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RightGalaxy
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29 May 2014, 8:14 am

As many now know that Maya Angelou has passed away. Of course, she had many quotes and one was "Never Make Someone a Priority When All You Are to Them is an Option."
Many people who experience aloneness most of the time very often make a person they are romantically interested in a priority. This is what leads to so much pain to many (not all) people on this site and why love seems so elusive to them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2014, 8:36 am

Great quote, totally true.



kraftiekortie
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29 May 2014, 9:45 am

I agree as well. But one has to keep on striving to improve one's self.



MR20
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29 May 2014, 9:55 am

Wise quote from a wise woman. RIP



GiantHockeyFan
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29 May 2014, 10:04 am

I totally agree. I made many people a priority when I just an option (back up plan) to them. I have sworn I will rather be alone than be like this again.



Klowglas
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29 May 2014, 10:08 am

I don't understand this quote, as opposed to someone that is forced to be with you? Whaa?



Aspie1
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29 May 2014, 10:26 am

So true! That's the reason why <groan!> nice guys get their heart broken a lot. They have a tendency to put women on a pedestal (read: make them a priority) at even the slightest sign of interest (read: being an option).

To address Klowglas's comment, "option" refers to being one selection among many, rather than a yes/no choice.



Klowglas
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29 May 2014, 10:33 am

I understand what option means, but the absence of options suggests that such a person has no choice but to be with you, that sounds terrible!



Aspie1
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29 May 2014, 10:40 am

You're right. But making someone a priority is, in a way, neglecting to give yourself an option or choice. After all, when someone is a priority, they and their needs take precedence. Besides, like a lot of sayings, this one is not meant to be taken literally word-for-word.



Giftorcurse
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29 May 2014, 10:42 am

I'm not going to give in some domineering tramp.


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Jono
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29 May 2014, 11:24 am

Giftorcurse wrote:
I'm not going to give in some domineering tramp.


What's with all the sexist language? Haven't you been warned by the mods already?



Klowglas
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29 May 2014, 11:36 am

Giftorcurse has the gift of temping mod-wrath, though he is unsure if that is either a gift or curse.



Giftorcurse
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29 May 2014, 11:38 am

I doubt I'm in a good state of mind.


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em_tsuj
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29 May 2014, 12:03 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
So true! That's the reason why <groan!> nice guys get their heart broken a lot. They have a tendency to put women on a pedestal (read: make them a priority) at even the slightest sign of interest (read: being an option).

To address Klowglas's comment, "option" refers to being one selection among many, rather than a yes/no choice.


That's not a nice guy. That's a guy with low self-esteem and low self-worth.



GiantHockeyFan
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29 May 2014, 1:21 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
So true! That's the reason why <groan!> nice guys get their heart broken a lot. They have a tendency to put women on a pedestal (read: make them a priority) at even the slightest sign of interest (read: being an option).

To address Klowglas's comment, "option" refers to being one selection among many, rather than a yes/no choice.


I used to feel that way and it was due to low self-esteem. Then I looked in the mirror and said f*** that. I am more mature than these girls I damn well expect to be given the same respect I give to others. I was able to do a 180 on a girl I had been crushing for quite some time and say to myself "I am not dealing with her childish crap anymore! She might be good looking but she is far too immature for me to waste my time on" as I walked away from her for good.



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10 Jun 2014, 11:42 pm

Absolutely. I tend to be a little emotionally reserved, but I fear that I'm often seen as just one option among many or a notch on a belt. It's far better to treat yourself as more.