I'm glad that's a thing, that's really nifty.

Though that gives my sexuality a really really long name. And even more unheard of. I feel like it would be hard to explain to people that I'm "androgynosexual". But that's pretty neat that some people think this is a real and legitimate sexuality.

I looked it up in Google, but almost the only thing I saw about it was a page on an asexuality wiki.
Anyway, thank you for sharing, no I hadn't.


Yeah, I don't like this whole "special snowflake" thing that's going around, either. Not long ago when I told someone I was genderqueer, they don't me that I was trying to be a special snowflake, and that I'm a bad person.

Well, there's a lot to read and respond to but I'm enjoying and thank you for your considerate response!

I have very limited interpersonal experience, but based on what experience I do have I identify as a GQ demi.

I'm not sure what I have in the way of stories. Someone didn't have the integrity to inform me that they had found someone else because I wasn't sexual enough, claiming that they didn't tell me because they 'didn't want to hurt me'. Needless to say it's stacked even more self-confidence issues onto me than I'd previously had and I currently feel that for every desirable quality I have there are a number of undesirable ones. I'm not sure what I am doing in life, I am very lost and feel very useless.

Sometimes I wish I had more tangible desires, something more materialistic. At least money can cure those. But no amount of money or physical objects can buy me the kind of relationship I want. I am very anxiety prone, sometimes to a paralyzing level, and sometimes I become immersed in worries about if my brain is too messed up to be desirable for anyone, especially when I'll take a long time to even consider sex as a possibility.

Well, that was more depressing than I was expecting, and frankly I don't even know how much was relevant to this topic, but there it is.

I am pansexual, polyamorous, and what I like to call "genderf**ked." I guess the "proper" term is more like genderfluid, and my sexuality is somewhat fluid as well, although I tend more towards maleness and attraction towards females (this isn't always at the same time, though! Sometimes I'll be more like a lesbian or a straight girl or a gay man or a pansexual whatever, or bigender or genderless...)

It makes things difficult sometimes, because I can't honestly say I'm one gender or the other. People have to be bisexual or pansexual to like me...and that's kind of inconvenient since I REALLY like sex.

Oh, yeah. I'm "hypersexual" or "over-sexed" as well. I hear a lot of Autistic people tend to be over-sexed or under-sexed (supposedly because part of the Autism brain that's different is the hypothalamus, which affects sex, among other things) and it makes things hard (no pun intended) because if I don't get stimulation at least once a day I have trouble functioning the next day and am very annoying and have terrible social skills. I don't know if this counts for here, though.

bisexual just means, you're sexually attracted to both male and female, pan sexual means that you don't care about biological sex but whats in the heart instead. While it does seem similar a pansexual could go with someone who might be trans whichever and be like "well they are a good person in the heart and that's what I care about more then what they have between their legs".

Anyway, I am an asexual genderqueer. I learned I was GQ about 4 years ago and learned I was asexual around the same amount of time ago. I didn't know much about asexual until this year when I discovered the AVEN forum and read stuff on there while lurking around topics and the like. As far as being genderqueer, in a gendered world, society, AND the fact that my folks are really religious and conservative Christians ... well lets just say that while explaining the complexities to them is a bit much at this point I still remain with a gender neutral mind set all the way around.

I knew I was different when I didn't express an interest in sex and the fact that I didn't want to "bang" someone like everyone else around me. I also knew that I was different because I felt like I was partial more masculine but not totally manish and DEFINITELY not feminine at all. If anything for a while I felt like a gay boy in a female body but I knew that made little to no sense so I never tried to explain it to anyone. The way I used to identify with online friends was I would say I was a "feminine boy and a tomboyish girl in the same body". More confusion, oh joy ! ! Anyway I was glad when I found the term genderqueer to describe myself because it felt like all those things I'd been feeling all the time finally had a name to it which would make explaining things a little easier. It even took me 3 years of exploration to really decide if that title was right for me because at the time I was 22 years old and the brain statistically speaking isn't fully developed until 25 and right now I'm 26. With that being said I'm very aware of who I am at this point and there's no changing it.

I thought I was asexual because I didn't really get sexual attraction & I didn't have much interest in having sex until my partner was. I'm begging to think I might be demisexual & experience alittle sexual attraction if I like someone romantically but I'm not sure. I did masturbate a lot partly cuz of a high sex drive & OCD addition to porn but I never really thought about or imagined having sex with any of the women or anything even if I did think they looked good. When I was trying to find a relationship, I was looking for someone who could be my best friend & share my life with & be affectionate with & sex was not on my mind. It got pretty frustrating when everyone seemed to be wanting sex. I complained about that on Plenty Of Fish forums & someone suggested that I might be asexual & mentioned AVEN. I checked it out & it seemed to fit me so I joined. I later joined AceBook which was an asexual dating & friendship site but I'm not sure if it's still around. I really liked it & AVEN at 1sat but after a while I didn't feel like I totally fit in because of my high sex drive & the fact that I was willing to have sex if I got a girlfriend who was. I joined WP & quit going to those sites after abit because I felt like I fit in with WP more cuz of my Aspergers issues.